I thought this was really good! Personally my problem wasn't in it feeling incomplete exactly but more the awkward part. I don't write much poetry but for I think it just needed to flow better. Maybe it's supposed to be all staccoto-like but if that's the case then I'm not sure that's the feel that I want to get from the start of it. I don't know exactly how to explain it the right way but yes the awkward part I can see a little but I really liked it, like a lot. And I don't like that much poetry so you are part of an elite group :)
First of all this is my first review but I would like to say that I completely agree, people should at least acknowledge the people that graciously reviewed their work when they didn't have to.
Second, I would like to say that I am 17 (18 in November) and just because I am young doesn't mean that my opinions don't matter or that i don't know what I'm talking about. I'm sure that I don't know what I'm talking about sometimes and I'm sure that this girl was doing exactly what you said but I just felt like sharing because you said that even though she was only 16 and such. I'm sure that's not how you meant it.
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