This was good. The scene with her nightmare is very intriguing, I want to know what that is about and also.... I want to know what is going to happen when George finds out. ;) There is a tense change in the last paragraph where it begins in present tense then goes back to past.
I like this poem. It speaks to me and my own abuse. The only thing I noticed is that when you build something it is a "raising" when you destroy something it is a "razing". But that is minor and it certainly doesn't detract from the impact that the poem has. ;)
I liked this poem. This is not my favorite style but I gave it a try anyway and the theme of the poem spoke to me and the way I write.
There were a couple times the rhythm was interrupted because I would notice that a line could go with the line above it or below it. Not a big deal and actually I liked that....but it did halt my flow. :)
This really hit home with me. Maybe because it is very appropriate for things I am going through in my life right now - but that is what great poetry does - speaks to your life in the moment.
The first section's rhyming feels awkward to my mouth, even when I say it out loud. Even with that tiny thing, I really enjoyed this - dark subject matter tends to draw me in right away.
For some reason this, as a whole, did not speak to me like I thought it would. It has everything I love. The vocabulary, the sentence structure, the structure of the poem as a whole...all of these things are very enjoyable to me. The second part that ends in "A grace remains forever mine"... that part really speaks to me.
I found the visual language in this poem to be really great. I had no problem envisioning many of these things in a very abstract way which is definitely the way I work.
All in all I enjoyed this poem and reread it quite a few times.
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