|Yo. Found your story on Read & Review.
I like the premise of the story and the ending caught me off guard. I liked the twist but it was a little bumpy getting there.
Your single paragraph writing is kind of confusing, like reading a wall of text. Not saying this to be mean. More experienced and talented people than me use multiple paragraphs.
There was little characterization. I think the story would've benefited from having the character actually remember stuff from his past instead of having you, the author say that he did.
Also we know very little about the character besides the fact that he tends to be late.
I personally think the final scene would've benefited from a description of the people mourning. Friends and family, how they reacted individually. It would've told us a lot about the character and I think would've added t the shock value.
Overall I liked the premise, but I think it would've largely benefited from some characterization.