|This story is very emotional and raw. I can feel the hopelessness crushing Versatile as she desperately tries to save the man she loves.
It's a great snapshot depicting the domestic pain felt by those on the sidelines. War truly is hell. You've done a great job showing us that.
Now let's talk about some minor issues I spotted.
You reuse the same words in sentences frequently. I suffer from this as well, but I found that using a thesaurus helps with adding variety.
Take for example the word "said." He said, she said, you said, they said.
With a few changes, you can add flavor. He grumbled, she muttered, you whispered, they shouted.
Go through and read your work out loud, sometimes I find that hearing the words helps to spot some errors you missed before.
Overall, your work shows great promise. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, everyone does! Keep writing, you will learn new ways to show the world your skill :)