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This is a review for "The Worst Work Day" 
 First Impression :
The story appears to be relating a bitter experience of the writer at the workplace. The writer himself is the main character (protagonist), and uses First Person Pronoun narrating the accounts how he lost his job due to the rude, irresponsible and inconsiderate managerial staff.
Most of the story reveals the writer’s personal analysis and thoughts about the attitudes of people at the workplace. It also vividly sketches the inhumane behaviors of the managers or the people having authority.
Plot !
The storyline is well-sequenced. The exposition is less, but defines every character very well. The Rising Action has great proportion in the story. The story reaches its climax in the ending. There is clear ending of the story. We discuss each element of the plot one by one:
The story text is inked with blue.
My comments in green color.
Trouble area in red color.
Beginning!
The beginning of the story is simple and lucid. The story begins with the sentence asking the readers about the bad experience at workplace:
Have you ever had a bad experience in the work place? That’s fine to attract the reader’s attention by posing a question that leads him/her to main theme of the story.In my personal opinion, it could be made more attractive by starting the story with a beautiful quote on the bad experience. Have you ever had a bad experience in the work place? Having worked in various restaurants, I’ve had quite a few myself. You’re probably wondering what kind of restaurants I’ve worked in. Am I right? Here you should not ask this question. Instead, you need to leave it to the readers whether you were right. You can rewrite it as “Am I right or not? I leave it the readers of my story.” After all, the type of establishment will usually, although not always, determine the kind of crew one will have to work with; not to mention management. For example: When I think of fast food, thoughtless employees and big headed managers often come to mind. I would not have expected that from a modish restaurant. Yep! that’s right, my most horrible experience was in an old folks country steakhouse and buffet.
Conflict!
The conflict originates in when Erika notices the writer bumping into Luigi and thinks that he has touched him below the waist. Erika probably complained to manager Amanda about it, who called the writer in her office. The situation in the kitchen worsened the conflict.
Here, the writer’s depiction is quite realistic. He shows his keen observation towards the things and matters. The conflicts really color the beautiful sketch. The careless and imprudent attitude of Mikee and complaining and bossy behaviors of wannabe manager Myra were the major factors that paved the way to kick out the writer from the job.
Ending or Resolution!
The resolution results that the writer loses his job and he admits that he could have gotten his job back if he would have had written a report to the higher authority telling the ground facts what had happened that day.
Though the ending of the story is definite, the reader still thinks whether the writer got another new job or he is still seeking for the new job.
Pacing!
The story paces well. The writer does not focus so much at the detailed description of the places, characters etc. Only the necessary areas have been emphasized. That’s well-done.
Setting and Imagery!
There is not so much setting that can distract from the enjoyment of the story and slow down the pace. Once, a reader starts reading the first line, he continues to read up to the last word. The key elements of the story have been described adequately. There are not so unimportant elements that can mislead the readers.
Characterization !
All the characters of the story are well-described and engaging the readers’ attention. The characters are real; the ways they behave seem to be very realistic. The main character ( protagonist ) gets in trouble while doing his job in a modish restaurant. The rude attitude of manager Amanda and the complaining staff like Erika and Myra made the situation so worst for the writer that he had to lose his job.
What I got the feelings from the characters of the story is that everyone seems to be opponent to the writer. If he does good work, gets no reward and when he makes a mistake, he is threatened to be fired. The managers do not look at Mikee’s fault; instead they showed anger at the writer. What could I say it? A bad luck of the writer or the inhuman attitude of the managerial staff ! Perhaps a conspiracy of the managers against the writer !
Writing Style !
The writing style is very good. The flow of the writing is smooth. The writer vividly depicts the situation using the beautiful words. Good command on the choice of suitable words according to the situation, especially the dialogues that are quite natural. Though at some places the writer writes casually and informally such as:
while I’m hustling n bustling around them with a wet mop. Makes it kind of hard not to bump into someone.
more and more dishes were being returned. Followed by more of the same belittling remarks.
, while I’m hustling n bustling around them with a wet mop. Makes it kind of hard not to bump into someone.
She didn’t have to wash stacks of pans, most of which had dry food stuck to the bottom. Not to mention all the dishes that were piling up around me.
Dialogue !
All the dialogues of the story are well-written and engaging the readers’ attention. Most of the story paces ahead through the dialogues. The dialogues are natural and informal and depict the true emotions and feelings of the characters very well.
One thing I want to say that the lines of the dialogues must have some spacing to increase the readability. Like, your dialogues are:
“Did you change the trash in the ladies room this morning?” she asked.
“No. They were only a quarter of the way full.”
“So, you haven’t been changing them of a morning?”
“Not every morning. No,” I said wondering what the problem was.
“Well, they need to be changed every morning. They stink! If the health department comes in and sees that, we could be fined.”
“Ok, I apologize. Is there anything else?”
“Yes, she said, “Luigi told me that you touched him below the waist. Is this true?”
“No,” I said, a bit perplexed by the accusation..
“Well Erika seems to think you did.”
I insert some spacing or empty lines to make the dialogues more readable as:
“Did you change the trash in the ladies room this morning?” she asked.
“No. They were only a quarter of the way full.”
“So, you haven’t been changing them of a morning?”
“Not every morning. No,” I said wondering what the problem was.
“Well, they need to be changed every morning. They stink! If the health department comes in and sees that, we could be fined.”
“Ok, I apologize. Is there anything else?”
“Yes, she said, “Luigi told me that you touched him below the waist. Is this true?”
“No,” I said, a bit perplexed by the accusation..
“Well Erika seems to think you did.”
Technical Aspects !
Though the writer has very good command on writing, at some places, he needs proper attention to remove typos or grammatical problems.
I point them out along with the suggestions:
 My past experiences at this steakhouse were certainly not memorable ones, but on until this particular day, when it had reached a breaking point. That was a day when I really wished I would have called off. I know, that’s not exactly the right thing to do, but had I done so, the results would have been far better. How was I to know that I would lose my job that day? The question mark needed, as it is a interrogative sentence. You go in; you put forth your best effort, but sometimes it just doesn’t pay out.
“Your not even doing anything!” She remarked. “You need to get moving!”
” Your” is a possessive pronoun that is written before noun such as “your work”. I think, it is typo; you wanted to write “You are” or “You’re” which makes some sense in the sentence i.e. “You’re not even doing anything!”
He’s everywhere but not where I need him to be.
while I’m hustling n bustling around them with a wet mop. Makes it kind of hard not to bump into someone.
I suggest to rewrite it as:
while I’m hustling n bustling around them with a wet mop that makes it kind of hard not to bump into someone.
She didn’t have to wash stacks of pans, most of which had dry food stuck to the bottom. Not to mention all the dishes that were piling up around me.
I think the sentence should be as “No need to mention all the dishes were piling up around me.
… more and more dishes were being returned. Followed by more of the same belittling remarks. I think, these two setences should be joined together and no full stop needed between them. I rewrite it as: … more and more dishes were being returned with more of the same belittling remarks.
“Yes I am!” I said. inverted commas needed, as it is a part of the dialogue.If you don’t think I can do the damn job, then find someone else that can!”
I could have gotten unemployment. I think you want to say “I could have gotten employment.” The reason is that you were saying there that if you had have written a report to the chain of the command, you could have gotten your job back.
I guess I should have written a report rather then getting mouthy.
Bumping into Luigi turned out to be more then a simple apology.
In your sentence, you used 'then' when it should be 'than'. 'Then' is typically used when indicating time, order, or succession. 'Than' is when you're trying to compare two things like how John likes apples more than oranges. A lot of writers have some trouble remembering the difference between the two. I used to confuse them all the time. What I find helped me was stopping every time I was going to use 'then' or 'than' and thinking hard about where I was going to put it and which one I should use. After a few times, I understood it and don't confuse the two of them anymore.
Specific Highlights:
What I really like in your story is the way you depict everything in a beautiful way, especially the human behaviors.
This certainly did not go unnoticed by the crew who were already complaining over the mounting pile of dishes. Their belittling remarks I scarcely heard over the constant clanging of pots and pans. Usually you can’t hear anything with all that racket. However, when you’re the subject of an ill conversation, suddenly you can hear everything loud and clear.
Myra left as soon as Mikee and I changed out the empty soap bucket. I assumed she went to management, so I was trying to find something to say to smooth all this over. I didn’t want to lose my job. A few minutes later, like I expected, Amanda walks in on a war path.
“Why were you washing without soap!” She demanded, her hands firmly on her hips.
“I didn’t realize we were out. I’ve been trying to get these pans scrubbed.”
“Without soap!” She exclaimed
I kept telling her that I didn’t know we were out of soap. I knew she was trying to accuse me. You’re right, she wanted a reason to fire me. So for the next ten minutes, Amanda stood there with her arms crossed supervising my every move. “I want those pans rewashed,” she said pointing to the stack of previously washed dishes.
Suggestions:
I’ve given suggestions under different headings of my review. Here, I just want to add that title of the story is “A Bad Work Day”. To me, it should be “The Worst Work Day”, because the protagonist ( main character ) of the story lost his job.
Moreover, the writer should have mentioned whether he got new job or not, or he is still seeking for some job.
Overall :
Most of the story reveals the writer’s personal analysis and thoughts about the attitudes of people at the workplace. It also vividly sketches the inhumane behaviors of the managers or the people having authority.
The flow of the story is very well. I really like your beautiful description that reveals you've good command on writing the non-fiction stories. Great effort !
Write on ! 
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| (4.5)
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