I love how you use words that so rarely get to be. I can visualize a cook tasting his own creation and realizing just how extraordinary it is. At parts where you trail of (Joy for this cavity -) it makes me think that maybe this is what the chief or professional food taster is thinking. Overall great poem!
I love how you wrote this poem it is truly relatable to the relationship I'm currently in. I can tell you and this other person are truly in love with one another and I wish you both the best. I also enjoyed how light-hearted it is. Keep writing!
I too feel like I'm trapped inside my mind with little hope of escape. I enjoyed how you described the walls to be 'simple blackness'. No one can really fight darkness it's an abstract sort of thing that only light can fight. Though what's worse is seeing a light but being too far to reach it as you'd written.
I found this poem on read & review. I'm really glad you posted it! I can really imagine the way the boy feels.
I only have a few recommendations. You don't have to capitalize the first word of each line if it's a continuation of a thought. Though if that's your personal preference keep on! My other recommendation is to put a line in between stanzas instead of having it all clustered together.
Other than that though, I love it! Keep writing! I look forward to the future stuff you might post.
Laura grinned. “Methinks he doth protest too much.”
I'm not sure what you meant by looking at that line alone, while it is most likely a typo, you found mine when reading so I figured I'd do you the same favor and pay attention for any on your part.
Other than that I loved your fanfic! I honestly don't know how anyone could read one part and deny themselves the pleasure of reading the others. Please continue to do everyone including yourself the great service of sharing your work.
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