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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/polarbear31
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3 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Very nice children's story. I know my kids would enjoy it*Smile*. I saw a few minor grammar errors that might help to improve your story. Just suggestions okay.

expect accept this one was bigger.

I think it was 35mins for them was like 5mins for us.
You should put a space in-between 35 min. and 5 min. Also you don't need the (s) just a period at the end of min. because your abbreviating the word minute. Also the wording is a tad confusing I think it would read better like this:
I think it was 35 min. for them but it was like 5 min. for us

I don’t know all I know is that there ‘time’ goes faster then ours!
You need a comma after I don't know(,)

And you want to know where they put!
I think you forgot to add me at the end of the sentence.

They feed fed me, took me out, and then, went to do there own business.
Feed should be fed and you don't need the comma after then.

Well, she didn’t shoved shove.

I can tell you have a talent for writing as well as telling a story. Good Job and keep writing.

Heather
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