|I think any girl would be excited to get something like this :)
I just want to point a couple of punctuational and grammatical things...
My promise to you,
if you give me the chance,
is to love you with all my heart.
I'll hold you when you're sad,
will always make you glad.
Your happiness will be my life's goal.
I'll do what it takes
to make your life great,
and provide for you
everything you'll ever need.
But my promise to you
cannot be made true,
without you giving me a chance.
A somewhat revised version. Best of luck!