Writer's Cramp Review
Happy, happy morning!
Your Prompt was:
Many years ago, an alien spaceship landed at the South Pole. As the landing crew disembarked to explore, they were met by Santa, Mrs. Claus and several elves. Write the STORY or POEM.
Very cute. I liked the moral.
Further Corrections & comments:
This was creative, and it had a nice plot, too.
Santa shook his head and went back to his work station along with the elves. They had to get to work because there were many toys to be made and they were behind schedule.
You have used conversation for telling us much of the information, but this sentence is all TELL. You might want to paint a picture: Santa shook his head slowly, sighed deeply, then dragging his feet, headed back to his work area. His eyes peered up at the tower of toys, all unfinished -- a doll without her head, a toy train with no smoke stack, a wooden horse lacking its tail and mane . . . etc. In other words, stop, SHOW, then move on.
I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!
Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp
S h a a r a
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Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .
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for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.