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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mzsnowleopard
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9 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Kitty Kitten  
Review by MzSnowleopard
Rated: E | (5.0)
Kittens are absolutely wonderful and wondrous, aren't they? I love how this poem depicts a kitten curious about the world. And the picture is a purrfect fit. Well done.
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Review by MzSnowleopard
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think that this is a great idea, even if you don't or didn't enter the contest. As writers we should be doing all we can to encourage ourselves, to inspire, and uplift our own spirits. Who better to understand US than ourselves?

Thank you Story Mistress for this idea, and making it a contest to boot. Some people feel the need to have that extra oomph to get things done. It's that challenging, that competitive spirit in them. They have to have it.

I am not such a person. I could list a few reason but as the saying goes one person's reason is another person's excuse. So I linger in the shadows, lurking, watching to see what comes up. I am after all curious and love to see what's produced.

I have read the description of many contests and challenges. A lot of them have been thought provoking. This one is inspiring. I was reminded of this letter I once wrote to myself from the perspective of a primary character. I run across it now and then and read through it. To this day I hear Lynn's voice, not mine, in those words of encouragement.

IMO - people should give this a try whether they shoot for a contest or not.

Thanks Mistress,
for the site, the words, and all you do.
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for entry "Prologue
Review by MzSnowleopard
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please say there's more to this story. Being a fan of the legend of Atlantis, the title caught my attention. So, naturally I dove in.

You left me wondering if the drug will kill Marcus or simply knock him out for a time, long enough, for Marcus to miss the event.

I have to say up front, I'm not fond of killing characters in the first few pages. So, I'm hoping he's simply drugged out.

That said, there's a story here. What few words you have inspired a full scenario in my mind. This is not easy to do. Keep writing and please keep me posted on your progress. I want to know more.

On to the technical issues. I see the same problem that I had with tenses. I can't count how many teachers, mentors, and fellow writers have proverbially smacked my hands for over using gerunds ( words ending in ING and LY). There's no hard rule that says never use them. Still, it's advised to use them as little as possible.

About this being a prologue- why not take it all out and make it a full chapter? Flesh it out and use it as chapter one to set the story.

In closing, I would like to recommend a book. I share this only with fellow writers who's script has caught my imagination. Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, 2nd Edition: How to Edit Yourself Into Print Amazon link: https://tinyurl.com/y9jqr7er

This book has helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. I hope you get as much out of it, if not more.

Best of luck with this. I look forward to reading more and seeing how this story unfolds.
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Review of Just Me  
Review by MzSnowleopard
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Reggie,

I like this. It's simple.

Your poem invoked a lot of memories for me. I was the 3rd of 3 kids adopted by my Grandparents. This poem reflects how I felt growing up. I felt like I was one child too many, the extra mouth. And my sister was the important one, the wanted one. To see your words makes me feel that I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

Thank you for sharing this. keep writing, keep sharing.
I look forward to reading more from you.
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Review by MzSnowleopard
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for sharing this. The content is informative, helpful, and concise. As some one who is about to write her first query letter, I'm grateful for this being here.
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Review by MzSnowleopard
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is a heartwarming story. It does need some more details. What breed of parrot is Hannah? What kind is Toeksie? Some anecdotes of their interactions would help. What was their best day together and or their worst?

The only "oops" I saw was the date you returned hannah "11/01/2014". Did you mean 2013?

Just y 2 cents
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Review of Name sig  
Review by MzSnowleopard
Rated: E | (4.0)
LOL awe, that's adorbale
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