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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mindyh79
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Public Reviews
Review of Shannon's Gift  
Review by Mindyh79
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was very well written! As a reader, I could actually feel the emotion. I don't want to nitpick, but there are a couple of things that would make this perfect overall.

I know daddy - Capitalize Daddy since used as a name

him since he didnt seem to be a danger - apostrophe in didn't

Leaving the doll she had worked so hard to benefit a complete stranger - add "for" after hard makes it easier to follow

Shannon say it - change say to saw

a rather remarkable little girl, make a rather remarkable gesture - change make to made

I thought this was a wonderful story, hope you find this review helpful.
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