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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vastowen456
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11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by vastowen456
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
This is an odd story, but a decent one nonetheless. It's entirely dialogue, so I assume that was what you were going for? A couple times, I got confused as to who was speaking and had to work it out.

On the fourth line, you missed an ending quotation mark.
"Who’s rules?'" should also have a starting quotation mark. And although "Who's" makes sense, it should be Whose. Who's is actually a contraction of "who is" or "who has."

"But, why?'" Another missed quotation mark.
"How’d you get behind me!'" should have a question mark, or both.

Other than that, good job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
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Review of Reflections  
Review by vastowen456
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great poem. I love it dearly. It made me think about the one I loved and lost recently, so maybe that's why it's struck me in the heart, but either way, thank you for this masterpiece.

The only thing I have to say is that maybe you should use more commas / periods in it to make it easier to read, but it might be a stylistic choice to not.

Again, thank you. I'd make a badge for you if I had more GPs.

I particularly like the latter fourth, and the ending two lines.

Thank you. Please continue writing poems.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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3
Review of Anxiety  
Review by vastowen456
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this poem. I understand the feeling, so it speaks right to me. Good job- there's not really anything to nitpick here.
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Review of Deserted  
Review by vastowen456
Rated: E | (2.5)
Short and sweet. Good twist to Lucy not being a person, but a dog.

However, there's a few errors. The quotation marks weren't closed, and the word luxuriating doesn't fit where you put it. It'd also flow better if you removed "were" from the first sentence.
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