This is interesting, you have a woman drawing a picture and words on a page. The woman has drawn a pictire that she wants to compose for the other woman.
She is able to draw this. Her`work is accurate.
She hands the woman the picture that she has drawn. Her friend is asking her to show her what she has drawn. The drawing is not what is there, but what she wished to draw instead.
You have accomplished quite a bit of work there. Thank you for writing this. Keep up the good.
This is very well written you have drawn us into the realm where this young lady walks. She has seen the damage that was done to her by seeing what mankind will do.
She knows that they will do what they should not do? She wants to caution them about their behaviour her friend is locked away trying to help the mortals do this.
She is afraid of what they learn should they find the document that he has here.
The way that you have written this feels as if you were trying to allow the reader to understand what they have found when they arrive at the space residence.
You are able to allow us to udnerstand these details. The ay thst ypou developed the story seems to feel as if this was just another residency on the planet.
You should allow us to understand what they are doing there. The spaceship arrives there to see what they can find there.
The occupants find a disc that contains an appearance of four other beings there. The planet should not have life on it.
You should heighten our fear upon finding this. Who were these people, what were they doing here? Why hadn't anyone mentioned that these people were here.
Why did they not find any other signs that they were here.
It is a good ending, but I want more data about the four beings whom they have found evidence of.
This poem should show that you are worthy of being loved and understood. We all are worthy of being here on this planet.
You are worthy of being here. You have some good in you you whouls be ab;le to find your worth. The other people who you are writting about does not see your worth.
Look at the beauty that is there within you. Your composition is beautiful. That you have written here. look within you, see the beauty that is there within your soul/
This is fantastic. The way you have brought the elf to pursue the insect. The way that you have heightened the tension as he finds that he is alone in this pursuit. You might have had him wonder where the others were in this pursuit.
It has burst through the woods to come across an elven village when the mc sees it charge into the house. The way you have described it happening there.
The elf is running toward it.
Could I ask you to check out the tower #2350579. Thank you
The ending was interesting. I agree it had some twists and turns I did not see happening> The agent has a choice to go through. The officer who has slayed the dealers and their counterparts. The officer who was to be arrested, did not do this.
She had thrown away the bust, but knew he may stop doing this or so she supposed. When he sent her the medal and asks her to take over his position, she knows why he has done this. She also agrees with what he is saying he has done this for the greater good.
However both he and she knows this would happen. The drugs would still be sold in the cities as it so often has been sold. There really is no way to stop it from happening. She understood his rational as he has done this.
Sorry about failing to continue on in the story. Thank you for reminding me of this npot being done yet. I will get back to it. I appreciate what you have done here.
The character wants to find out about the assassin, but she does not have any leads. She wants to sshadow the people she suspects are responsible for this case to do this on their behalf. She has taken ber holiday stifts to watch the enemy or who she believes are the enemy,
You have been able to allow the reader to wonder as to what is going to happen there. Her friends have been able to draw her attention to him. The people are afraid with them doing this. She knows she could be in danger of them finding out the problems that she will be facing.
I thought the MC was human. Until the second page where you have him spreading his wings, He has been given a sword from the being whose blood was gold. The second page if that is what it is. The three of them are in a house. I feel, that is this traveling way to fast
How did they get into a house. Someone has killed the being with gold blood. The being tells him. That he will always be with him.
The figure who calls out for them to step outside to die, The boy says."He will fight him.
The figure says,"That he has not been harmed by anyone."
Page three the boy kills him,
This story is good. I liked what you have said here. The story holds promise.
the time traveler has some ideas that sound realistic. Your concept of the story is good, you have us wondering as to how he had come up with these ideas that he supposes that the way in which the reader has to think is good. Your question that you have read to us is interesting. I thank you for the information that you have supplied to us. It sounds like you've done a great job of writing this. Thank you for allowing us to know the information.
This is able to allow us to understand the journey that this woman had taken. She was able to walk here with an aid to her. A soldier baring a sword walks with her to protect her from what she may face there. He will guide her to what she is seeking?
He finds themselves in a town where he aranges for her to find a room. That same evening he had bought two horses to carry her and himself on this journey. Your story seems to have come from the bible, great work that you have been able to do these things.
This is good you have brought to the reader something to be impressed with. Great work. I like the description of the wendigo arriving at the gates to the school. The way you have described the ice beginning to crawl up the metal's gate's housing, The frost appeared there as it touched the gate.
You have been able to have us experience what you are saying to the reader. We imaginw what you have decribed to the reader what is happening to it. The way that you have brought this our attention is well done, thank you. For having written this to us.
I like what you have said here. That is what I should do? I am a pantsy setter, which means I fly without a plan in my head. It just appears in my mind and thus it is there. The way you write is different, but the ideas are there with which I write. I will continue to read this in a slow passion so I can remember what you have said here.
This is in regards to your prologue. You have started to tell us, that the main character is depressed. He knows he is a cave, he heard a voice call out his name. He went to findout what was speaking to him. He found a bracelet that is very important to him and the world itself.
He is able to allow the reader to understand these details. You have written here. You have been able to allow the reader to learn these details that you have written here. he knows that he has to do something to help the epeople here protect themslves from what has been happening here.
This is quite a bit of writing you have created to allow us to understand what the girl was feeling toward the death of her family. She has been outside of the family's politics and matters of the house, that she has been away from.
Someone tried to kill her. She has killed the assassin on the grounds of her home. She learns that they were ravens masterful assassin, who would die if they would be caught. She does not know what they have been able to do this. Sehe understands that the empiror has been responsible for this to have occured there.
This story has a bit of tension with them crossing the mirror lake, they want to arrive on the shore. The people were afraid that if their horses hooves cracked the frozen surface. Nothing had done this before, but it could happen..
The person who proposed that they should cross the water had told them this. The way that they have to get across the water of the frozen lake. they have to worry about being seen by the enemy who guards this waterway. This enemy has monsters as his soldiers.
Another person says, Do not call him the king. He is a peasant,there are not soldiers in his control.
this is good. the people fought a battle to stay alive. Their horses fled. The group scaled a tree to avoid being killed by the enemy. They have to heal their wounds and find their horses. They have sent one member of their unit out to do this. They found the horses. They were attempting to get back to what they were going to be doing before this happened to them.
You are able to allow the readers to understand what you have done here, The story is good, allowing us to know their plight. You have a writing a good opening, keep at it. You have been able to allow the readers to see what has happened there. Great work.
This a description of his memory recalled details that has allowed him to recall the love of that he had once. He recalled her death, and the times he spent with her. He wished to find the woman who would make up his life. The way that you have described these details to the reader is very well done. I can imagine him relaxing listening to the music that he had when he met her. The beauty is there. I thank you for writing this to us, your patrons. Thank you, keep at it. You will find her again, love kind sir is something you should always seek to find.
This story is able to allow us to see what the danger is of the a time travellers interest and what we as human's have to learn from it. I think it needs work. There is a person who receives the call. He has been told to call his boss if this happens and it does. He calls his boss to tell him of the danger.
They begin to try to find out who they should talk to about it. I think this would be better if you did something more with it,
Hi
you have given this reader a bit of incite of the dragons and what the person finding the dragon has to expect as he looks at the dragon. The dragon can learn the language of the person who finds him. Will bond with him if he is fed by the person finding it. The dragon may fly, but it may not do this in all cases.
Your information is very well designed to allow us to know what we should do if we find one of them here. The way that you have been able to allow the reader to learn these details is good. I have found it to be any easy read.
This is similar to what you handed me. You should just relax and try to give us some details of the story. You are able to draw a good picture of your characters which is what struggle to do this type of work. You are able to allow us to know these details you are creating for us to know these details. You have a good idea that you wish to present to the reader. Keep at it.
The main character is a human, but who has snakes attached to her body they come out of her back when she is nervous or other emotions appear when this happens.
Her uncle has a snake ay well.
You want to have us fallow along with her, this different. You have to give us, an idea as to what will happen in the story. We don't need the information of the serpents and their mannerisms. It complicates matters emmensely.
Have us know what your story is about. If A happens than B fallows, to c and d.
You have a hell of an idea. It would be a good story. When you are writing a summery try to have us imagine what has happened in the scene, Describe the scene, allow us to see what will happen to the characters.
You have created a means to create your MC and her uncle. Emotional boundaries. Just try and relax and think about what you are doing in writing the story. A figure walks into a room, he sees something he desires. He reaches for it. The floor had begun fall away. The character screams to draw the attention his plight.
definately a place not to visit. I agree with the crew there, I wouldn't go anywhere near that planet. You have showed us what had happened ther. Did the crew desire to get out of the area when they decided to go enter a jump drive there. When they took another look at the planet it was under a doom of radiation from the bombs that fell on them,
They had flown toward a wormhole and found that there was black hole behind it. When they flew away the black hole followed them for a while.
I read this story little while a go, it is better now. That you have changed the ending of the story. It was well done, the way that you have described the realisation that he was a fey. He did not know this, he is surprised that the cat has said that he was what he said.
The lad shouldn't hear her voice any longer. They were out past the region that the cat should have been unable to communicate with him, but he still was able to do this instead of not hearing her speak or her hearing his voice in her head.
beautiful. The way that you have brought this to life is accurate. You have accepted someone to love, who finds you are worth it. Very well written. Your words are true. Love sweet angel love you.
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