I enjoyed your story and you nicely portrayed Anna's struggle to remember who she was. Just a couple of comments as a reader. Maybe in the opening paragraph, you can articulate her fear of the hotel or that she knows the hotel. I got the impression she was uneasy because she was unsure of her relationship with Joe, but maybe it was both. Also, I got a little confused in the dialog in the woods start with. ‘You remember her. Don’t you.’ I wasn't sure who was speaking. Maybe add a voice tag to clarify, that's all.
Apart, from that, it flowed well and I enjoyed the concept. Great Job!
Excellent story and well told! I could hear two distinct voices, The main character's relaxed narration and then a separate crisper narration voice when he was writing the story.
I enjoyed the tension you created. The main character's fear was well described with all the senses making me feel the fear he rightfully felt.
I liked that. It throws me back to my childhood when I would have done the same thing. I like how you portray the closeness in their relationship "they have a way of knowing what each other was thinking". The delivery is simple and direct and it suits the story you're telling
Excellent story. Told well, with a good twist at the end. I felt as though I was in the sheriff's car watching the man drunkenly stumble around. Like the sheriff, I too was fooled.
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