A good description of an emotional scene here. It could be a relative or a police officer vomiting all over the lawn following a murder scene. You can almost taste the chickpea dinner including the garbanzo beans in tomato sauce as he coughed it all up onto the grass while he stared at the corpses. It's a short scene describing one person's emotion and reaction. I like more of a backstory, but this was all that was presented. It was short although the description was incredibly good. You are left with that bad taste in your mouth. Whew!
Thank you for your thoughtful sonnet. I figured the title must be "CHILDREN PLAYING" since it seemed that the word "CHIDREN" was misspelled in the title.
It was striking how the piece begins on a positive upbeat note in the first two verses and then grows a bit darker in the third verse with "It's quite a pity..." in the third verse till the end. Furthermore, reading the last verse seems like it was missing one more sentence since every paragraph before it has two sentences, and the last verse only has one sentence in it. It would be appropriate to end the piece highlighting an advantage of growing up, maturing, or growing older? Just an idea.
Wow, that was an intense read filled with realism and raw emotion. All too often people in law enforcement must go through things like this, when a split-second decision will lead to deadly consequences resulting in a lifetime of pain and guilt. Very well written. Personally, I would love to see more of a story, and I would love to know more about the characters, but I understand that this is just a short scene here. The writing brings out the powerful scene and the pain that Martin is going through. I hope to read more writings by this author.
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