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Review by mfsalminen
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
The second sentence of the second paragraph lies flat due to the use of "on" twice. Imagery of the sentence, following, is very good. Starting with sentence stating, "He always saw himself lying on one of those plates the humans put their food on" you begin six successive sentences with prepositions, in the following order, He, He, It, His, She, She. Try to spice up your writing with more variety of word choices to begin your sentences.

Apart from minor details, which I critiqued already, the story is imaginative and funny. Do character sketches for Vittles and the supporting cast, and try to make a short story or novella out of it. This lovely snapshot of a story could become something quite valuable with some work.
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