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Review of Childcare  
Review by Mar Prax
Rated: E | (2.5)
First of all, I love this topic! Even though mindsets are changing, I still find that this is one of the most socially acceptable train of thought. Because I am a woman, many people just assume that I'm going to become a parent. This trend is a lot less popular in men. Even from an early age, girls can do the smallest thing and someone will complement on how it makes then motherly while this rarely happens with boys. Or it could also be that I just notice this more because I don't want to have kids. Anyway, I'm getting away from the point. Your essay is lovely and makes a lot of good points. That being said, there are a few mistakes. In your third paragraph I would edit the sentence to look like this: Nature has gifted the same love and affection instincts for childcare to both genders, but a few people are yet to accept it as the truth and come out of the notion that it should only be a woman's responsibility and priority over other things in her life. In the second sentence in the second paragraph I would change it to: A child needs love, affection, and time from both parties. Or ya know, change parties to parents are whatever suits it. Also in the first paragraph I would add a this in front of trend in the first sentence. Afterward I would nix the in in the second sentence. The first sentence in the fourth paragraph is a bit length. I'd replace some commas with periods. Last thing, I noticed you used the Oxford common then didn't. I personally prefer the comma, but it isn't very important. You might want to stay consistent in your use of the comma because it can be confusing when it is only used occasionally.
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