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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/twowolves
Review Requests: ON
405 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and frank...period.
I'm good at...
pretending to be good at things.
Favorite Genres
emotional
Least Favorite Genres
erotica
Favorite Item Types
Poetry
Least Favorite Item Types
editorials
I will not review...
erotica of any kind. romance is one thing...sexuality is often another.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The tornado aftermath is really something to see. I was awed and dismayed at how our stout buildings were torn asunder as if by giant's hands. This poem is well written and describes it well.



Good Job
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2
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (2.0)
Man made God not the other way around. Why? When they had the whole world in front of them and nature was providing everything to sustain them, why did they go beyond Mother Earth for a spiritual, invisible, deity to worship that started with the sun. Fear. Fear of death most importantly. We can't just go back to the earth in our graves and that's it! We're far too important!
SO along comes religion to say yes, you are going to die and if you follow our ways, you will be reborn to live forever in a beautiful place where you will want for nothing forever and ever.

Do you know remember what it was like before you were born? No, and death is just like that. No wants forever and ever again.

That's reality. Not make-believe. How many more Holy men have to fall because they were frauds and pedophiles before folk stop putting other People on pedestals.

A provocative poem obviously but needs work. Holy soap? really? I think that something more profound could be said here.
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3
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very ingenious way of using mathematics to make a profound statement. I like this piece for it's cleverness and the overall point of it. Good job.
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4
Review of The Scar  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
If they saw me unclothed ...followed closely by, hidden beneath my skin...this makes the first line illogical and readers pick up on it. Not saying it's wrong but it doesn't make sense and folks reading it pick up on these things and it takes them out of the moment you are creating for them.

If they heard me speaking freely
Would they see it there?

That would be poetic, and profound but keep the following lines logical until the conclusion.


Just a thought from another writer

well done.


5
5
Review of Homage to Romance  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.5)
Lovers dancing til dawn under the moonlight. Some good imagery and a well described night scene. I think it could be expanded upon.

well written.
6
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Review of Her  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.5)
First loves are often very powerful BUT usually they are further romanticized as time goes on. Until you go back home and run into them and start to wonder if they've changed or you were just younger and too infatuated to notice some things way back when. They are startlingly blaring now.



well written poem.
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Review of Entanglement  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This is clearly a case of infatuation and a mistake about to happen. Firstly, stop putting people on pedestals..they cannot live up to your high standards. When you see a person and start to "be entranced" realize that you do not see the whole picture ...yet.
How many do you know that say... after we were married it all changed. No it didn't...they were that person..but you didn't know it or give it enough time..or they hid it.

good poem well written
8
8
Review of WHAT IS LIFE?  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
You had me til the last verse. Good free verse style poem that asks the question what is life and then suggests it's struggle til death.

Except for the religious bit at the end.


good job
9
9
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice thoughtful romantic wistful piece of rhyming. I liked it. Few changes I'd of made but nothing critical just personal preference.

good job
10
10
Review of Welcome Spring!  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.5)
Clever little ode to spring. I'd like to see the poem continue with more tree cleverness..go out on a limb...maybe branch out a little....don't be all bark and no bite....


well done.
11
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Review of Voices  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well written piece about inner demons (voices) and regrets that the depressed suffer with. Sadly most never learn the best coping mechanisms and fall into the habits of drugs or alcohol.
Diaphragmatic breathing (look it up). A huge help.

Visualization: Humans have a quick neuro link to negative thinking that helped us stay alive but can be un-taught to a degree if you practice switching them to a comfortable, peaceful, truly happy time in your life. It bridges you so when you begin to think neg thoughts you force yourself to remember that special happy place and think about describing it to a friend.

Lastly: You can't run and hide. You can't fight the neg thoughts so? You surrender and befriend them. Thank you anxiety for coming to warn me like a fire alarm but there's no fire.. just smoke.. I'll be ok. Thank you neg thoughts for trying to teach me that I have strayed, I have learned my lesson and will not repeat those mistakes again.
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Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very nice free verse style poem. Friendship and comraderie are vital to a soldier but not exclusive to that trade. I know we all would like to have that brother or sister that we bond with over and above blood ties.


well thought out and well written
13
13
Review of Moving On  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good piece about finding a new stronger version of yourself and placing the past behind you. Most people try to forget what they really should be trying to forgive...either their younger selves or others. The past is gone...the lessons were hard learned and you are sorry for your part in mistakes and will never repeat them. So let it go and that is what this piece is all about.

I like it.
14
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Review of Otra Vez  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
For me this is a good poem that could become a great poem without adding a thing. In fact by removing the word "again" from most of the lines is all that is required.


People seem to do the same thing with the word "and" which also detracts rather than enhance their lines.


Try this without the agains.
15
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Review of The Survivors  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dark yet hopeful at the end. Armageddon from the hebrew tale of the final battle Arma in the valley of Geddon where many battles were fought between the Jewish and invaders.

12 gospels were written but 4 made the cut at the council of nicea. They picked the four that suited their new church best because, for example, Phillip's stated that Mary was Jesuah (Jesus' real name) companion (which meant wife) and that He wanted her to carry on the ministry. Phillip stated that Mary was to be the new Master (teacher).

Oddly enough, James was Jesuah's brother and disciple and grew up with him but his version of Christianity was very Jewish sounding to most ears. Paul, 25 years later, a Roman, has a vision he says that tells him to stop his sinning and be the leader of the Christians and his version is more acceptable to Romans so he converts the most and makes the biggest Church. The Roman Catholic.

After the tragedy the new truth evolved and this poem is sagely pointing out that it could happen again. I totally agree.
The writer seems to lean toward a better humanity coming out of the ashes whereas I doubt man will ever reach utopia.

well written.
16
16
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.0)
Nice picture of a European man they call Jesus, however, having spent 6 months in Israel near Nazareth, I saw black haired dark skinned people. Even his name has been changed as the story was rewritten from Aramaic where he was named Jesuah, to Greek, Joshua, to Latin. Jesus (Hay Zoos), to English..Jesus (Gee Zus). Why isn't the man in the pic dark haired and dark skinned with his name Jesuah below or above it? Because the Europeans wouldn't accept that so they changed it to suit them.

He was born during the time of Herod's census and culling of firstborns which happened in spring/summer...Not the 25 Dec as that was when Emperor Constantine wanted to stop the fighting between Roman deity worshippers and Christians so he made the celebration of Jesus' birth the same time as the Romans were feasting. 25 Dec (winter solstice).

Sad but the great man Jesuah has been changed to suit Man's standards.

Easter and bunnies and chocolates...lol ....truly sad.
17
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Review of My Fall Poems  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice piece about an autumn activity of checking out the colorful leaves. I like that the narrator allows the fact that the wind blowing the leaf away was nothing to get angry about but simply the day passing it on to someone else.

People this relaxed are not in great supply unfortunately.

Good psychology lesson in this little fall poem.
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Review of Remembrance  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (2.5)
I am unsure what this is about however I am thinking it's about someone dying of a disease that can't be identified or someone on a Psych Ward.

Sometimes though writers are vague because they understand the story that readers can't fathom since there isn't enough information given in the lines. I'd recommend filling in a few more pieces of the puzzle so I can truly appreciate the story being told.


It's a great start
19
19
Review of Skara Brae  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.0)
A rhetorical poem as the narrator looks upon a piece of history and then wonders how our lives will be viewed 9 millenia hence. It's like seeing stone henge and wondering what people 9000 years from now will think of Trump tower.


Most people will walk by it daily and not even notice :)

good piece
20
20
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.0)
Futility of an ill spent life? The story of a depressed loner? Quite the piece and, as always, filled with interesting phrasing. I have to say this is a poem that I like parts of independent of one another. It's like (to me) there are good spots interspersed with not so interesting lines. I feel like it's almost "there" but not quite...a last rough copy just before the final touches are added to bring it from a good piece to a great one.

Hope that makes sense and of course, this is just an opinion from another would be writer
21
21
Review of Spellbinding  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.5)
I was raised by the sea and would row out amongst the humpbacks when they came into the bay. Exhilarating! I too write about her or the days spent roaming the harbor and beach long ago.


well written....good imagery...nice flow to it.
22
22
Review of AN ODE TO GANDHI  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.0)
Beware false idols. Research Gandhi a bit more....not the nicest man in the world. I love Einstein's physics but the man had his dark side like all people. Careful not to idolize people...Elvis and JFK ..two more icons that weren't exactly saints. Even Mother Theresa it has been proven, withheld the money she was given for her work, because she saw suffering as godly.

This piece reeks of idealistic thoughts of great men who, though they weren't great people, managed to do some great things.

The truth is a bitter pill but if we realize that nobody's perfect. There is the light wolf AND the dark wolf inside everyone.


good piece ..decent rhyming ...decent flow.
23
23
Review of It  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (4.5)
There is a haunting quality to this piece that is compelling to make a reader go over it repeatedly to ensure they got the meaning. I'm still not sure if I did entirely understand the writer.

I'd call this piece "Life" as that is what I think of mostly when I read it.

Very thought provoking work and therefore a great job.
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Review of Still Less Than  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A poignant piece and sad in my opinion. The narrator places a great deal of personal happiness upon another which is of course, entirely futile. Happiness comes from within and if not defeating, at least making peace with, the inner child and its demons. Nobody can live up to standing on a pedestal and the high standard of making "you" happy and content. That is your job solely. The narrator in this poem has so much "hope" that this lover will never be able to accomplish for him/her.

Good job and very thought provoking work. The honest desperation is palpable.
If this were a real person I'd suggest therapy.


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Review of Moon.  
Review by Canis Lupis
Rated: E | (3.0)
I am not sure why Moon (which is singular) is being rendered as if plural here. The poem would work as well with the Moon being one instead of many (which it is in Earth's case).

I like the free verse style and the thoughtfulness of the piece though.


Moon talked to herself
dreaming up a world where, maybe,
She'd not be alone.
A world where there was someone -
Anyone -
She could call home.


just a suggestion
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