I want the same person I fall asleep with to be the one I see in my dreams.
|Author's note: Sorry, this is very short. It's been a while and I just needed to get back into the characters' heads.
My Best Friend
Today is a special day for me. I like special days, I mean I have to admit, my life has become full of routine, so it's good to wake up knowing that today is different. Well, actually, today is not that different, it's only a small thing that makes it special, but you get the idea.
It's mine and Jasmine's three months anniversary. Three months isn't a long time, I know, but we can still celebrate, right? So we have made plans for a romantic dinner and then a romantic night at Jasmine's. I should really move out of this dorm. Every time we're planning a romantic night we go to Jasmine's, because really, how much romance can you get in a dorm room? Anyway, that's not the point.
These three months have been good. Not great, but good. Jasmine's been great, it's me who has issues and has brought everything down. I think you know what I'm talking about, or actually, who I'm talking about, but I'm not gonna think about her any more. Not today. I promised to myself that the only girl in my thoughts today is Jasmine. I mean I have to start working harder to make our relationship work. So far I've paid most of my attention to the physical part, but that's not the guy I want to be. I don't want to use Jasmine.
But it's not all my fault. I can't help my feelings, I can't control them. Or at least that's what I keep saying to myself. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe it would be for the best if I were wrong. So, from today on, I'm going to work harder. More than anything I want the same person I fall asleep with to be the one I see in my dreams.
Or is it the other way around?
No. I can't go there again.
* * * * * * * * * *
I have a very important decision to make right now. I plan to spend the evening reading about psychology of money. Technically school's over for this year, but it's an interesting subject for reading. More importantly, it's a safe subject. I doubt George Simmel has any love stories hidden in his text. Love stories are the reason why regular books are out of question. Or, I guess, I could read a book about animals, it's people that I'm a little allergic to today.
But I'm getting carried away. I have my reading material ready, it's music I still have to decide on. Remember, my big decision? I know, I'm being ridiculous, but the truth is that it's old news. My life has been somewhat ridiculous for a while now. It finally hit me today – the day my friend celebrates his three months anniversary with his girlfriend.
So, to keep me from wallowing, I'm focusing on safe topics like books and music. Except that they're not that safe, they're sneaky and they're not on my side today. I was listening to some radio station before and once it started playing Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me" I had enough.
These are the lyrics that describe Colin's and Jasmine's evening tonight and I have no part in that. Well, not that I wanted to be a part of that, because that would be a little too kinky, but you know what I mean.
So here I am, trying to find some music to go with my reading, that wouldn't bring me down any more than I already am. I think Swedish trance would be a pretty safe pick, because trance music doesn't really sound that heartbreaking. And I don't know if trance music has lyrics or not, but if it does and if they were about true love or something like that, it would be in Swedish and I wouldn't understand it. Interestingly though, I don't have any Swedish trance in my collection. I guess I'll be shopping for new CD-s tomorrow.
Or maybe I'll be okay again tomorrow. It's today that I'm having difficulties with. Like I already mentioned, Colin and Jasmine are celebrating today. It's not that the fact that they've been together for three months that bothers me, it's the fact that they're celebrating. It doesn't matter what they're celebrating, it could be three weeks anniversary of buying new socks, but what matters is that they're together. They're sharing their lives with each other, they're creating new traditions together. Or maybe I lied, this is different from new socks. They're celebrating having found each other, being there for each other, being happy with each other.
And what kind of a friend am I if I'm miserable over my best friend's happiness? It needs to stop, I want my life to be a little less ridiculous. So I turn to my school things. This is what I'm good at. This is what I do.