I think these are really good lyrics it has a lot of repetition which is good in lyrics I hope you keep writing because I think you will get far in life if you carry on there was no typos or mistakes or anything I hope you will read my comments and listen to my feedback
This is an amazing poem I love the way you repeated the line at the end of every paragraph. I liked the way it rhymed as well I hope you carry on writing because this poem is fantastic there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
All the best
Aleesha
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