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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/texasbelle
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34 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Revelation  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (5.0)
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What a wonderfully constructed poem. It's badge of honor not only to take on this form but to master it.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The careful construction of this piece is not only true to the form but you managed to remain consistent in developing the theme.

*Snow3* It is especially noteworthy because, I think this is correct, you constructed this piece using three words given you.

*Snow3* Well done!


Welcome home!
2
2
Review of Prom Queen  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This is a perfect example of gut-raw minimalist poetry, it leads you down a path you think you want to go and the slaps your face with reality. Poetry at its best, the reader must react.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The hiaku type formation of each line adds to the slight of hand that will come at the end.

*Snow3* You packed so much emotion into this poem and since it's "ripped from the headlines" there can be no denying the truth of it.

*Snow3* The use of the "prom queen" takes it to an unexpected audience.

Welcome home!
3
3
Review of Soft Spring  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This is a wonderful pastoral piece.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* You capture the feeling we all have in those almost seasonal changes, especially the element of hope.

*Snow3* The bare bones verbage allows the reader to submit their own emotional feelings thus gently guiding the reader to the end.

*Snow3* The juxposition from beginning to death was so beautifully constructed. There is no feeling of a contrived ending.

*Snow3* The only suggestion for a change would possibly combining

no harm to lie
in greening pastures

into one line because causes an unnatural pause.



Welcome home!
4
4
Review of Searching  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (5.0)
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The ultimate universal theme, searching for the meaning to life.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* You said what needed to be said and didn't try to satisfy that harpy inside that wants to ramble on. This is an admirable, and unteachable, trait in poetry.

*Snow3* The use of contrasting imagery (rough hands/tender mists) gives this simple piece such texture.

*Snow3* It was wonderful to read.



Welcome home!
5
5
Review of Frosted Pane  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I felt the chill as I read through this piece.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* Wonderful, wonderful imagery, it so fits the feeling you are trying to convey.

*Snow3* The economy of words, wishing more could understand that, really allows the frosty aloneness come through.

*Snow3* The only word substitution would be: "against the pane" instead of on the pain. Why? "Against" is more oppresive a word in this case, more active.

*Snow3* It's a wonderfully constructed piece.

Welcome home!
6
6
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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So few writers understand that simplicity in wording can make for more powerful poetry.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The economy of words that let loose powerful emotion, the longing is so evident in each word.

*Snow3* The fall of the poem, both literally and figuratively, pushes the reader forward in a beautiful way.

*Snow3* The rhythm lends a quiet sensualness that adds to the longing expressed.

It's an exquisite piece.

Welcome home!
7
7
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I may not be a "health nut" by pure definition but I love preservative, additive, using fresh ingredients type remedies!

Observations and such:

*Snow3* It's wonderful that you made this a forum so that all of the remedies stay up and can be referenced.

*Snow3* Also, that you allow discussion instead of "post and go." It allows not only for the sharing of information but fine tuning as well



Welcome home!
8
8
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I really enjoy poetry that takes ordinary items, occurences, or appendages and takes them to another level.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The covert way you talk about thumbs without hitting us over the head. Even the last stanza reveals without making the reader feel patronized.

*Snow3* The rhythm pattern is wonderful! You maintain the flow all the way through.

*Snow3* Though not a big fan of disclaimers or explanations, this one seemed more of a continuation and, actually, added to the enjoyment of the piece.



Welcome home!
9
9
Review of Hands in Pockets  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Once again you take an ordinary subject and force the reader into retrospection.

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The repetition becomes a mantra for those happy with the status quo of life and not reaching out

*Snow3* The rhyme scheme and sentence structure work well together, no forced or unnatural sentence structure.

*Snow3* The rhythm pattern becomes lost and breaks the flow of the piece. When that happens the reader is forced to stop and start which causes the piece to lose emotional power.

These, like the others are just my impressions and didn't take away from my enjoyment of the piece.

Welcome home!
10
10
Review of Walking...  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (4.0)
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I enjoy poems that say more underneath than on the surface.


Observations and such:{/b]

*Snow3* The imagery in the beginning, an ordinary and not necessarily pleasant event that slowly turns into reflection.

*Snow3* You handled the paradox very well, placing it gentle in the readers lap without being heavy handed with it. Too many times writers feel the need to over-explain such things; however, if you write the paradox well it doesn't need explanation

*Snow3* I'm not a big fan of rhyme schemes because they tend to lead to forced and unnatural sentence structure. For example, we throw him out
this poem meet same fate?


The last stanza is brilliantly turned!


Welcome home!
11
11
Review of Visual Poetry  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I truly loved this graphic!

Observations and such:

*Snow3* The reader immediately understands the intention of the piece.

*Snow3* The choice of a single color when using various fonts made the piece not only stunning but elegant.

*Snow3* It's beautifully balanced!


Welcome home!
12
12
Review of My Hiding Place  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a very nice retelling of a childhood experience. Though it is short you tell a great deal about yourself in a lovely concise manner. There are a couple of edit notes:

In the opening line you write, "Most younger kids..." This presents a weak start for the piece and given the spareness of the piece you need to start it with more formal language, "At a young age, most children..." The other note involves the last paragraph.

You have a marvelous opportunity to turn the tale back on itself, even though you admit to being all grown up you still find yourself hiding away. The last sentence has a very weak sound to it, "mostly an adult." If you are married with children you are an adult, at least for the moral of this story to work.

Keep writing.

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13
13
Review of Apple of My Eyes  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is such a beautiful piece and so captures the carnival of emotions that play in your heart when you lose a sweetie this way. I have been there, too, and it is indeed a painful sisterhood to which we belong. Thank you for bringing this intimate portrait to the site. I loved it so much.


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14
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Review of Time stand still  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice interpretation of a very difficult poetic form. It is unusual to use such a somber subject for the triolet but I realize that this was for a contest and so the pure form was not used.

You broke the rhythm pattern several times, especially in the second stanza, which causes a break in the emotional flow of the piece.

Keep writing.

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15
15
Review of Three's A Charm  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (4.0)
You can't beat a good cat story! This was a very enjoyable read.

Your descriptions, both physical and personality, was wonderful. You allowed the reader to see the cats as intrigal parts of the story without becoming overly sacrene.

There were some problems with the construction, however, that cause some difficulty in following the plot. For example, you don't tell the reader that you are on vacation until the last paragraph. Up until that point the reader is left wondering why one cat is in the bush and the other on the path. Yes, you allude that the kitten is in another part: of the state? country? city?, but that lends unclarity when switching. It's almost as if the stories are three completely unrelated events, maybe the use of the stars between paragraphs added to the feeling of disconnectedness. Another convention used that slows down the flow is the incorrect use of ellipsis (...) for pause. In writing, commas, semicolons, and periods are used to indicate pauses not ellipsis which are used to indicate that something has been left out.

Oh, Jiminy, look how I've gone on! The story has really wonderful moments, especially that last image of the kitten sitting in Dianes lap, that have the makings of a major short story if you just fleshed it out more.

Keep writing!

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Review of Three's A Charm  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (4.0)
You can't beat a good cat story! This was a very enjoyable read.

Your descriptions, both physical and personality, was wonderful. You allowed the reader to see the cats as intrigal parts of the story without becoming overly sacrene.

There were some problems with the construction, however, that cause some difficulty in following the plot. For example, you don't tell the reader that you are on vacation until the last paragraph. Up until that point the reader is left wondering why one cat is in the bush and the other on the path. Yes, you allude that the kitten is in another part: of the state? country? city?, but that lends unclarity when switching. It's almost as if the stories are three completely unrelated events, maybe the use of the stars between paragraphs added to the feeling of disconnectedness. Another convention used that slows down the flow is the incorrect use of ellipsis (...) for pause. In writing, commas, semicolons, and periods are used to indicate pauses not ellipsis which are used to indicate that something has been left out.

Oh, Jiminy, look how I've gone on! The story has really wonderful moments, especially that last image of the kitten sitting in Dianes lap, that have the makings of a major short story if you just fleshed it out more.

Keep writing!

{image #906216}

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17
Review of Birmingham  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very nicely written, it engaged the reader from the beginning gentle leading (tricking?) the reader into a false sense of security; just a nice little remembrance don't worry, dear reader. You strike the emotional sure and strong and it reverbrates to the end.

Yes, very nicely written.
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18
18
Review of Birmingham  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very nicely written, it engaged the reader from the beginning gentle leading (tricking?) the reader into a false sense of security; just a nice little remembrance don't worry, dear reader. You strike the emotional sure and strong and it reverbrates to the end.

Yes, very nicely written.

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19
19
Review of Three's A Charm  
Review by Texas Belle
Rated: E | (4.0)
You can't beat a good cat story! This was a very enjoyable read.

Your descriptions, both physical and personality, was wonderful. You allowed the reader to see the cats as intrigal parts of the story without becoming overly sacrene.

There were some problems with the construction, however, that cause some difficulty in following the plot. For example, you don't tell the reader that you are on vacation until the last paragraph. Up until that point the reader is left wondering why one cat is in the bush and the other on the path. Yes, you allude that the kitten is in another part: of the state? country? city?, but that lends unclarity when switching. It's almost as if the stories are three completely unrelated events, maybe the use of the stars between paragraphs added to the feeling of disconnectedness. Another convention used that slows down the flow is the incorrect use of ellipsis (...) for pause. In writing, commas, semicolons, and periods are used to indicate pauses not ellipsis which are used to indicate that something has been left out.

Oh, Jiminy, look how I've gone on! The story has really wonderful moments that have the makings of a major short story if you just fleshed it out more.

Keep writing.

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