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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/liendou/sort_by/r.review_creation_time+DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time+DESC/page/2
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93 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall, a deep, powerful poem that read well. I was left wanting to read more.

Below I have only one suggestion:

1)You wrote:
Give me light, give me darkness.
Do not give me both.

These two lines contradict each other. You ask for light and darkness, yet the second line says not to give you both. Maybe to make it more clear, you could say:
Give me light or darkness,
But do not give me both.

Good writing,
Patty
27
27
Review of Some Day  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a wishful, hopeful poem that depicts life as it is now, and yet looks forward to the life ahead.

Below are my suggestions/comments:

1) You wrote:
We shall run nimbly
as children do,
jumping, skipping
across seas of cloud.


The first stanza showed lines two and four as rhyming. However, in this stanza, you lose the rhyme. For example, you might want to change the "of cloud" into "so blue" to make it rhyme with "do".

We shall run nimbly
as children do,
jumping, skipping
across seas so blue.

2)You wrote:
I’ll touch your face
with fingers
no longer gnarled
or twisted with age.

Again, watch your rhyme. Here's my suggested change:
My fingers will soon
touch your face,
no longer gnarled
or twisted with age.

The rest of the poem continues to have a rhyming issue, which affects the flow.

I particularly liked your last four lines - which wraps it up nicely.

Overall, a very nice poem.
Patty
28
28
Review of Lonely Hearts  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
When I read this story, I felt the sadness, depression, turbulence in this teenager's heart.

Below, I have my suggestions and comments:

1)You wrote:
With the death of her mother, it seemed no cared if she was alive or dead.

I think you meant:
With the death of her mother, it seemed no one cared if she was alive or dead.

2)You wrote:
“I’ve just began under a lot of stress recently because of the death of mother”

It probably should be:
“I’ve just been under a lot of stress recently because of the death of my mother.”

3)You wrote:
“I was wrong, I’m sorry” tears began to swell in her eyes again.

You need to watch your punctuation:
“I was wrong. I’m sorry,” tears began to swell in her eyes again.

4)You wrote:
“Samantha”

This needs a period. "Samantha."

5)You wrote:
“I wish I was a free as the seagulls, able to go anywhere I wanted to”

You probably meant:
“I wish I was as free as the seagulls, able to go anywhere I wanted to.”

6)You wrote:
The test results broke her heart she was pregnant.

This should be in two sentences.
The test results broke her heart. She was pregnant.

7)You wrote:
At first she couldn’t make out who it was, but when she saw it was Darwin she ran away her eyes filled with tears.

This would be better with a comma:
At first she couldn’t make out who it was, but when she saw it was Darwin she ran away, her eyes filled with tears.

Overall, I felt that this story needed some work on its punctuation. Also, the swearing words could be used less. They seemed to detract from the story.

Although I liked the ending, and am glad that Darwin turned out to be a responsible young man, how is he going to take care of her? Does he have a job?

Keep on writing!
Patty

This review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds... Go Noticed".


29
29
Review of The Waiter  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a brilliant piece of writing! I haven't read anything like this in a long time! I don't think a five does it justice!

The only thing that I thought was overdrawn, was the fight scene with the waiter. It somehow took away from the levity of the rest of the piece.

Good writing!
Patty
30
30
Review of COLLIDING ORBITS  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello,
I really liked this! It reminded me of my early years working in the ER as an EKG tech. Very realistic, even when he was looking from above his body. Your descriptions were quite vivid and timed well.

Below are my suggestions:

1) You wrote -
"Okay, let's lift him across on my count," the male voice instructed. "Okay. One, two, three and, over we go."

But after that, you didn't continue along that line. Did they lift him up onto a cot or something? Because the next paragraph goes into detail about his eyes.

2) You wrote -
"I'm sure he'll be okay, Mrs Mathews. Okay? Just need..." the doctor's voice receding into the distance as Christopher was dragged down, sinking deeper, drowning...

You used okay twice here. Maybe replace the first one with "all right" instead. Also, the "doctor's voice receding" should probably be "the doctor's voice receded"

3)You wrote-
The doctor's arm reaching out, the heel of his palm aiming for a red button mounted on the wall above the head of the bed. "Quick, get the defib' down here," the young man frantically requested.

I think you meant:
The doctor's arm reached out, the heel of his palm aiming for a ....
Also, who was the young man who frantically requested?
The doctor? If so, you could leave that part out. Otherwise, it's confusing.

4)You wrote-
Christopher followed his wife, eager to leave the confusion behind him. Elizabeth sat down on the nearest chair, beside an unoccupied bed, her head rocking slowly back and forth as she cried. The urgent ringing of an alarm drifted from the far end of the ward. "Where's Doctor Lamont? We got an arrest. Could certainly do with some help down here," the first nurse called out as she hurried back, pushing an equipment-laden trolley toward them. She steered the trolley into Christopher's cubical.

This paragraph could be separated into two -

Christopher followed his wife, eager to leave the confusion behind him. Elizabeth sat down on the nearest chair, beside an unoccupied bed, her head rocking slowly back and forth as she cried. The urgent ringing of an alarm drifted from the far end of the ward.

"Where's Doctor Lamont? We got an arrest. Could certainly do with some help down here," the first nurse called out as she hurried back, pushing an equipment-laden trolley toward them. She steered the trolley into Christopher's cubical.


Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this read, especially when I learned he made it! Yes!

Good writing,
Patty
(soon to be published)
http://www.geocities.com/10500bc/index.html
31
31
Review of Life's Trail  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Viv,
This was an interesting read. I sensed anger and defiance in the voice, which gave it a strong backbone.

To even think there are people out there that would wish the trip to be through and you gone from view is a depressing image.

Also, one part that stuck out:
but I am the reason that
I will stay alive,

This sort of didn't ring true. Are you the reason you will stay alive? Isn't it in God's plans whether we live or die? Just my thoughts on this.

Overall, as usual, good writing.
Patty
32
32
Review of The Mountain  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Viv,
I enjoyed the descriptions - they were so vivid, so well written. I could picture everything that
was happening.

However, when I got to the last stanza, I became confused. When you switched to
him being:

The man, now old, destroyed, and withered,..

I had a sense of time warp. Was he old now? How did this happen?

Also, when he woke lying on the valley floor, did
that mean he had died? How could he see his body young once more?

Keep on writing!
Patty


33
33
Review of Another Chance  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Viv,
This is such an outstanding story! I don't think a 5 does it justice! These are poignant characters, well described and likeable.

Below are my suggestions:

1) You wrote:
”I understand, sweetheart.

I think the sweetheart should be capitalized.

2) You wrote:
She did enter the house with Phil, but never left his side as her wide eyes searched from side to side as the woman led them to the utility room, where the large dog scrambled to her feet when they entered.

This seems like a long sentence. Maybe break it up into two:

She entered the house with Phil, but never left his side as her wide eyes searched from side to side. The woman led them to the utility room, where the large dog scrambled to her feet when they entered.

3)You wrote:
Sarah now sat on the floor with Princess beside her, the dog’s head in the child’s lap.

You can say instead;
Sarah now sat on the floor with Princess beside her, the dog’s head in her lap.

This is a memorable piece! I really loved the way you described Marie and her husband's sensitivity to her! Good writing.

Thanks for sharing this,
Patty
34
34
Review of My Three Wishes  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was such a beautiful, sincere and moving poem.

Below are my suggestions:
1)You wrote:
If a Genie, granted me three wishes,
I'd wish them all for you
I'd pray with all my heart and soul
That, they would all come true.
My wishes come with good intentions,
And this is what you'd see,
That to my Mom I give three wishes,
A gift to you from me.

Watch for the punctuation. Also, your syllables in the first (10 syllables) and third lines (8 syllables) don't go with the rest of the stanza. Here are my changes:

If a Genie grants me three wishes,
I'd wish them all for you.
I would pray with all my heart and soul,
That they would all come true.
My wishes come with good intentions, (9)
And this is what you'd see,(6)
That to my Mom I give three wishes,(9)
A gift to you from me.(6)


2)You wrote:
My first wish would be: For you to
Have my Father, back into your life,
Where you would never be apart and
Never have any strife.
My second wish goes as: For you both,
To be healthy, and to live without pain.
For this is my second wish and hope
You both attain.

Again, watch the puncutation and syllables. Here
are my suggested changes (I hope I didn't slaughter it too much!):

My first wish would be: For Father dear,
To come back in your life,
Where you would never be apart and
Never have any strife.
My second wish would be: For you both,
Healthy lives without pain.
For this is my second wish and hope
That you both could attain.

3)You wrote:
My third wish is the hardest, because
I'd have to let you go.
Though, I know I would see you again,
To both of you, this, I owe.
My Third wish ; Is to take you
Back to the day you both exchanged your
Hearts.

This stanza brought me to tears, sniffle. Yet,
it didn't flow as well as the others. Somehow the
ryhthm was off. Below are a few suggested changes:


My third wish is the hardest, because
I'd have to let you go.
Though, I know I would see you again,
To both of you, this, I owe.
My Third wish would be: To take you
Back to the magical day you both
exchanged your Hearts for love.


Overall, this was a very good read! With a few
changes in the punctuation/rhythm parts, this could
be tighter and flow better.
Keep on writing!
Dot


35
35
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Kathleen,
I liked your philosophy in this poem, and the way
you had the recurring stanza woven in. Very creative!

Now, for my suggestions below:

1)You wrote:
Never despair of catching your star,
Nor lose vision of mystical dreams.
Although sometimes promise seems afar;
Strive to capture the elusive beams.

Line 3 is awkward. It doesn't flow with the rhythm
of the other three lines. Also, promise doesn't seem to go with stars/dreams. Maybe use future instead?
You might consider changing to:

Never despair of catching your star,
Nor lose vision of mystical dreams.
Sometimes the future may seem afar;
Strive to capture the elusive beams.

2)You wrote:
And when your star is within grasp(8)
Then swept away by stormy cloud,(8)
Don't let your spirit lock like a clasp(9)
Search for the silver lining unbowed.(9)


Watch your rhythm and punctuation. First line is 8 syllables, second line is 8 syllables. Third and fourth lines are 9 syllables. In the first stanza you used all lines 9 syllables. You may want to change to 9 syllables:

And when your star is within your grasp,(9)
Then swept away by dark stormy clouds,(9)
Don't let your spirit lock like a clasp -(9)
Search for the silver lining unbowed.(9)

3)You wrote:

Always hum to the song in your heart(9)
Tho somedays a little off key.(8)
Ne'er let hope in your soul depart...(9)
Trust, you can be who you want to be.(9)

The rhythm in line 2 needs to be changed to 9 syllables. See how I changed it:

Always hum to the song in your heart(9)
Tho somedays it's a little off key.(9)
Ne'er let hope in your soul depart...(9)
Trust, you can be who you want to be.(9)

4)You wrote:
Offer your heart to all you may meet.(9)
Some may break, but others will mend.(8)
Bitter sprinkled with sugar flavors sweet,(10)
Adversity will sever foe from friend.(10)

To make the rhythm flow better, below are my
suggested changes:
Offer your heart to all you may meet.(9)
Some hearts may break, but others will mend.(9)
Bitter sprinkled with sugar tastes sweet,(9)
Adversity's not your best of friend.(9)

5)You wrote:
Marvel at sunrises, rainbows and love
As no one is promised tomorrow.
Cherish those close as a gift from above;
Treasured moments are lost, not borrowed.

To make rhythm flow better, see my suggested changes:

Marvel at sunrises, rainbows and love,
As no one is promised tomorrow.
Cherish close ones, as gifts from above;
Treasured moments may not be borrowed.


Overall, if you could just focus on making your rhythm flow better and watch your punctuation, this will be
a very tight and powerful poem.
Hope this helped!
Dot
36
36
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
How true to life this poem is!
You masterfully described the feelings the boy had for the dead puppy, then, just as spring comes after winter, you rejuvenated the boy's love for the new puppy.
Bravo!
Dot
37
37
Review of Winter Fog  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You did a wonderful job with the descriptions about the horse. Your writing was smooth and well-delivered.

It was very creative of you to add the cat in the story.

The only thing missing:
I would have liked to have read more about the relationship between the owner and the horse. (Reason being is because I'm curious how a horsetrainer trains horses - particularly wild ones).

Very nice!
Dot
That would have been interesting also.
38
38
Review of Regarding the Gun  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your poem is simple yet quite breathtaking! I literally got goosebumps reading it.

Just a note:

You end it with:
I will be well.

Did you mean to say:
All will be well.

For some reason, I will be well seems to talk about
someone being well from sickness. Was that your intention?

Keep up the excellent work!
Enjoy reading it all,
Dot
39
39
Review of Skirts of Rain  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a beautiful poem! Very imaginative, yet
concrete. It drew the picture of the dry land and the rainfall very vividly in my mind.

My suggestions below:

1)Since you are repeating, then this part in second stanza:
washing clean this cracked and brittle land,

should be similar to first one in first stanza:
washing clean the cracked and brittle land,

2) Just curious, what does this mean?
Her silvered flowing scarves are silken art,


My favorite line was:
soothing thirsted soil and tear-starved heart.

Great writing!
Dot
40
40
Review of Ancestors  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Amy,
your imagery was outstanding, and the poem had a nice
rhythm to it.

For me, it was fine until I got to this part:
they danced delight around the Creole sons and fathers
hanging dead

I guess the stark contrast of a hanging to the beautiful poetic descriptions of the natural environment preceding it sort of surprised me.

Maybe if you had added a line or two that prepared the reader better of what to expect later, it might not have caught me unawares. For example:

where steaming lakes of old-growth cypress
harbor alligator homes,
where justice takes what belongs to it
and some folk shed their tears, while others
danced delight around the Creole sons and fathers hanging dead

Just a suggestion.
Hope this helped!
Dot

41
41
Review of Sensory Words  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Vivian,
again, well done. This goes very well with the other two parts you've written for this poetry course.

Just one suggestion - could you add an exercise here
for the student to write a poem using the sensory words? You know, learning by doing...
Good job!
Dot
42
42
Rated: E | (5.0)
Vivian,
this was great! I hope you don't mind, but I printed
it out. I liked the examples you gave in this one.
Only one thing, if you had the names of the poets/titles next to the examples, that would be nice.
In case someone wanted to look them up...
Thanks for sharing this!
Dot
43
43
Review of What is Poetry?  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Vivian,
Very nice and informative! It was organized and
it appears you did your research by using quotes from different poets.

Below are my suggestions:

You wrote:
1. Poetry involves emotion, is full of sentiment and passion. The emotions a scene, an experience, an attachment evoked in the writer are transformed into words.

The second sentence is missing something. Did you mean
to say:
The emotions: a scene, an experience, an attachment evoked in the writer are transformed into words.


Overall, I found this interesting to read, and would
suggest that you use some examples of poetry to go with each pointer. Examples always worked for me in
school.

Hope this helped, and good luck!
Dot

44
44
Review of White Lace  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I liked reading this story. I could picture the wedding dress shop and the feelings being evoked from the characters.

Below are my suggestions:

1) You wrote:
I can do this, she silently insisted. Even if Mom doesn’t have time, I can do this.

It might be better to say her mother isn't there than to say her mother doesn't have time:
I can do this, she silently insisted. Even if Mom isn't here, I can do this.

This fact helps the reader know up front that her mother's absence is a major factor in her feelings.

2) You wrote:
“Let’s ask her if she wants to look any more today or if she wants to have lunch and go home.” Karri moved to Trina’s side, touching the taller woman’s shoulder. “Trina, do you want to leave, have lunch, and forget shopping today?”

Here, I felt you could streamline this more. It's sort of redundant. Maybe remove the first sentence:
Karri moved to Trina’s side, touching the taller woman’s shoulder. “Trina, do you want to leave, have lunch, and forget shopping today?”

3)You wrote:
Her eyes never leaving the tapping, twirling spoon, Trina answered, “I want a more traditional gown than I seen so far.

I think you meant:
Her eyes never leaving the tapping, twirling spoon, Trina answered, “I want a more traditional gown than I have seen so far.

4) You wrote:
Trina gasped before starting to rummage through the dozen or so dresses.

Trina's gasping isn't explained. Did she gasp because she was pleased, or because of the number of dresses?
Also, the word gasping somehow doesn't fit here. You also use it a few sentences later, and explained it well there:

The sales clerk gasped, “You do look beautiful. That dress looks like it was made for you.”

5)You wrote:
“My son will think you make the dress look gorgeous,” Marie replied.

For some reason, I expected her to say:
“My son will think you make any dress look gorgeous,” Marie replied.

This implies that her son is so in love with her, that she would look gorgeous in any dress.

6)You wrote:
After lunch, the three women returned to the bridal shop. When they entered this time, a saleswoman greeted them. “May I help you with something?”

“This young lady,” Marie nodded toward Trina, “wants a more traditional dress than the ones displayed or on the racks here.”

“Oh, we have some old-fashioned types toward the back. If you’ll follow me, we’ll look there.” The clerk led them to the rear of the shop, where she pointed to a rack of billowing wedding gowns, many lace-covered satin.

I felt this also could be more streamlined. The reader already knows Trina wants a traditional wedding dress, so you don't need to repeat it in the dialogue to the saleswoman. Here is my version:

After lunch, the three women returned to the bridal shop and asked the sales clerk to see the traditional dresses.

“The old-fashioned types are in the back,” said the sales clerk, leading them to the rear of the shop, where she pointed to a rack of billowing wedding gowns, many lace-covered satin.


Overall, I felt the beginning was very detailed in the wedding shop. And the part about Trina's parent's was short. I'd like to see more development of the characters of Trina's parents. They sound like self-centered people. Play that out. Make the reader feel what Trina is feeling - that her parents don't care about her.

Hope this helped!
Dot
45
45
Review of The Last Unicorn  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
What a fascinating story! I would have liked to have
read more!

Below are my suggestions:

1)You wrote:
Man, embolden by greed for the horn, caused among unicorns untold bloodshed.

I think you meant:
Man, emboldened by greed for the horn, caused among unicorns untold bloodshed.

2) You wrote:
Over the centuries the number of these peaceful creatures fell from relentless slaughter at the hand of Man until eventually it became the rarest of animals, with continued hunting to spell
its very extinction. Still Man killed unicorns with no regret…

This was an excruciatingly long sentence. I would
suggest you cut it into two/three sentences.

For example:
Over the centuries, the number of these peaceful creatures fell. Relentlessly slaughtered at the hand of Man, they eventually became the rarest of animals. Continued hunting spelled its very extinction. Still Man killed unicorns with no regret…

Also, the stanza that follows it is abrupt. For the first three stanzas, you write in past tense, then suddenly you zoom into present tense - and on an individual basis. It would be nice to have a transitory passage, like a sentence that brings these two together.

For example:
Man killed unicorns with no regret,
Picture one such scene...

Exceptional story. I particularly liked the ending.
Keep on writing!
Dot
46
46
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your story was delightful to read. It's not easy
to go through what you did (encephalitis, job loss) and
be able to bounce back like that.

I also liked the pearls of wisdom you received in your new line of work. Sharing it with others (publishing it) was a brilliant idea!

Just a few suggestions below:
1) You wrote:
After a successful 30 year career in the advertising business as an art director and a complete full life with my kids all grown up and gone.

This is your opening sentence and its important to make a first good impression. Starting it with "After" sort of throws it off. Maybe you could change it to:
I had a successful 30 year career in the advertising business as an art director, and a complete full life with my kids all grown up and gone.

2) Throughout your work, you need to go back and check for punctuation and long sentences.

For example, you wrote:
After I awoke the nurses jokingly called me the Lazzeraz Man since 2 out of 3 patients with encephalitis die and the one of the three that does survive would most likely have sever brain damage, after being in an unconscious state for several months they had me pegged as a goner.

This could read better if changed to:

After I awoke, the nurses jokingly called me the Lazzeraz Man. This was because two out of three patients with encephalitis die, while one out of three that does survive would most likely have severe brain damage. After being in an unconscious state for several months, they had me pegged as a goner.

I liked your "Transportainer of Palm Beach" line.
Good luck with your writing!
Dot
47
47
Review of Common Chords  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
winklett,
this was a superb piece of art!

Each time I read it, I felt so much pleasure, that I had to read it again! The magnificent comparison with a musical concert was quite creative. I particularly
liked the transition from Ode to Joy into a Requiem.
Sigh, this was better than chocolate.
dot
48
48
Review of Common Chords  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was an interesting poem to read, yet I admit,
after reading it several times, I still found it somewhat confusing.

1) You wrote:
The racecourse floor is
soft as moss - but clump dislodged
blinds rider, snapping string on
stallion's instrument of speed.

How does clump dislodged blind the rider? Did the clump fly in his eyes? And what do the next words mean in the stanza?

2) You wrote:
The grandstand gaping at
his sudden stumble, his seeming slumber

If I read this correctly, the horse stumbled and
fell. However, "his seeming slumber" didn't fit
somehow after that. It was too soft an approach
after the sudden stumble before it.

I liked the ending!
dot
49
49
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Viv,
I really liked the your graphic detail of what goes on
during a war. Also, the relationship of the colonel and his two sons, revealed at the end of the story, was fantastic!

Below are my suggestions/comments:

1) You wrote:
"The bomber squadron does have one the of Mighty Blasters."

I think you meant:
"The bomber squadron does have one of the Mighty
Blasters."

2) You wrote:
"Look, all we can do is get ready and hope the spooks ignore us tonight. Everyone going to need to be below ground.

I think you meant:
"Look, all we can do is get ready and hope the spooks ignore us tonight. Everyone is going to need to be below ground.

3)You wrote:
Outside a second sun for the day bloomed in the sky above the village.

If I'm correct, this was probably the bomb implosion that they had prepared for and which interrupted the colonel from his taping. Because it is such an impressive/aggressive event, using words like second sun, and bloomed, sort of doesn't add to the intensity of the event.

I would replace that sentence with this:

A mighty wind roared in all directions, sweeping across the military camp. The tarps flapped and buckled, causing them to be stripped from the holes they covered.


4) You wrote:
The tarps been partially torn from their hiding place, and the heavy tent had disappeared before the gale.

You probably meant:
The tarps had been partially torn from their hiding place, and the heavy tent had disappeared before the gale.

5)You wrote:
Men curled in balls or grasping one another shook as they raised their eyes toward the midnight black sky above. Stars twinkled the answer to their prayers.

Somehow the first sentence didn't really add to the
story. However, the last sentence seemed so appropriate to end the story with. After the paragraph where the father and two sons hugged, you can say:

Captain Kyle Morris hugged his father and his brother, rejoicing not only in their deliverance, but also in the reunification of his family. Stars twinkled overhead. The answer to their prayers had been met.

Very good writing!
dot
50
50
Review of The Beggar  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Harry,
this was a great story and rings so true!
I tend to be like you, though.

1) You wrote:

My friend snapped, "Save it!". I asked, "What's the big deal?"

Wouldn't it be better if you separated the dialogue
so that it reads more smoothly:

My friend snapped, "Save it!".
I asked, "What's the big deal?"

2) You wrote:
Driving away, I felt good inside, my gesture giving my spirits quite a lift.
"You know, we really should help out people like that a whole lot more."
"Look behind you". Turning, I saw the beggar hurrying inside the liquor store.

Again, it would read better if you separated the dialogue and also the last line to read:

Driving away, I felt good inside, my gesture giving my spirits quite a lift.

"You know, we really should help out people like that a whole lot more," I said.

"Look behind you."

Turning, I saw the beggar hurrying inside the liquor store.


Yesterday I was in Washington, D.C. and parked my car when a beggar approached me, asking for money. I didn't give him anything (I usually check things out first). When I returned an hour later, he was sitting on the sidewalk, looking very pathetic. Again, he
asked for money. I passed him and went into my car.
Mind you, it's not an easy decision in Washington to
be giving money left and right (lots of these types around). But, as I was leaving, I rolled down my window, honked the horn, and he came up to the window and said "God bless you!" as I gave him money. There were tears in my eyes as I left. Somehow I felt I did
the right thing.

dot
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