I really like this. It is honest and fulfilling. Given an image of all of them and those yet to be in the frame.
It's touching and personal to every reader. Making me want to look at my own family portrait.
The only thing I would say is that claiming photographs charge outrageous prices may be a little too strong. I would suggest saying that it was worth the high price for generations of memories.
Wow, this is an incredible, informative chapter. I was compelled to keep reading, despite that biographies are usually not my cup of tea. This however, I really did like.
There are a few grammar and spelling errors; you need to read through and check capital letters, there are a few random capital letters, and So needs a comma after it but aside from that I found it fluid and inticing.
W. D. Wilcox,
I love the imagery you have given here, the only thing that made me stumble as I was reading was this paragraph;
"She spun around then, in the opposite direction, as her entrails were jerked brutally from behind, and then made a weak, gagging sound as the last of her guts tore free."
I would suggest tweaking it just a little; "She spun around in the opposite direction as her entrails were jerked were jerked brutally from behind, she made a weak gagging sound, as the last of her guts tore free."
However, the description is incredible and really pushed me to want more, will be getting the full story.
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