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1
1
Review of Madam President  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Great job! I was rather surprised to see the National Congress of American Indians. I imagined they would have changed the name to First Nation or Native Americans, so I researched. Bravo to you for being right on. It is always good to learn something new.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the fact that you set us up with a FEMALE president. It's about time! Then you added even more spice: Native American and gay. I look forward to your vision of the future, when prejudices are behind us.




I especially enjoyed the way that every obstacle was met with a brilliant plan. Nice thinking there. Is she available to handle Covid 19?


Corrections & comments:

It seemed that the president had enough on her plate with an invasion and a pandemic. Would she really be following through with step three of her obstacles so promptly? But this is a work of fiction, and a short fiction story, so I do understand the necessity for wrapping around all three with immediacy. Well done.

This had smooth writing, a clever plot, and a delightfully intelligent president.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Winner  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Good job! This was a fun read.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the behavior of the star. You showed his attitude quite well.



I especially enjoyed the dinner. How horrible! I'm sure not going to that restaurant.


Corrections & comments:

The food seemed the primary focus for Sheree, which you may have intended, but if she was really infatuated with this singer, wouldn't she have done some mooning over his appearance?

I never SAW him. What was he wearing? What did he smell like -- cologne, aftershave, etc. Did his hair fall down in his eyes? Was his voice raspy or smooth? Did he even smile at her once?

Did you ever use any color in this piece? Oh, yes. The dress was blue and silver. But what about the suit lady, Fernando's outfit, the grapes, etc Color enhances. It often lets us SEE.




I liked the ending, especially when she went to get some FOOD. LOL

The phone bill was outrageous, but wait until she gets the credit card statement! Ouch.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Good job! This was cute.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the longing of the little boy still present in the grown-up.



I felt sad that this man, even with his love for dogs, never did any research about their needs. I think a lot of people fall into that category. Cute=desirable. But only if they can do a heap of adapting.


Corrections & comments:

I don't think the dad knew much about asthma either. It seems like he would have been a bit more knowledgeable about that? How old was Tilly? I am not sure I understood why she couldn't come, but it worked out better that she didn't. The boy is twelve, and a small dog knocks him over? (Although I know an adult who broke her wrist walking her puppy, so I guess it is certainly possible.)

I really felt sorry for this man. I wonder how he's going to resolve the situation. Will he ship the dog back to the kennel or will he adapt to having a young, energetic (and mischievous) dog?) Please tell him about the Dog Whisperer. It's a great show to watch for people with dogs.

One last note: Your paragraphing is a bit strange. You might want to help your readers by double spacing between lines.

But it was a nice story.





I am very glad I got to read it. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of With My Own Money  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Wonderful job! I absolutely loved this story. *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the ending with those precious words from his mother. Lovely.



I especially enjoyed also the way this small boy loved the child he so eagerly took care of. What a sweet relationship. I hope that rich little boy grows up to appreciate Vishnu.


Corrections & comments: Sometimes I run into cultural differences in punctuation. I am an American, and for me, sometimes you overdid the commas.

Example:". . . the money he had received at Diwali , the money he had earned for washing Mishra Uncle's car, the money he had won in a bet against Harvansh, about whose kite would fly the highest." Do you really need the comma after Harvansh?

Sometimes you use a comma for what would be a run-on sentence for us, but I know it is done that way in German." . . . it was fortunate that both Vishnu's parents worked for the Dodji family, at least his Ma had his Pa to help with the heavy stuff."

We would use either a period after family (or ; to connect the two)

Another tiny error that may or may not be cultural: at least his Ma had his Pa to help with the heavy stuff. his ma and his pa. But when used as a name, then it is Ma or Pa, as in Ma, may I have a cookie?


But that is just the grammarian in me, offering information that you can take or ignore.

Otherwise, I thought everything was wonderfully written.






I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of With My Own Money  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Wonderful job! I absolutely loved this story. *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the ending with those precious words from his mother. Lovely.



I especially enjoyed also the way this small boy loved the child he so eagerly took care of. What a sweet relationship. I hope that rich little boy grows up to appreciate Vishnu.


Corrections & comments: Sometimes I run into cultural differences in punctuation. I am an American, and for me, sometimes you overdid the commas.

Example:". . . the money he had received at Diwali , the money he had earned for washing Mishra Uncle's car, the money he had won in a bet against Harvansh, about whose kite would fly the highest." Do you really need the comma after Harvansh?

Sometimes you use a comma for what would be a run-on sentence for us, but I know it is done that way in German." . . . it was fortunate that both Vishnu's parents worked for the Dodji family, at least his Ma had his Pa to help with the heavy stuff."

We would use either a period after family (or ; to connect the two)

Another tiny error that may or may not be cultural: at least his Ma had his Pa to help with the heavy stuff. his ma and his pa. But when used as a name, then it is Ma or Pa, as in Ma, may I have a cookie?


But that is just the grammarian in me, offering information that you can take or ignore.

Otherwise, I thought everything was wonderfully written.






I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Feat or Folly  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering! Your story met the prompt well.






*Smile*  Great job! I love science fiction, and this made perfect sense to me.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was that he got his wish. He actually made into the Garden.



I especially enjoyed your explanation that it was the first probe that came back thirty years later. I wonder if people received the other probes, too.


Corrections & comments:

I would suggest not repeating words. Example: In the first paragraph stared is used back to back.

Also "life's work"/ "enter adult life" It is easy to find another word to use. stared: looked, examined, studied

life's work: the work that spanned middle-age

adult life: adulthood

While he was staring into the mirror, you said something about the only difference was the glasses. It should be were the glasses since we

view glasses as plural.


But these are only technicalities. I really enjoyed the story.








I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of A Paean to Summer  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering! Your story met the prompt with great creativity.






*Smile*  Great job! I enjoyed your tale.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was that it was about another land. I suspect since it had a wandering star that maybe it was off-world. Although a wondering star could have been perceived to be a planet if they did not know the truth.



I especially enjoyed the mischievous young lady, although I suspect she was more than that. She appeared to be rather filled with ego and vanity.


Corrections & comments: I thought the beginning of this story moved a little slowly. Perhaps you might change the order to invite us into it a little sooner? (Just a thought.) I loved the idea of this, though. The way she swallowed a sun was quite original, and there are always consequences, of course.








I am so glad I got to read this. I enjoyed your tale. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering! You certainly met the prompt!






*Smile*  Great job! This was a very creative story.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the twisted ending. You sure surprised me! I went back and read it several times to see if I was getting the right idea.



I especially enjoyed that in the end he was happy.


Corrections & comments: I don't think this is going to meet the requirements of Miss Manners or the Board of Morality, or whatever, but it sure gave me a chuckle and a half!







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Fame?  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Great job! This gives me the shivers. *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the fact that you didn't let Mr. Christopher turn into Mr. Gray. For some reason, I thought that's where this was going -- maybe because they were both rich. Maybe Mr. Christopher is even worse.



I especially enjoyed the teddy bear. That was a nice touch, which is why the shivers went up and down my spine at the end.


Corrections & comments:

The man looked like Superman, but at what age? I couldn't decide on that. I don't think he was ninety, but it might make a difference concerning the shivers. LOL

She seemed a little calm that he bought her a new car. Did she think it was a loaner? If the car was new and a gift, I think she would have reacted with a bit of surprise and protestation.

her self is one word. herself

A data breach at a medical office should have been taken seriously by the police. That is illegal, after all. Whether they could prove who did it is another thing.

"They couldn't catch him at anything illegal if they even looked" is a telling sentence. Perhaps: Cecilia called the police and reported him, but that night more Thai food arrived, and in the days that followed, Italian, then Mexican enchiladas.(still telling, but . . . It gives more reason for the departure. Of course you could substitute something else he's having delivered? Diamonds, roses, chocolates???)

New paragraph: Finally . . . Cecilia packed a suitcase and called a cab. (active verbs are better.)

When she came out of the shower, A -- no capital letter.

a new enormous teddy bear lay -- grammar error.

Laid requires a direct object. There are two verbs very similar: I laid the book on the table. I lay the book on the table. I lay on the couch. I lie on the couch.


Hope you don't mind listening to my suggestions.

This is a spooky story that very much meets the prompt. Good luck in the contest.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Good job! You just happened to pick one of my favorite themes. I love horses! *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece, besides being about a horse, was that Jess was able to eventually stay with the well-loved horse.



I'll have you know, this brought tears to my eyes. I could really picture Jess with her arms around that horse, the one who'd been waiting for her, looking up each time someone came into the barn! Very vivid scene and well set up.


Corrections & comments:

I'm not sure the picture of brother and sister was needed. That scene didn't really add to the story (for me.) You could have simply said, she turned to her brother . . . etc.

The bit about the parents' viewpoint didn't add a lot to the story either, although you could have given Malcolm a line mentioning Jess' determination to work with horses in spite of their parents' disapproval. I understand that you wanted to give us a peek into Jess' character, and I did like that backstory, but it took up a lot of room.

My suggestion is that you could have used the space to build us a picture of the ranch -- the smell of alfalfa, the sound of the wind in the trees, the texture of the fence Jess leaned against, the way the horse's warm coat felt to her fingers. In other words, a bit more sensory would have raised the tension and let us SEE.

The ending felt rushed a bit. Fattening that would have slowed it down and made it feel more satisfying (For instance, why did Glynn offer the job? What was the relationship there? Were they friends? Why was the horse in the pasture? Had the fall kept him from becoming a winner? Was he hurt? etc)


low paid job -- I've always heard it to be "a low paying job."

But I did like your story. You gave me an emotion in this piece. You made me feel. Now, if I can only stop sniveling . . .

Just kidding. Nice writing.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Good job! This was a fun piece with an interesting twist. *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was that the homeless man was so intelligent. I loved it that he was reading a book by Steven Hawking.



I also enjoyed the poor genie's demise. Of course he didn't know about gravity and outer space. He'd been stuck in a lamp all those centuries. LOL


Corrections & comments:

Never, never start a story with a huge grammatical error. The poor retired English teacher will fall down on the floor and cry.

"The lamp laid on the sidewalk." That actually hurts.

The lamp lay on the sidewalk. Laid would require a direct object unless you are discussing what a hen did, but probably even that most of the time requires a direct object. The hen laid an egg. The man laid his book on the table.

Okay, no more grammatical corrections. I will let you go free with only the one lecture. (Sorry.)

Although I liked your first two paragraphs, I am not sure they move the story forward. You could happily lose them and begin this tale with Hector. Perhaps you could have Hector pushing his grocery store cart with garbage bags full of whatever. (In other words, a description of him would be nice.)

I was amused by your very different looking genie. That was great fun! Did he look like Erik in the vampire series, Cold Blood, or whatever it was called? (If so, I might have been unhappy that you killed him in the end, though.)

But the most important part about this review is that I thoroughly enjoyed your story. It was creative, kept my interest throughout, and was highly amusing. I also really like your sense of humor.









I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Know When to Fold  
Review by Spooky Shaara
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for the What a Character Contest (Aug. 2020)

Thanks for entering!Your tale met the prompt perfectly.






*Smile*  Great job! I like how you set this up as a poker game with the guys. That made the dialogue interesting, as they each gave their wish.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the idea of having world piece. I wish that person was the one to be awarded.



I especially enjoyed the way the wish backfired, as wishes do.


Corrections & comments:

I reread this a couple of times. The biggest problem with "talking heads" is that we don't get to see anyone, so although we know names, they don't sink in. We don't really know anyone.

You can avoid "talking heads" by giving facial clues, clothing descriptions, and body details: Ie. Jack's blonde hair needed brushing. Every time he smoothed it back . . . The ring on
Jack's hand sparkled. Jack wore a shirt which was buttoned all askew. Jack's deep voice, whiny voice, scratchy voice . . . etc.



So, with invisibility comes a world all messed up with riots? Why? I found the story's ending difficult to understand. I wanted more explanation about the postcard, about invisibility.

Why was Sean in a hospital bed if he was invisible? I couldn't put it all together. Sorry.









I am so glad I got to read this. It was very creative. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

What a Character Contest.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13
13
Review of Silken Threads  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Great job!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the concept you presented. This is beautiful.



I especially enjoyed the way the chains shrink in intimacy and are strengthened by unselfish care.


Corrections & comments: Personally, I would place a period after swollen, then start the next line as a complete sentence.

It was also nice the way you contrasted nebular focus and singular focus. Well thought-out.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Love's Rose  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Wonderful!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the fact that I could almost smell that rose. I think it was the way the bud opened, atom by atom that did that, along with the release of its perfume. It was all so very vivid. I am sure that rose was red. Right?



I especially enjoyed that this piece wasn't about a new love, but a love that had endured. That is truly the evidence of LOVE.


Corrections & comments: What else can I say. This is beautiful. It makes anyone romantic at heart say, "Ahhhhh." The way you wrote this, giving every word precision and depth deserves a bow. This piece floored me with awe.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Great job! This gave me goosebumps! *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the story you gave us. It was a peek into a different culture from mine that revealed how love could look from another angle. Nicely done.



I especially enjoyed the way you presented this, leading us softly, gently through one man's tale. I'd like to gaze at his young bride, see the hero of the tale, even glance at his mother so I could try to understand how she could be so cruel. But even when you didn't SHOW us that, you gave us a well-rounded picture.


Corrections & comments: No corrections. How could I change a thing, when you wove this like a tapestry. Very SKILLFULLY.






I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Your Embrace  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Good job!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the ending, the way it is two against the a "world prone to darkness." That last line is powerful!



I especially enjoyed the emotion in this piece. The love comes through.


Corrections & comments: My one suggestion is to find another wording for the following cliche: "Burning bright." I wonder if there is other phrasing you could use. The rest of the poem is so beautifully fresh.

But then there is that crescendo at the end, so . . . ??? Anyway, nice writing.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Great job!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was "the butterfly wings of my heart." That is so vivid, so emotional.



I especially enjoyed "our sun" as if the fact that it belonged only to the two of you had deepened the intensity of your relationship. And then there was the line"between the beats of my eardrum." That is something, we, the reader can understand. We've felt it, heard it. Nicely done.


Corrections & comments: This may just be me, but I would drop the last two lines. They take away from the beauty of that sensory-filled first stanza.

But, you are the poet who has felt this emotion, or at least built it to share for the rest of us, so . . .







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Good job!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the contrast at the beginning of their friendship to the ending of what was to come.



I especially enjoyed "Children three, dogs galore." Great line.


Corrections & comments:

This was a nice piece about a lengthy marriage. It showed the necessity of friendship in a relationship, which is why I enjoyed it so much.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Great job!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the way your love was the king of your heart. Lovely.



I especially enjoyed the last stanza with its almost magical feel. This made me wonder if the poet were an elf princess, a mother with her son, a tired woman who simply loved her husband, or . . .?


Corrections & comments:

Are there any soft beds on the moon? (Just kidding.) This reminds me of the work of many of the old children's tales. I loved the "fetch a nice pillow from the clouds." That's a line I could really get into. LOL

Actually, this piece is quite wondrous. I think one day we might see it in poetry books.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Good job!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the tone of innocent first love. Should I risk it? Should I dare?



I especially enjoyed the feeling of youth you've managed to put into this piece. We've all been at that moment of uncertainty. That's why it is so easy to identify with this piece.


Corrections & comments: "In the worst of times, This has been the best of times" sounds too much like Dickens in the "Tale of Two Cities." I would reword that. It breaks the mood, which you really don't want to have happen in the middle of a love poem.

Anyway, you did a good job with the prompt.





I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of beyond dreaming  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






*Smile*  Great job!  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the illustration of how we often don't get what we think we want, and that turns out better. I like your liking.



I especially enjoyed the ending. It was surprising, which is always a good thing.


Corrections & comments:

foolishness. I've bleed (bled?)

somehow, as we grow together . . . at this point you switched to present tense. But I would feel it more coherent if you remained in past tense.
somehow, as we grew together, etc., because with the lines that follow, you are looking back over a period of time.

But, you're the poet. I am just giving you an opinion here.

Anyway, you did a great job with this piece. I enjoyed my read.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






I am so sorry your piece did not qualify in the contest. I was told that it did not have a line count. But here is a review to cheer you up.  



What I liked most about this piece: My cooler, our clutch, crisp with vagrant sand. << Lovely description! I can see it and feel it!

I also liked: Your suit clings, drips a trail. Again very descriptive.



I especially enjoyed the list of foods. Eggs salad isn't a good thing for a picnic, but it is in a cooler, so I hope they didn't get sick. It makes me hungry, though.




Corrections & comments:
Invisible imprint like ink -- but ink is not invisible. I would think this would be a visible imprint like ink.

Toeing noisy beams down -- I am not sure I follow this. Are they making their way down the side of a cliff that has beams of wood? If that is what you mean, then it works. I like the toeing.



You certainly have a way of painting the scene. Nice job.

I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






I am so sorry your piece did not qualify in the contest. I was told that it did not have a line count. But here is a review to cheer you up.  



What I liked most about this piece was that, according to the picture and the name on the acrostic, this is a truth poem, so bravo. I hope you share it with your loved one.



I especially enjoyed the thought at the end: that "hospitals are the true reveal." That is something we all can be thinking about, especially in times like now.


Corrections & comments:

I wouldn't put two ing words together: "Lasting loving," but maybe that's just me. For me, the sound of it is off. But you're the poet, just letting you know my thoughts.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Valentines  
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Journey Through Genres: Romantic Poetry (February, 2020)

Thanks for entering!






I am so sorry your piece did not qualify in the contest. I was told that it did not have a line count. But here is a review to cheer you up.  



What I liked most about this piece was the seeming simplicity. You showed your love quite adequately.



I especially enjoyed the vision of those chocolate hearts melting in the pot.


Corrections & comments: My favorite was the third stanza with its mulched and mangled. Very clever wording in this piece. I enjoyed it thoroughly.







I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review from one of the contest judges for

Romantic Poetry.



Smiles,
S h a a r a






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review by Spooky Shaara
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for Quotation Inspiration (November 2019)

Thanks for entering!




Your Quote was: "You don't take a photograph, you make it." --Ansel Adams





*Smile*  Good story! It was creative and original.  *Smile*



What I liked most about this piece was the poor woman who got caught up in this. She only wanted to take excellent pictures. How sad that everything went wrong for her.



I especially enjoyed the shopkeeper with her dark red lipstick and hair -- and the cat! Her pet made me wonder if she were a witch. Quite clever to start your readers down that suspicion zone!


Corrections & comments:

She named a price will within Diana's budget... I think you meant to say: well but less than it's actual worth.. That should be its, not it's = it is

Her worried gazed dropped the the camera. << Her worried gaze dropped to the camera? Also, the her, refers back to the noun before it (the woman's smiling face}, which is confusing. It would be more clear if you repeated Diana's name so we understand that the worried expression was Diana's. To clarify: Diana's worried gaze dropped to the camera.

Looking through the viewfinder she shielded the light < once again the she refers back to the noun, the woman back at the shop. (See above.)

"You do know how to stage a photot. photo?

She often at her lunch. (ate)

It was the same park she'd taken the picture of the dog . . . At this point I was especially unclear which person you were talking about due to pronoun confusion. (Sorry) Who ate lunch in the park, who was the one taking pictures of the dog, who didn't recognize the woman in the picture?






I am so glad I got to read this. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




This is an official review for "Quotation Inspiration."



Smiles,
S h a a r a






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