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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/russell.james
Review Requests: OFF
11 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Confusion  
Review by russelljjadams
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Love is a mixture of peace and agony, no truer words have been spoken. I'd wager, at the time this was written you were in love, maybe you still are? Either way, I think this captures the many emotions one feels in those early moments of not understanding what it is you're truly feeling and whether or not it will last.
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Review by russelljjadams
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thourougly enjoyed reading this story and at first glance I can't see any glaring issues to bring up to you at all. Everything seems well written and well thought out, no grammar issues; the best I can come up with as a suggestion is the last sentence where you used failing and failed both in the same sentence, but that's not really anything big. Great story and good read, thank you!
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Review by russelljjadams
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is an interesting story, I haven't seen many if at all based on online dating-esque situations. It seems as if this story might touch close to home with you? I know it touches close to home with me! Either way it was a good and interesting read. Thank you!
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Review of Festival Denied  
Review by russelljjadams
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Not a long piece, but you managed - in a very short fashion - to pack a lot of content in a small package.

If there's anything I have an issue with it would be that somewhere in the beginning up to the point she gets angry and pulls out the vial, there seems to be something missing, the escalation seems to happen almost too abruptly - you may have had a word limit though so it may not even matter - but it seems to be something is missing, I can't put a finger on it precisely at the moment though.
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Review of The Collapse (1)  
Review by russelljjadams
Rated: E | (4.0)
These are just my opinions, I don't mean to offend.

I think your writing is good, you're intelligent, no glaring mistakes - but the writing could be much, much better. Most of this story is just telling instead of showing, the writing is a bit passive. With a bit of work, this piece could be an exceptional one.
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