Nicely written and kept me engrossed till the end. But i felt the climax could have been better. Never mind it was nice piece of story. Good luck fella.
Am not that good in giving reviews about poems as am myself a beginner in that field but i liked the way you wrote it and it is first time i have read a poem which doesnt rhyme but it does deliver the message. Keep writing and welcome to the site. Good luck.