Different

Part poem, part prayer, part middle of the night reflection about wanting to be different

Dear God,
I want to be different but,
As I walk the halls day to day,
I feel the same as every one else.
I want to be kind all the time.
I want to change the world for the better.
I want to be remembered as someone,
Someone who wasn’t afraid to go against the grain.
I want to be a ‘roaring lamb’.
I want to make you proud of me,
But I can’t seem to do enough.
I want to make myself proud of myself.
Sometimes I’m my toughest critic.
I don’t want to fall into a strive of popularity.
I don’t want to be the same as everyone else,
Yet I find myself comparing myself to others.
I want to realize I have talents but,
I only see what I can’t do.
I want to reach the unreachable peak,
But I feel as if I never get any higher.
I want to be understood, but
In a way I don’t want people to fully understand me.
] I want to understand myself
(It’s harder than you’d think).
How do I quench these wants?
How can I reach my goals?
How can I be myself?