I dont like do rate poetry much, but like this one. It is written well and has a good theme.
Best of luck in your new adventure it is worth it, even though at times it will seem overwhelming, just remember that this person will become everything and other things will seem so small in comparison.
I was going to say something about the form..but heck, its a great sentiment and I feel you completely. I have a nine year old grandson, but my baby just had his first baby.
Could have been a tad shorter, but I am not good with poetry. It would have been a great poem with just words about the ladybug. I have to tell you though, believe it or not, I have seen moths, that are absolutely beautiful. Colorful and just amazing to look at. The contrast in the poem to me, clouded the pleasantry and admiration of the ladybug. You cant compare something so vibrant and alive, to things that annoy people, well you can, I just felt it took something away from what you were writing about.
My sister used to like lady bugs she would have loved this poem, and she actually would have known more about poetry.
Great poem on Stars. I have read quite a few poems on Stars but none with such visuals..
"Amidst the brisk, nightly chill
Of a quiet and peaceful valley,
Bright speckles of light shimmer
And dot the evening sky –"
Your word usage and descriptive tone sets a great scene for this poem.
If you took the "and out of the last line, 2nd verse..it might read better. Its almost an after thought, but an important line.
great pictures..I love taking pictures of my travels as well. These are really great shots. I have a great appreciation for this over any style of writing.
Fun to me is interaction in things I enjoy doing, I have very eclectic tastes so that could be listening to music alone to discussing music with someone who really has an appreciation for it.
It could be learning something new in Photography or getting a really good shot that I had never gotten before.
It could also be blowing a piece of glass or fusing a piece of glass that actually LOOKS like the design in my head. Such a difficult process.
But my favorite thing is to relax with people I like and talk, perhaps enjoy a movie or show.
The article was good, but needs to be simplified more for casual readers to let them decide what is fun and not make it as clinical. Fun is enjoyment...make the paper clinical but relaxed.
I like this perspective. I really do.
The writing is really nice, the only problem I see is that people might not identify with it. The first paragraph is great.
I liked that...I really did. I see you like Christmas almost as much as I do.
It flows better if you take the "ivy" out of poison berries and you have three in the line "three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes" twice..not sure thats right.
I have been in recovery a very long time now. I can honestly say that in those years very few have made it any length of time without surrendering their will to God.
While people do that, I always recommend that they know some basics, like their triggers and that they make the appropriate changes to their lives so they, over time, do not relapse. It is very easy to do. Stay strong and do those three things.
It has worked well for me. I actually love my life now, but it took some major changes and I had to make some amends. I didn't get to them all, so I wrote them out and read them to the people out loud. But I did what I could.
Then I forgave myself. Thats the hardest part..and you can move on from there.
This is a long road. Make sure you have an understanding though, even with Go9d by your side (as I do, that you understand your triggers and how you need to rework your life.
Ive been doing this a very long time, not many that atay successful in recovery do so without faith in something other than themselves. Some have to come to grips with God, but in the end, giving up your will to God is one of the key principles and a step in recovery.
Make amends to those you can and follow the word..it will guide you. I wish you the greatest success in recovery.
Well, let me add, since this article was written a publication has come out (I do not have the reference offhand-but you can look it up) that most young adults ( and some older adults, cannot name all three branches of government, let alone the powers of each.
This is disturbing. People can tell you the fist and second and maybe even the 14th amendments because they are so hotly debated, but cannot name a single other either Bill of Right OR Amendment. For example, what is the 8th Amendment w/o looking?
Everyone kind of knows the 5th Amendment but what about the 4th Amendment? These are all inherent rights that can be stripped away at any time. They are not a guarantee. IT would be contested in the courts, but with a packed court, who knows?
There is a problem within our government and no matter which side you stand on, it is removing the right of the citizens to have a say in their government. It is not your Congress but by people much darker and more powerful than them. This is not a conspiracy theory, I dont believe in those, it is fact.
Strap in, you will be in for quite a ride over the next 4 years.
The answers to the questions in case you did not know them and care; 8th Amendment-cruel and unusual punishments law among other things. This will be put to test by new President by request of citizens who want this for illegal immigrants AND GITMO, in addition to other prisoners. Argumentative, but it is a Constitutional right
4th Amendment- unreasonable search and seizure, will be challenged by President Trump with the Stop and frisk law. Also has be ruled unconstitutional in NYC.
Just saying if you want 2nd amendment rights, you cant repeal the rest.
This made me laugh, actually laugh. Wow, I wish our leaders could have such honesty." I think it is clear by this point that, by no fault of our own, my administration is nearly at a loss at how to handle the mindless terrorist actions taking place in out great Nation. There is next to nothing that one can do to fight this kind of evil on fair and just grounds and win. When your enemy won't follow simple ethical rules of engagement the rules that you follow have to be stretched to accommodate their way of fighting. It is a sad day in America when we have to resort to this type of reaction but there is no other options left to us."
Great satirical piece of work. I really enjoyed this and it was written well.
So funny..especially given the current political climate.
I wish I was able to write this way. Loved it, such levity on such a
screwed up situation. Political debate, no truth, none.
You know I liked this for its content, mostly because it was for LGBTQ rights and the right to be free of persecution. I have had friends that were gay since high school in the 70s. They had to pretend the girls in our group were their girlfriends and we girls all had boyfriends out side of school. IT was difficult at times. I can remember the fighting on the few times people did find out, but usually they were also gay (just werent aware at that time) or lesbian.
My best friend died in 1999, we had been friends since 1977. I have a very good friend from that group of high school friends that 39 years later we are still in contact at least once a week. He is happy and married. \
In the coming times, please be safe.
Nice poem..I am a white person and while I do agree with the second amendment, it is a right to bear arms. I DO NOT agree with open carry laws and ANY multiple fire weapons except for military use. I also agree with stiffer gun control laws and updating the tracking system for permits (they still use a paper system).
This of course leads to the question of a military state, and our Founding document obligation to defend from, but Its a long debate and one I don't want to argue on here.
While gun control is a good thing, you will find this year people who opposed our current President are going to lose many of our rights, some of which MAY be 1st amendment, NONE of which will be 2nd amendment.
Hang in there.
I am not much of a poet. But I want to add that while the subject matter was sad, it was truth.
Thank you for writing this and I hope one day people understand what they have done.
"Such a belief let Whites still consider
themselves devout Christians and unsullied
by a heinous action they deliver
while quoting scripture to those they bullied."
1998-Clinton Impeached
1999-2002-Deregulation of Wall Street by Clinton and Bush
2000- Gore wins popular vote but Bush wins electoral vote by 537 votes
2003- Bush and Cheney lie to enter Iraq and take Suddam Hussein
2005-2006- Mortgage deregulation by Bush
2008- Obama elected president and inherits 1.3 trillion deficit and economic meltdown.
2010-Obamas PPACA passed, since that time, the Legislative branch has spent millions trying to defeat it.
2011-Obama orders Osama Bin Laden killed in a night raid. But never shows the body.
2013-over 9,000 Documents leaked from a contractor for NSA named Edward Snowden. Showing that the US government is acting illegally against US Citizens and other nations. This also reveals that CIA director Clapper committed perjury under oath at Senate hearing and nothing is done.
2015- 2016 US Presidential race begins in what will be known as the worst (and longest) in US History. Primarily due to private and creative funding.
2016- FBI director leaks to press a letter he sent to Congress about an investigation 11 days before election. Later it is found some members of FBI have had correspondence with Russian intelligence, as did president-elects staff. Investigation into election tampering is ongoing into 2017.
November 2016- Trump wins electoral vote. Clinton wins popular vote and the country is divided both culturally and of fear for freedom.
The article is well written but I thought I would add some more recent events.
thank you for the article.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wsucram15
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.26 seconds at 6:15pm on May 04, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
