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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/neilclair13
Review Requests: ON
9 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I look at grammar and spelling. Punctuation errors is something that I also look at. I try my best to give my personal and professional opinions while keeping it fun at the same time.
Favorite Genres
I will review almost anything but mostly fantasy and sci-fi.
Least Favorite Genres
As I said, I will review anything.
Favorite Item Types
I love fiction and poems. I would also review short stories and chapters. I prefer to read anything that I feel is interesting so make sure title is eye-catching.
I will not review...
I won't say, "I will not" but long novels/novellas are not my favorites. I probably would do it if I believe the title is catchy and if I am interested in the story line. School assignments will not be accepted. Also, im not as much interested in documentaries but the end of it all, I would review almost anything.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: E | (3.5)
I can see what you wanted to do, but there are a couple mistakes. For example, your I's aren't capitalized and there are a few grammar and dialogue errors but other than that, it is a fairly good story. I see you just started so no pressure. I am sort of new as well and I was the same. I know you'll get better over time. Enjoy!
2
2
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like it. It has a sort of humor to it. Honestly my favorite part is:
Now that winter has taken on life
I look like an overgrown man in disguise


I see that you are VERY VERY new here. Just a few day old, lol. Im kinda new here as well so, as a welcoming gift, I give you a significant amount of GP (Gift Points) to get you started. If you have any questions, you can ask me or Schnujo. Have an amazing day!!

-Neil Clair


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I think this is sooooo inspirational. I love the topic and the title has a good ring to it: "Death of a Thought. Death of a Thought. DEATH OF A THOUGHT!!!!!"

Sorry about that. My favorite line is of course the first:

"You can murder a thought
when you give it to the world
"

What I get from this poem is that when you have a thought and you HONESTLY think it is an amazing idea, don't just hide away from the world; share it; give it life, a purpose or what the French would say,"Une raison d'être!"

Sorry again, I'm currently working on a French themed novel, so please bare with me *Laugh*. But on a serious note, you murdered the thought when you gave it to the world, meaning it's no longer just a thought, its something extraordinary. And you said:

"You killed it's spirit
When you shared it with the world
"

But I think you killed this poem.

Signing off,
Neil Clair



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello princess, my condolences to you and your love's family. He sounds like he was very special to you. I hope that didn't pass away in suffering. He is in a better place now looking over you. It takes courage to share something so personal to the internet and I am glad you did. It helps to heal. Be strong.

Yours truly,
Lyricite
5
5
Review of Wild Flowers  
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I really liked your poem. It was soothing and I admired how you made it into a free-verse but yet it had sort-of a rhythm which is impressive.

The title corresponds well with the subject of the poem. I came across this by read & review and to be honest, I am intrigued.

Truly,
Lyricite
6
6
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,

I really enjoyed your poem. It was very touching. I was really inspired by the following lines:

"By which this threatened bond of ours will last
A permanent design that nature made"

It really tells the story and captures the reader.
7
7
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Hordari,

I read your poem and it was definitely heart-warming. This poem may hit others closer to home than you imagine. Maybe you are the poet who lost a friend or you are writing in honor of someone else. Maybe the friend had passed away or you both went your separate ways.

I like that you didn't bother to make it rhyme, you just poured it all out which is excellent. I would like to point out a couple punctuation errors and spelling:

In the fourth verse/stanza, I noticed that you spaced before you placed the comma. Next time, try not doing that in case you want to publish your writings. I also noticed this twice in the first verse.

Another thing I'd like to mention (nothing to fuss about) is that in the third line of the third paragraph you said "you" instead of "your." I don't want to make a big deal about it because that is a common typing mistake.

Furthermore, your writing is spectacular and I looking forward to more of your writings.
8
8
Review of Memory  
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jacky, I was (and still am) intrigued by your story. It has so much life and it keeps you going and wanting to finish reading it.
I was hesitant at first, when seeing the first couple sentences but when I read:

{“Keep up!” she said, still angry.}

I was derived and I wondered, "Why is her mother angry?"

This is a good thing. Leaving sort-of cliffhangers keeps your readers interested. When you said:

{At the school door now. “Wait!” I said, gluing my feet to the ground.}

A comma could be placed between Wait and Now; just giving a suggestion...

Other than that, though, it was wonderful, keep it up and I look forward to see you writing more.

A Writing.com user,
Lyricite
9
9
Review by Neil Clair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice. I do have one question, though. Is this specific writing considered a story or an article?

Other than that, this really nice. They say everyday you learn something new and I've learned something new for sure. Surprisingly enough, I did not know what was a pangram...so thank you for educating me and others.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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