*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Get it for
Apple iOS.
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pmcdonagh
Review Requests: ON
68 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
1
1
Review of Love's Desire  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Beautifully written! I could feel the passion and heat in every word. Very much along the lines I like to write.
2
2
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed the reading of this! The play on words and cultures was done very well. It also helps one to understand the diversity of the world we live in and that we are all 1 big family.
3
3
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
I Love all the imagery of children playing and the games that fade from view as we grow older. Beautifully written!
4
4
Review of Writing in Snow  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I love this list! Too many people are not grateful for the small things in life, although it is the small things that make up life. We should be grateful for every breath that we take. That we've been given the chance to love each other. For the beauty in nature that surrounds us every day. These are just a few of the small things that I'm grateful for.
5
5
Review of Be good to you  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this it is very cute! It reminds me of something I always tell my children and others we have to take care of ourselves and love ourselves because we can't give away what we don't have. I believe God is my 1st love, that is just for me. Yet, my 2nd love has to be for myself or I'm really no good to anybody else.
6
6
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this and thought it was very tender. It shows the love that your husband has for you and that you recognize his protection. I also like how you talk about his faith intertwining with yours. Then a beautiful ending walking with God into your future.

The only thing I would change is this verse, "that love is not a four word curse". I would have said love is not a four letter curse only due to the fact that it's not four words. Of course this is only a suggestion. Otherwise I think it is a beautifully written account of the love your husband has for you.
7
7
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
Absolutely loved this. Great rhythm and rhyme also following along with the birthday theme . I especially liked how you involved all the different types of characters in his stories and how they congregated together to celebrate his birthday. Well done! Definitely a winner!
8
8
Review of Fog  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Very well done and intriguing. Great descriptions of the emotional feelings she was going through and of her surrounding area. I enjoyed how the shadows kept slipping in-and-out just beyond the peripheral vision. The great start to a story that could continue on and become a thrilling short story or novel.
9
9
Review of Beauty  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
A wonderful description of the battle in the mind of what a person believes and perceives themself to be as far as the beauty that lies on the outside. If we would only look to the inside and see the beauty that we were born with as with the rose Such misery we place upon ourselves could be diverted. My favorite line is,"Don't let the world change you
You change the world.
A really enjoyable read!
10
10
Review of Survivor  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Outstanding!I found the story line to be riveting and the detail very well described as her personal ordeal unfolded. This is a fantastic start to work that could unfold as a story of mystery and survival that would capture the mind and possibly the heart. I would love to read a continuation of where her story leads, the war that is raging outside and how she finds her courage to survive. Well done!
11
11
Review of Thank You, Lord.  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really love the essence of this poem! It expresses the love and gratitude we all need to give to God for His grace shown to us every day. Everything is by His hand, eternal life, souls saved and gifts given in this life and beyond. Even the trails are a blessing to be thankful for. I was kind of thrown off by the use of capitalization in some reference to God and not in others... although this is the poets prerogative. As a poet myself I understand the rules are a little lose when comes to form :) Great writing and have a Blessed Day!
12
12
Review of Caverns  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This is such a beautiful poem resonating the choices we make and the consequences they can bring. We can all get stuck in the depths of the shadows that burden our soul, of past choices we made. But we also need to look forward, locking them away so that the brightness of the future can shine above it all. Beautifully written thank you for sharing!
13
13
for entry "Venom
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love this! So sorry that it had to be based on a true story of someone violating your private space. You can definitely feel the emotions of having someone intruding upon a space that is sacred for you and leaving you feeling desolate.It followed the prompt well in my opinion!
14
14
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (4.0)
Beautiful words written to the Father, knowing that even though we can not always predict the feelings of others or the situations they're going through, we still keep them in our prayers knowing that God by His power can make any difference when He chooses. Beautiful prayer. thank you for sharing.
15
15
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful and deeply intense description of the cemetery. This is a place where some, as you say, will go to visit. Yet, one day we will all wind up there. Your words bring visualization of the fence with leaves trapped against it, the changing of seasons and even epitaphs help to bring this all into a great picture in the mind. Very much enjoyed this!
16
16
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Payment for Shropshire Sheep package
17
17
Review of Feuille Morté  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful description of the Autumn season. I can feel through your words the falling of the leaves with their colors hitting the ground. Then taken on a guided tour through the feelings and activities of the season. Beautifully done! A very enjoyable read!

Patrick
18
18
Review of Picnic  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
Absolutely love this! It reminds me of when all I could do was take my 2 kids to the dollar store and let them pick out one cheap crapy item off the shelf because it's all I had. But it didn't matter to them, they loved whatever they got because it was coming from their dad. Thank you for writing this it brought back wonderful memories of when I didn't have 2 pennies but that didn't matter because what mattered the most was that my kids were with me.
19
19
Review of In the Beginning  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
Such an absolutely beautiful description of the starting of all that there is and will ever be. The beginning and the end, an eternal circle wrapping around itself birthed from the mouth of God. I love the line, "Cracked the cosmic egg". Such an inspiring piece thank you for sharing!
20
20
Review of The Adversary  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely loved this! You have taken the story of the fall of man and given it in a new perspective, from the eyes of the deceiver. This was a fresh and invigorating read. I look forward to reviewing more of your work when time permits. Very well done!
21
21
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely love this concept, so here is my story for fill in the blank!
Once Upon a Time there was a small dragon, who dreamed of living within the castle walls of the Kingdom outside the forest where he lived. Everyday, he would spread his massive wings and sore high, so not to be seen, staring down into the beautiful courtyard, watching the people as they went about their daily work. One day, the tiny dragon made up his mind it was time to make his presence known. Because of that, a friendship was built with people of the Kingdom, as he vowed to be there protector and guardian. Until finally, the day had come that the king invited the tiny dragon to live within the castle walls, and all his dreams were fulfilled.
22
22
Review of Fighter  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the premise and the feel of the poem.
I'm not an expert on punctuation and perfect form but I have written a lot of poetry so take this as just thoughts from my perspective.

This is how I interpreted what I read:

1. The flow was a little ruff
In the first stanza "knew" should be "know"
I might have written it like this:

Trying to hide inside her pain
a broad smile and talking sane but little did she know herself
Eyes are a mirror to the heart itself

2. In the 1st stanza the first 2 lines rhyme then the 2nd two rhyme
Then you jump to 6 lines rhyming in pairs in the 2nd stanza
The 3rd stanza back to 4 and they don't rhyme.

If you would like to visit my portfolio it might give you an idea of how structure and flow move well in poetry. Like I said I'm no expert so take this or leave it as you would like just trying to be helpful :)

23
23
Review of Love Your Life  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Beautifully written! Wonderful thoughts here on living your life and staying positive. I enjoyed the fact that you used the first letter of each word in the title to express that line. Very uplifting and I enjoyed reading it! Have a wonderful day and be blessed!
24
24
Review of Cranes  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
Living on the Coast in the South I have the opportunity to watch these beautiful birds migrate and come here every summer. Such a beautiful description of their anticipation to take to flight, foregoing whatever they run into to get to their destination. Thank you for this wonderful piece, such an enjoyable read!
Be blessed and keep writing!
25
25
Review of Your life path  
Review by Patrick McDonagh
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful rendering of your destiny that was born within you!
Screaming to be released so you can fulfill your hopes and dreams. It is right before you, you just need to open your eyes and see it to achieve it. Absolutely love this!
40 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 2 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pmcdonagh