*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/newjourney
Review Requests: OFF
11 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Sammie Ham
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Lola,

This kind of broke my heart honestly, because is the mirror of my life. My mom was exactly this way. I always craved having a baby; I just knew I would be the most amazing mom, but unfortunately while my mom had four, I was unable to have just one.

You have my interest with this piece and I would love to see more!

Great job


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
2
2
Review of Twisting Knives  
Review by Sammie Ham
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Wow, Rmkv! I was a little worried about opening your piece to be honest. I usually steer clear of things about any kind of abuse, mostly because I usually get very emotional when I read them. But I did open this. And for that, I am happy.

Let's get this out of the way: Grammatical, I didn't see any big shining issues to fix. I think it flowed beautifully. Your use of white space was perfect and the way you italicized the beckoning of the knife was amazing.

Now, for why I truly loved this piece. I have actually been there in that kind of relationship. Everyone thinks it starts bad, and they think there are these huge red flags everywhere. But that simply isn't the case, and I think you captured that perfectly in this piece. I have been with family members like hers too. And I think you also captured that perfectly.

I think the way you mentioned her miscarriage was respectful enough for someone who has had one (like me) to be able to read it without becoming too emotional, yet blunt enough to know exactly what you were saying.

I kind of feared that she was going to end her own life, which would have been super tragic. I feared that she would be her own victim as well as his. But when I got to the end and I saw that she made Tony pay for his sins- I almost jumped from my bed clapping wildly! (Not that I could in real life kill anyone- I don't think) But I was happy to see that he wouldn't get away with essentially taking her life. That's what any abuse does- whether physical or not- it kills the person receiving it.

I applaud you and this amazing piece!!
3
3
Review of Black silhouette  
Review by Sammie Ham
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Gembolding!

I have to say, I like this! I was just recently reading another poem and I mentioned to the writer that sometimes, less it more. This rings true in your piece as well. It is very well written, and I think it can be easily related to by anyone. I think there is that kind of darkness in everyone's past somewhere and no matter how we hide or run, it's always there. I'm not 100% sure that is the point you were making, but that is what I took from it. It takes real skill for poetry to speak to me in that way. Great job!
4
4
Review by Sammie Ham
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Bdot!

I have to start out with- WOW!

Generally, I stay away from poetry. While I have written poetry in the past and I have enjoyed reading some in the past. I wouldn't say that I am a poetry expert. It's just something I don't like to critique. But I have to say, I loved this.

I feel like where you are at with this in this point in time, is perfect. I honestly would not recommend expanding it. I hope that doesn't come off as rude, but here is why. It is so moving and perfect just the way it is! I got goosebumps reading this! Sometimes, less is more! This poem proves that to me! I could feel a deep emotion within me as I read this; it pulled at things I haven't thought about in years! This is amazing!

Great job!
5
5
Review of The Good Fight  
Review by Sammie Ham
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow- I don't know what to say honestly. I have seen people- some very close to me- get such news, but I have never seen anyone take it so positively. You are much stronger than me, because I don't think I could still find some voice of hope if I were in the same situation. You are a true inspiration. I will keep you in my prayers :)
6
6
Review by Sammie Ham
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hmm- while this wasn't bad by any means, I kind of wish it had been a tad longer. I would have like for Alex and Peter to enjoy Santa a little longer. I'm not sure if you might have felt rushed or maybe this was your intention all along, to have it be this short. It was heartbreaking, and I could feel the desperation of a mother trying to give her children one more good Christmas. As a mom, I know the feeling of trying to make everything perfect for the little ones. Again, it wasn't bad, and I don't mean to offend. It felt just maybe a little lacking.
7
7
Review by Sammie Ham
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I don't personally feel like these two chapters are boring at all! I like the way you have set up the characters as well as the environment around them. Yet you still leave enough out to make me what to read more. I would like to know more about Maple Grove. I want to know what exactly makes the people in the town weirder than others. It was pretty easy for me to visualize what exactly What Vince and Judd looked like. I do hope there is more about them later on! I also like how you are leading up to the creepy, jumpy stuff. I honestly get bored when there is too much too fast! Great job!!
7 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/newjourney