Writer's Cramp Review
Happy, happy morning!
Your Prompt was:
From Robert Waltz I thought I was safe. February, my most hated month (and, in a paradox, seemingly the longest one) was over. And then it happened, in rapid succession: The wind picked up outside, cutting off power to my house; I experienced biohazard-level food poisoning; and I spent last night alternating between being too cold and too hot, but hardly sleeping at all. So, for tomorrow, write a story or poem about things getting better from here. (No need to make it about "me," just something like this situation.)
What I liked most about this piece was the futuristic aspects. Great potential for a novel here.
Further Corrections & comments:
We caught it soon enough this version of life support has you trapped between the great beyond and hovering close to earth. (Run-on sentence)
A nurse was at my side sleeping. < This sentence needs works. Do you mean she was in bed with him? Perhaps in a chair nearby?
Gives us more sensory. I liked the sounds of the machines. Does the nurse wear perfume, smells of the hospital? I would imagine there would be some finger tingling, arching of back, legs, etc.
This has lots of potential. I liked what you did with the prompt.
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
Saturday Judge for the Writer's Cramp
S h a a r a
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Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .
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for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.