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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/leowriters
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16 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by C.Lauren Lawler
Rated: E | (5.0)
you are quite and interesting person. full of life and someone who really does seem to enjoy themself and the life that has been delt to them. We seem to have quite a bit in common from our likes in tv to books to movies. I discovered William through the movie The Skulls though. He is quite handsome. I wish I had the passion you do about writing though. I have all these ideas in my head and some on paper but it gets muddled and I get fustrated. I have almost completed a script, i have 2 short stories, and numerous ideas just waiting to jump onto pages. I LOVE the fact you have a possum. How cool!!! Published?!?!?!?! WOW if only. I hope and wish ou continued succes in writing and life. You are one of inspiration!
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Review of Cause and Effect  
Review by C.Lauren Lawler
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
a nice-looking old wood creation with a real red flag on it - went flying through the air, did four cartwheels(is this needed?)

probably about(maybe use "around")

coccyx(don't thing us average folk, know that this is)

Unless you set this straight I won't kiss you again. I think James walks by us in the morning, you could set it straight then, or do it at P.E. It is up to you, though. I want you to know before you start assuming: that I still love you(I'm a girl and this has happened to ne and there is no way I'd be this...kind.)

Matt's girlfriend(we know this already)

"But can't I go out, too?"(should this say "But can't I go back, too?")


WOW LOVE the ending. Best to leave well enough alone. Things happen for a reason...




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Review by C.Lauren Lawler
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I love birthdays!!!! I have only ever met one other person that has the same birthday as me. August 7th... I like to give out little present on birthdays. They are big around our house. Themes and all. My daughters(Haylee's she a member here through me B-day is July 21st..she'll be 13AGHHHHH!!! and my youngest is Becca and here's is on July 17th) are four days apart so we usely have one HUGE party!!! FUN FUN FUN
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Review by C.Lauren Lawler
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is something not only effects women, but dads too. However I do know full well what it's like. Your menu is still a little far out there for me. I'm lucky to get a boxed meal. I'm trying to use the Rachel Ray's cookbook. 30 minute meals, not a lot of ingredents...right up my ally
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Review by C.Lauren Lawler
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You must go with me shopping. I NEVER pay full price for anything. I live at the Goodwill, Clearance, Red Ticket, As a matter of fact I Just bought a Cardigan sweater coat that is normally $20.00 for $3.00. After working for years in retail, I know the "real price", and I refuse to pay full price for anything that I can get for 75% off or better. I even got a $300.00 evening gown for $10.00. It's just silly tp pay full price when for the same price you can get 3 times as much if you shop wisely. SHHHH, don't give our great little secret away to too many.
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Review by C.Lauren Lawler
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Ryan and Maggie’s greatest contribution to Hades, however, wasn’t the recruiting numbers; it was BOB. BOB was a computer program envisioned by Ryan and written by Maggie. BOB facilitated communication between all 24 Divisions in Hades–North America so that they could collaborate in their recruiting work. After all, most recruits weren’t one-dimensional. For example, a topsider might start with depression, then move to drugs, then crime, then back to depression. Of course, all divisions had a stake in each recruit, because BOB would award each division that took part in the recruiting a fraction of the number for reporting purposes. That was 25 years ago. Since that time, both Maggie and Ryan had been transferred all over the sprawling cooperation, training junior managers and overhauling entire divisions. Currently, Maggie was held the position of Chief Technology Assistant , and Ryan worked as Senior Manager of North America Recruiting.

The last sentence it says Maggie was held the position...it should be Maggie held the position...

Besides that it's great dang good, very interesting twist.

Do they get out though? Maybe a part two going a little deeper into his relationship with his Grandma, why he did, and why it's her that can save not just him bit both of them.
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