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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nursescorned
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7 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by TL
Rated: E | (4.5)
A fun story exploring understanding and friendship. I liked the setting, sounds like a fun place! My advice here would be to “show” it more, describe the setting, the stage where the performers put on their acts, are there curtains on the stage? What is the lighting like? Does it smell of candy floss? A bit of description can help the reader really immerse themselves into the story ☺️ I look forward to reading more of your work!
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Review of The Cat  
Review by TL
Rated: E | (4.5)
A heartfelt poem about a much loved pet. Clearly he wasn’t to everyone’s taste but that’s ok, just like humans, pets have their own personalities and that’s what makes them so great! Really wasn’t expecting that ending though! Nice to see a bit of humour in there (you were joking, right?!) 😀
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Review of Broken Crayons  
Review by TL
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, this is one of the best poems I’ve ever read. So atmospheric and emotional. So very sad. The symbolism of the broken crayons really capture the scene of “there one minute, gone the next”, heartbreak and memories. Very nicely done and I hope to read more of your work.
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Review of A Simple Life  
Review by TL
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like how you describe the simple life but make it clear that you're happy with how things are. Too many people focus on money and luxuries and not enough attention is given to the small things that make us happy. The part about the plumbing at the end is a nice tough because no matter how happy we are with a simple life, one still needs basic comfort!
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Review of Breaking Yoke  
Review by TL
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An amusing, rather sinister tint on a children's nursery rhyme whilst at the same time, adding a gruesome view of an everyday activity such as boiling an egg! I liked the inclusion of the kings men who, in the original story were trying to help Humpy, in this scenario they're the ones who killed him. Good work!
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Review of Move Along Please  
Review by TL
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I can relate to this! Some people are only interested in their own obsessions and have no time for anyone else's thoughts. I like the way you painted the scene, two people forced into a situation together, one excitedly rambling on about his obsession and the other losing the will to live. I found your "things I'd rather be doing" funny, adding humour to an otherwise dire situation and the closing paragraph basically says it all. Once you talk about something else, he doesn't want to know.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nursescorned