Hansel and Gretel-Told the right way!!
Well we can say that my stepmother and father were a little bit poor. OK! OK! We were actually middle class in fact. Can you even believe that? I can’t even believe the words that are coming out of my mouth, even though they really are true! Well, here’s the real story of what happened between Gretel, my stepmother, my father, and me. Hopefully, I can actually remember how this all went since I always tell my friends the wrong story. No one would really believe me anyway if I told the real story. Well Ok! Enjoy Hansel and Gretel… Told the correct way!
Well, once upon a time, Gretel and I were sitting together in bed thinking about the endless fun that we had outside that day. We had gone to collect rocks near the river and I had collected over sixty rocks in my pocket before we went to finish off the day by going swimming in the river. While we were in our beds talking about all the different animals and plants that we saw near the river that day, we overheard that our parents were going to take us into the forest and just leave us there to die. Well, I figured that they must be just joking around so I thought to myself, “No big deal. It’s probably just another one of their jokes.”
The next morning they gave us not one piece of bread but a whole loaf to share amongst both of us. Well, just as they said, we left the house to go do some work deep in the forest but, the problem was, I had wore the pants that I had collected rocks in. After all of that sliding around in the dirt, my jeans had worn a hole just big enough for the rocks that I had collected to slowly fall out. By the time I figured out that all the rocks that I had collected were falling out, I had only about thirty rocks left. Soon after that, we reached a clearing in the woods and we started to make a tent, not a fire like the “story” says. We slept in the large canvas tent that we put up that night. When we woke up the next morning, we saw that our parents were gone, leaving only the tent for us, but, we thought that they had just went somewhere for the day without us.
Well, after Gretel and I were in deep thought about what to do, I remembered that my pants had a hole in it and I had left a trail of rocks. I told Gretel, “Aha! I’ve got it! My pants had a small hole in it and the rocks that we collected together fell out which left a trail. We can try to go back to the house and wait for them there. “We went to work trying to find the rocks that I had dropped by accident on the ground. After several minutes, we could not find one trace of the rocks that I had dropped. While we thought about what could have happened to them, we walked in circles as that would help us figure out what happened to the rocks. Well, while we walked in circles, our circles became larger and larger and soon, right in front of us, we saw a beautiful house made up of gingerbread.
Since it was nearing Christmas, we figured that someone around our neighborhood had a very keen sense of what was visually appealing to people. Being very good children, both Gretel and I didn’t dare try to break off any part of the house or destroy any part of it since, it was so visually intriguing. While we watched at a distance, still, with our mouths gaping wide open, we soon saw a real, talking, and life sized Gingerbread Man come out of the house. We quickly ducked behind a tree before his big peppermint eyes could supposedly hypnotize us. He went into his 100% gingerbread shed and pulled out a watering hose made of pure gingerbread. When the Gingerbread Man opened the nozzle, out came pure chocolate. We had both not eaten since yesterday and we started to get hungry. We tried to control ourselves as the temptation to jump out and start drinking the chocolate began to elevate.
After watering his garden, the Gingerbread Man took out his Gingerbread Lawnmower and he began mowing the green licorice which had just sprouted out of nowhere. As he began mowing the licorice, out of the lawnmower bag came out little puffs of flour. Now, I began to sense something was cooking with the lawnmower and the Gingerbread Man; I’m not kidding; literally!! After he had finished mowing his big licorice lawn, he opened up the lawnmower bag and he pulled out a smaller gingerbread man which was almost like the adult gingerbread man, except it wasn’t alive.
Now, while all this was happening, Gretel and I had begun to start drifting out from behind the safety of the tree. As both of our heads started drifting out, the Gingerbread Man sensed the movement and immediately darted his eyes over to us. As soon as we saw that the Gingerbread Man was looking at us, we began in run in the opposite direction. As we started running, the Gingerbread Man began to say in his low, but mischievous voice, “Come and join me for some lunch my friends!” Well just that voice made us both freeze in our footsteps.
Finally we gathered our courage and convinced ourselves that it was fine to join him for a little lunch before we went back to our step mother and father. As we stepped inside his house, we were immediately knocked right out cold by the really strong smell of gingerbread and, BOOM!, we hit the floor hard. What happened after that, we didn’t really know except that we were sitting in chairs in the Gingerbread Man’s living room later that day. As the Gingerbread Man served us some Ginger Tea, there was a knock at the door. He immediately grabbed the gingerbread cups out of our hands and pulled us up to our feet. As he tried to stuff us into the hot oven, we both tried to fight out of his strong, hard grasp that left a trail of brown crumbs on our wrists. Suddenly, there was a booming crash from the front of the house as the gingerbread door broke into pieces. When Gretel and I looked back, we saw our father with his ax that he used for chopping wood. As the Gingerbread Man started to shove our heads into the steaming oven, our father threw his ax. As it whistled through the air, it landed right through the body of the Gingerbread man before we went into the oven anymore. He immediately dropped to the ground and flour and sugar began to spread onto the cold, hard floor as the Gingerbread Man slowly disintegrated.
As Gretel and I began to get up on our feet, the flames from the oven began to leap out and catch fire on the dry wood started nearby, which was used to heat the fireplace. The Gingerbread Man’s house immediately began to go up in flames. As Gretel, my father and I darted through the front door, the flames began chasing us and we leaped out, doing a Matrix-like move! No really! We were floating and turning and when we finally reached the ground, the Gingerbread Man’s house was engulfed in flames, never to be seen again.
As Gretel, my father, my step mother and I began walking home, my step mother apologized that she had ever left us by ourselves and that she would never do that again. When I asked my father how he had found me, you would never believe his answer.
No, his answer wasn’t he was that he was psychic! His real answer was that: “I followed the path of rocks that Hansel had left from the rest of the rocks he had in his pocket. The rocks had continued to fall out!!!”
Everyone lived happily ever after again! Yes! Even the step mother lived to tell the story even though she doesn’t want to tell “The Real Deal!” All of my family members are really very nice and very thoughtful.
Well, I hope you enjoyed the real story of Hansel and Gretel, told by me, Hansel! I think I got all the details right! I hope you enjoyed this and tell your friends the true story of Hansel and Gretel!