Writer's Cramp Review
Happy, happy morning!
Your Prompt was:
Today, an old Johnny Cash album, called Bitter Tears arrived in my mailbox. One song on this album is about the Seneca, and their dealings with the Kinzua Dam, on the Allegheny River in Warren County, Pennsylvania.
One line out of the song: Cornplanter, can you swim? keeps my mind busy.
Who is Cornplanter? What is his story? Why is he important to the Seneca?
Story or poem.
What I liked most about this piece was the idea of using the prompt for a writing project. Very clever. I liked the way you brought the girl to her decision, too.
Further Corrections & comments:
It confused me when you called her mother Mrs. Then in the next line called her the girl's mother. Am I misreading something? I reread that line, something you don't want to make a reader do, but still came up with the same understanding. You might want to clarify that.
I think the girl was a little casual about the mysterious vision. I liked that she was actually from that tribe, but I think you need a bit more depth there. Also, when you edit, watch those repetitions: sat in the back, sat in silence, etc.
However, I think you did a nice job with this prompt.
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp
S h a a r a
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