I like the way you organized the first eight lines of your piece. It was somewhat repetitive, but you used it to your advantage and made it even better. Also, the ambiguity of the piece adds to the whole thing. Well done and keep writing!!!
This was a beautiful poem and very well-written. You managed to get your feelings across successfully, and you painted a loving and beautiful picture with your words. The picture that was included with the poem was a good and helpful addition as well.