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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mackencheese
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14 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Disembodied  
Review by Pencil Lead
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Interesting and unique take on the disembodied. I must admit I have a weakness for anything supernatural and your piece was pretty well written with an awesome array of vocabulary. If I may, here are just a few suggestions to smooth out a couple bumps in your flow.
"Her father died a week later of natural causes.-

Cats don’t like us."
This just seems like a very abrupt transition, personally.

"- I rose above the city moving away from their overpowering distraction.

Rising above the chaos,"
This is a bit monotonous.

"She reminded me of a bunny cowering in the grass knowing that the fox was just on the over side of the tall grass."
Using grass twice seems repetitive.

Anyway, just what I caught. As a whole, great piece of work! Keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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2
Review of A Shell  
Review by Pencil Lead
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this VERY much!!! It opens your eyes to reality. I don't even like peotry, but I enjoyed this.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mackencheese