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4,604 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
In each review, I aim to tell you what I liked best first. Second, I will give you some suggestions, if I think they are needed. I will give you some pointers for grammar or spelling if needed, but if the whole story is in need of grammar and spelling fixes, I will only give you 1-2 examples.
Favorite Genres
Any rating and genre is fine.
Favorite Item Types
You can ask me for reviews for short stories up to 2,000 words. First drafts with an ending are fine.
Least Favorite Item Types
I have no clue how to judge if your poetry is any good.
I will not review...
Do not ask me to review unfinished drafts without an attempt at an ending. Do not ask me to review anything with violence toward children or women. For each of those events, I will stop reading, rate 1 star, and you will forfeit your gift points. That is the contract you enter into if you request a review from me.
Public Reviews
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Review of Zombie Graveyard  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Bobby Lou Stevenson , thank you for your entry into the 2021 round of

"Not So Scary Halloween Contest




This is a fun story. I don't usually gravitate toward zombies when I choose my reading or watching choices, but your story invited me into a completely different zombie experience. I truly enjoyed this little story. Except for Jerry Lee, whose life has been turned into endless years of waiting for Halloween to collect candy for his zombie overlord, nobody was harmed. And what's the harm in trick or treating?

Edited to perfecting, this short story is highly entertaining and leaves me with a smile in the end. Well done!

Thank you again for entering.
Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army
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Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a "The WDC Angel Army review.

Hello Nedenezer Scrooge


It is actually amazing how long names stay around when they are carved into stone. Just think of the Egyptian pyramids that kept words over thousands of years. I don't go to cemeteries very often, but it sure is always impressive to see the names and ages of the people who are resting there.

Nice little poem that, although it deals with death, is actually sweet and uplifting.

Annette
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Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a "The WDC Angel Army review.

Hello Sherasi


I can feel how tired you are in this poem. It's mostly a collection of words, but they way you put them together really drives home the level of exhaustion.

It's good to put feelings into words. Sometimes, letting it out can help. In any case, you are not alone in those feelings.

Annette
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Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Like you, a lot of my interactions with other people happen online. Not only do I spend a fair amount of time here on Writing.Com, I also work over the internet and all conversations I have with my co-workers happen in a discussion forum or over email. That makes it hard to really get to know them.

I agree that hanging out in places like coffee shops for the purpose of people watching can be a good idea. Except, right now, people are not really lingering in those places. Mostly, I find public places to be more edgy and people are more impatient than ever with each other.

For now, it might be a good idea to construct characters from imagination and memory. Maybe even watching TV could help. Not so-called reality TV, but scripted shows where characters have been given character traits by writers who (hopefully) did their due diligence in creating those characters.

Annette
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5
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a "The WDC Angel Army review.

Hello Clear Diamond


These are great! Although I have to say that the first c-note with the message that your cat died is a little sad. Also, since these are supposed to be sent as greetings to other members, it's hard to want to send that one. Think about it this way: If I sent the c-note about the dead cat to Bill, Bill will think my cat died. In reality, your cat died.
Of course, you can put anything you want into c-notes. Funny, quirky, thought-provoking, even sad is totally and 100% okay. At the same time, those notes have to be somewhat generic enough. Your first c-note says, "This was my cat who died." Instead of this message, that feels very personal, you could write something more neutral that is a basic greeting and then add a line that the cat in the picture was Clear Diamond's cat who lived a full life.

Annette
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Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Impressive!

Thank you for making this list. I look at it with a laughing and a crying eye.

I came here to write, but ended up spending hours finding trinkets.

I'm obviously pretty good at it too. Now if we could get Itchybarn to set all of his trinkets to unlimited collection, that would be great.

Congratulations again for having the most ever collected trinket.
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Review of Rainbow Teardrops  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a "The WDC Angel Army review.

Hello Rhymer Reisen


I found this in your newsfeed. I had seen you post things before, but was always too busy to stop in and read & review. Today was finally the day.

This piece is perfection. I do NOT say this lightly. It is very hard to get me to truly like what others write. You, Sir, have created here a scene as vivid and heartwrenching as Hans Christian Andersen's "Little Matchstick Girl."

There will be those who will tell you to take out adverbs. Don't. Every word and every sentence is where it should be.

Again, and I can't stress this enough, this is not a non-critical review. Your piece has nothing to criticize. No words are misspelled. No punctuation is out of place. And the emotions depicted jump off the page. While I give five stars to a lot of things because I don't care about the discussions that ensue when I give fewer stars, you can check my public reviews, which usually include some question or some suggestion to make a piece better. I've got nothing. This is what professional writing looks like.

Write on!

Annette
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Whack!  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Party* This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*


Hahahahaaaa. That was so funny! First of all, the rivalry. Jenny's thoughts were so on the spot. You are so right that many kids don't know American classics. When my middle son was in third grade, the teacher asked a simple trivia question. I think it was about the Peanuts. You know, Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, and the gang. My son was the only one in a whole class of kids who even knew what the teacher was talking about. *FacePalm* And the Peanuts are not for adults. They're for all ages.

I also agree how the names for sports are weird. Shuttlecock, pickle ball, football (American football that is played by hand) *FacePalm* and more.

Great read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Odd O'blography  
for entry "Special Day Times Two
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Party* This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*


You must have first hand experience with children's birthday parties. This was one wild ride. I could see all of it clearly. I also had some flashbacks to those sugar-high birthday parties for my sons. Because I had a small apartment when they were young, I used to take the kids to places where the party was hosted by someone else. Go karts, laser tag, arcade games, cake and pizza. Those kind of places. Ah, the memories. Oh no. I have two more 21st birthdays coming at me. My oldest son turned 21 in the middle of the quarantine, so we went to a restaurant that was selling long drinks in ball jars for take out. Ha!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Party* This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*


This was a fun story of winning so much that the casino has had it with the narrator and closes the table down. And then at the end, when the narrator bought half the shares in a hot "eat in the darkness" restaurant, that was really over the top. The only thing that made me sad was that she left her friends behind. I know she wanted a different vacation in the first place, but it seems to be that she won enough to have a grand trip with her friends.

Fun, colorful story to read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Party* This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*


What a harrowing tale. You father must have been a handful on his honeymoon. I hope after nearly dying on that coral, he chilled out and let your mom have a vacation also. Because being out and about with a man who doesn't know how to eat or how to stay safe is work, not fun.

Good for him she obviously had a sense of humor to stay with him for her whole life.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Marla  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Party* This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*


This was a good 21st birthday story. It was full of action and life. The parts with Marla were the most lively. In the past and at the party. There was a lot of emotion that really pulled me into the story and the characters. I was glad that the first person narrator found a way to make a choice in the end that was both good for his future with the woman he really liked - while not putting Marla down either.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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13
Review of Odd O'blography  
for entry "Apocalypse Mild
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Party* This is a review to celebrate Writing.Com's 21st Birthday with "All Grown Up *Party*


This is some dystopian version of a future that the world could be headed toward. Learning over screens is already a world-wide phenomenon. Controlling the narrative of history has always been the attempt of the rules. Whether present day reporting or white washing the past. Fluid video learning like you describe here even makes it so that students can be presented with new versions of the truth that the government wants them to learn all the time.

Great job painting this apocalyptic scenario.

If you ever go in to change/edit, see if you can make the part of what the Comity stands for and how they do it a little more clear. It was hard to follow what the Comity's goals were and how they went against the Preservationist's goals. Also, the sentence about freedom equaling slavery could be made simpler or more punchy.

Thank you for taking part in this year's Writing.Com birthday festivities. Please come again to "All Grown Up for daily prizes and the Grand Prize.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello PureSciFi ,

I am one of the official judges for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest and here to review your entry in response to Music Prompt for July 2021: "One Less Day (Dying Young)"

Did your entry meet the prompt?


You have the words about dying young in the story, but I am not sure the story supports the prompt. What I mean by that is that the story is not about dying or youth. It's about something else entirely

Spelling, grammar, and overall presentation:


I like the nice, large font you chose. It makes the text easy to read.

There are some issues with sentence structure and spelling. I've made a couple of notes here.

Once they are connected, Shuttle six-three Controller Kianon gets out of his chair in Control Central. No need for a new sentence here. The part after 'and' is not a complete sentence. And heads down a long corridor that goes from he used to be to And this part can use some smoothing. What is he used to be to? Power Control.

Kianon taps his name on his shoulder. shoulder pad? shoulder ...? I am not sure what I am looking at here.

My personal opinion:


This text does not feel like a short story. It feels like a chapter out of something a lot bigger. The characters are all well fleshed out and they interact in natural ways with each other.

The ending is not an ending, it's in the most literal sense: a cliffhanger. I neither know what will happen to Tierra nor do I know what Yaick is. I can't tell if it is the name of a planet or a forest or something else.

The story feels like there are too many details that don't drive the plot forward. I never know what is going on with Tierra. There are too many space ships, storms, Health Helpers, people ... in a nutshell, there is too much going on for too little actual story happening.

Best wishes for your writing. Annette


Want to try again? Check out: "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest
15
15
Review of Teapot  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Thankful Sonali Done 30 DBC! ,

I am one of the official judges for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest and here to review your entry in response to Music Prompt for July 2021: "One Less Day (Dying Young)"

Did your entry meet the prompt?


Yes. I like how you used the phrase several times, but each time you made it a little different. Fitting for the person or object at risk of dying young and having a day less.

Spelling, grammar, and overall presentation:


I really like the big font and the overall presentation. It was easy to read and there were no spelling or grammar mistakes that I would have seen.

My personal opinion:


First of all, I am very happy that this teapot story didn't involve Alice in Wonderland. *Laugh*

It was a fun story to read. It flowed nicely with a fun sort of wisdom that isn't coming from a place of arrogance, but from a life that is being lived well.

Congratulations on winning second place and best wishes for your writing. Annette


Want to try again? Check out: "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest
16
16
Review of Chapters  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Graywriter ,

I am one of the official judges for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest and here to review your entry in response to Music Prompt for July 2021: "One Less Day (Dying Young)"

Did your entry meet the prompt?


Your entry met the prompt of dying young.

Spelling, grammar, and overall presentation:


Overall, your story was well edited with no mistakes, but I have one question.

I'm in seconds from the Sally Ann. What is the Sally Ann? Is it a different way of saying Salvation Army? Or is it a person and there shouldn't be "the" in that sentence?

My personal opinion:


This was a good take on the prompt. I like how meeting a girl who has even less than him makes Evan reconsider his options. The story ends with him still sitting on that girder and still tied to his cinder blocks. It gives hope, but also gives the reader to decide that Evan's problems are too big for him. There is nothing wrong with open endings, but in the case of attempted suicide and sitting on a precarious ledge, I would have preferred to find out whether he makes it off the bridge, accidentally slips and dies, or deliberately chooses to end his chapters now.

Congratulations on winning third place and best wishes for your writing. Annette


Want to try again? Check out: "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest
17
17
Review of Divergence  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a "The WDC Angel Army review.

Hello Jeff


You are one of my *Burstv* purple case reviews for the "*BurstR*JULY CHALLENGE! Credited 7/30"  .

Death at every corner in this story! *Shock* I was so glad when Luke had escaped the guillotine, but then, if him and Diane hadn't wandered off, they might be crushed by rocks.

Where is that castle? In California? The places in Europe that would have guillotines don't have earthquakes that strong. My grandmother, who lives about in the middle on the west side of France told me there was an earthquake once that kind of made the plates clink in the cabinets, but nothing worse.

In any case, that was a very dangerous field trip.

Annette
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18
18
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: XGC | (3.0)
Hello dark-world


I found this in the Read & Review function of the site. It is pretty wild. Your announcement in the intro line beneath the title does not really come full circle. The part about suicide and gore isn't quite there. As a matter of fact, as of now, the story only tells me that there is something terrible happening with the sun, but keeping the blinds closed seems to fend that off.

Have you watched Love, Death & and Robots on Netflix? I think some of those stories would be fun for you.

If you go to the left side bar and click on *Gear* My Account and then go to My Activity and choose *Badge* My Achievements, you will find a couple of neat surprises in your email inbox.

Annette
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19
19
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Ha! That is too funny. That should be on a Thanksgiving card for sure. I hope this was for a contest and you won. I like that it includes the order to enjoy, because the cook/host usually has only very little enjoyment for all the work that needs to be done.

Annette
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Review of The Whistler  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon *LeafO*


Hello Erattas


First thing I notice, the font you chose is tiny. It makes it hard to read and can lead to fewer people wanting to read and review. Pump up the font size to at least 3.5 or even 4.

You only chose one genre. You have three to use. You have better chances at having your stories read if you include as many genres as possibly fit your item. You could have added Dark, Death, Drama, Occult, Mythology, Folklore, Paranormal, Supernatural, or Tragedy.

The story was entertaining to read. I liked the backstory of the two brothers and how they have a tradition of camping since they were little. You could add a little more of an explanation why the brothers choose different spots for camping while grandpa always took them to next to the barn. That was an opportunity to explain their behavior.
The ending of the story is very dreamlike. As if you had a nightmare while a train was whistling in the distance. It would be neat to know where that monster comes from, or if it is the first time there. It's mere existence is obviously scary, but all areas have a local lore about some monster or the other. If this one is a newcomer, then even that bit of information would make the story more rich.

A couple of suggestions for editing:

"Sounds like a plan" I said Missing punctuation. This should be: "Sounds like a plan," I said. There are more instances like it. A slow read-over to fix all of those missing end of sentence punctuations and missing commas around speech tags would be great.

my drunken haze. Lay there for a couple of minutes There is a word missing. It should be I lay.

I hope my comments helped you to see the story through the eyes of another.

If you go to the left side bar and click on *Gear* My Account and then go to My Activity and choose *Badge* My Achievements, you will find a couple of neat surprises in your email inbox.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army
21
21
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon *LeafO*


Hello Marie


That person who moves to be next door to the Chocolate Baker is a person after my heart. I firmly believe that chocolate is the fifth food group and sorely under represented on food charts. *Choco*

I liked your little poem for the story it told. It was refreshing to read about someone being attracted to a skill (baking) instead of something romantic.

A couple of suggestions:

In your intro line below the title, you write: A person that loves. I would say a person 'who' loves.

Now the Chocolate Baker, a grand lady[comma] is my neighbor.

If you go to the left side bar and click on *Gear* My Account and then go to My Activity and choose *Badge* My Achievements, you will find a couple of neat surprises in your email inbox.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army
22
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Review of Dylan's Garden  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a "The WDC Angel Army review.

Hello Kurt Philip Behm


I found this in Read & Review and it speaks so much truth that it made me stop to comment.

As a non-poet, I find it so pointless that English classes (any language classes) decided that it is necessary to dissect and explain poems. It has poisoned them to me in the sense that I don't write them and rarely interact with them.
The meaning of a poem is in the words. Anyone who wants to insert anything else is killing to poem at the root. I agree.

Annette
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Review of The Wind's Song  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon *LeafO*


Hello MRMLarsen


Why does nobody else hear the song? From the beginning of the poem and the intro line below the title, it appears the song of change is something universal, there for anyone to feel/experience/hear. Is it because the change will be personal, so the song of change is also personal?

Got me thinking with your poem. Well done.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army
24
24
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon *LeafO*


Hello Rose Lee


I like how uplifting this poem is. It's like one of those messages that really most everyone has to hear every now and then. Our ideas are so many, but the doubts seem to be more, and we end up not following up on our ideas.

Your poem is well presented and of course edited to perfection.

By the way, if you go to the left side bar and click on *Gear* My Account and the choose the *Badge* My Achievements link and click on that, you will find a couple of surprises in your email inbox right after it.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army
25
25
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a "The WDC Angel Army review.

Hello 💙 Carly - Pumpkin Spiced


This is an impressive view of Alice as seen from the top. Of course, my mind is thoroughly infected by imagery from the Disney Alice in Wonderland cartoon movie. That, in turn, works really well for reading this poem and fully seeing the Red Queen's beady eyes. She is such an evil person.
The White Rabbit, mentioned in the second line, is never found. I think that makes sense like the return to the world that is "considered" normal. Because, yes, who decided what is normal anyway?

I wonder why you have periods at some lines, but no other punctuation at all. Poetry does not follow normal grammar rules, but the few periods that are there seem to be a neither here nor there for those rules. Unless, of course, you mean to create even more wondrous chaos through the application of periods. I find the line "Mindless to her ways." could be attached to the one before or the one after. Adding that period throws a wrench into that way of reading it.

Great job at writing this visual poem.

Annette
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