Eye of Aurora

A boxed in world 4 Lily @ the Fuschia [mental hospita].......<--o_0--

Note: Sorry I didn't have the time ta italicize n all that stuff...but there's a lotta Lily's thinkin......

Eye of Aurora

From Da Diary of Lily Synx:

There’s nothing I want more than 2 escape from this bottomless pit. This everlasting nightmare. I wish I had enough faith in myself 2 move the big boulders in front of meh. I wish I could escape from the Fuchsia and start a new lyfe. 4eva. Rite. Now.

There was only one chair and one bed in my cell. And four big mirrors. One on each wall. I always had the insecure feeling of being monitored; always had the feeling of chains all over me binding me down. Always. Jeez, I always thought nightmares had an end. Guess mine doesn’t…

I watched Bob as he unlocked my door and I shrank back as I saw the electric cuffs he held. Here we go again…Another day, another talk.

“Get up, we have business to attend to,” he said lifelessly. Everyone that worked here obviously had nothing better to do with their life than hang around retarded people all day. Of course, I wasn’t messed up or anything. I was “normal”. I swear. I AM normal. I HAVE always BEEN normal. And yet, my school sent me here. And what kinda parents agree to send their kid, their ONLY kid to the Fuchsia. Well, what matters is that I’m here no matter how hard I tried to fight the system.

“C’mon Lily! I still have a coffee break to get to.” I slumped standing as I held my arms out so he could cuff the electric cuffs on. I hated those cuffs. They shocked every time fear swept through my body. Every time. And it was pretty easy to get scared in a place like this. VERY easy.

Bob reopened the door to my little boxed up prison and tugged me through. I saw quick glimpses of the lonely faces as I walked past them. Some clung onto the bars trying to break free, grabbing and laughing hysterically at us. If I WAS crazy, I wasn’t as crazy as everyone else here.

I was just here temporarily. They didn’t really think that I, Lily Synx, would actually murder people, and set buildings on fire. Did these people really think I was mental and dangerous?? I mean, they don’t have proof that I did ANY of it. And I didn’t.

If I really was dangerous, I would be in
a prison right now. The only reason I was in this messed up mental hospital was because of my parents. They just couldn’t see their only kid go to prison. (And they were rich. Period.) “Turn right,” grunted Bob as he shoved me right and into a dark room with one dangling light above a table. “Here she is Adam,” Bob said as he thrust me into Adam’s hands. Adam was pretty tall considering he was only sixteen. “Rich and in charge of you,” read his name tag. Wow, someone’s a bit full of himself…

“Excellent. You are now excused Bob,” the Adam guy mentioned as Bob was shut outta the room. “Please, take a seat,” he gestured. I plopped myself on a black iron chair and found myself staring into the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. It was the only chair in the room just like I was an only child. Jeez, everything in this place was booby-trapped. “So, tell me about your life,” he started with his hands folded neatly on the table. Jeez, he looks like sucha idiot. Does he really think he can get me to say anything about anyone…anything. Besides, I’ve got nothing to hide. Jeez, he’s so smiley today…

“There’s not much to say.”

“Well then. Please be kind enough to tell me the reason you were sent here,” he said, well, more like demanded.

“After you tell me how much you get paid to do this crappy job. Seriously! Do you actually think you’re a good interrogator?”

“That’s none of your business. Changing the subject won’t get this done any faster Lily. I’d suggest you be a good girl and ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.”

“Or what?” I threatened.

“You have no idea what I can do to you,” he sneered in my face as he leaned closer to me in his desk.

“Lemme guess. You plan to do illegal things to me if I don’t talk up.”

“It’s all legal baby.”

“Bastard,” I muttered under my breath.

“You do remember this is all recorded under my desk and your parents are gonna get sent a copy. Right?”

“Of course,“ I lied. “And I don’t think they’d be very happy that you called the person that you’re interrogating ‘baby.’”

“I may be sixteen, but do you think I’m THAT stupid? Ever heard of editing? Probably not. Don’t expect someone like you to know.”

“I know more than you. I can at least land myself with a better job.”

“Now, I’m gonna ask ONE more time. Why were you sent here?”

“I can’t say,” I mumbled.

“And is that because you don’t know?”

Silence.

“Or you’re too afraid to say?” he asked trying to pry for answers. What is he looking for anyways??!!?? Whatever it is, I’m not an idiot and won’t fall into his traps. I know his kind all too well…“Or too embarrassed maybe? Remember, there are a lot more people here that are more psychotic than yourself.” Uh-huh suurreee, you bastard. Now you call me psychotic.

“Well, sir, I did have this one problem,” I said gravely starting to breakdown.

“Go on, you can tell me anything,” he said leaning over on the table again.

Tears forced themselves out of my eyes as I stood up from the chair. Out of the corner of my tear-stained eyes, I could see a little recorder taped under the table. “Well, well, well, when I was, just, just a little girl, I grew up being teased. I was always an outsider and was always bullied by bigger kids.” You’re getting good with this whole deception thing Lily…

“Go on,” he urged intently.

“Ohhh, it was horrible. I would go home to my parents every night crying. I always feared school. Alwayyssss,” I wailed as more
tears spilled from my eyes.

“Then did your parents do anything about it?” he asked never losing eye contact.

“They were, they were too too busy to care. They were so wrapped up in their business and their life to give a damn about me,” I screamed as I slammed my fists on the table. One inch closer…c’mon girl. “I hated everyone. I hated every fuckin person in this world!” My tears had stopped and my anger started boiling up. True, I did hate my parents, but I hated this Adam dude WAY more. In fact, I hated a LOT of people right now. Even some of my old friends that didn‘t wanna be apart of anyone who was thrown into a mental hospital. Ruin their reputation or whatever…“I had no friends all the way until middle school. And then my best friend Cal back in 6th grade… betrayed me.” No lie there.

“And Cal, whatever happened to him?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it…” I muttered under my breath as I crossed my arms and held them to myself. Sucker… I was never lying, but I was never really telling the truth. If I learned one thing by being surrounded by idiots day after dreary day, it’s that crying sets every individual apart. Everywhere, they always tell you that crying is meaningless and it’s not actually. It shows that you care about things enough. Even if you cry for someone, it means they actually mean something to you. YOU wouldn’t know. Bastard.

By now, I was pacing around the room waiting for the perfect second to go in for the bomb. Life was ticking away as my eyes kept staring at the floor. Adam’s eyes were really creeping me out…I lunged in a split second and tore it off and chucked it out the door. But in reality, his hand grabbed mine as I collided on a floor.

“Now, there’s a badd little girl. She doesn’t want her parents to see how naughty she’s been!” he growled into my ear.

“Get. Offa. Me!” I screamed as I kicked him in the crotch and darted for the door. I never really was a runner…but if my friends could see me now, they’d be oh so proud. I picked the lock as fast as my clip would go as Adam just laid on the ground trying to recover. I took off and ran without ever looking back.

Running…running…running…Where I was going. I didn’t give a care. Did I really think I could escape. Yea…1 outta a million. 1 outta a trillion…Running…running…running…I could hear sirens going off all throughout the building. Ringing. Ringing for me. Ringing. Ringing. Running…running…running. There really was nowhere lefta go in this retarded world. I was surrounded by paranormal idiots and “mental” people and I HAD to escape. Running…running…running to the pits of nowhere. But still running…running…running…My life flashed by clouded with all the people and faces, all the idiots and morons.

My life ran ahead of me and left me in the dust. The sirens kept ringing…ringing…ringing…At that moment I felt drugged, ripped of all feeling and sight. I could feel all the falls caving in on meh, the sirens ringing…ringing…and ringing…, but yet I kept running, running, running till I found myself. Hope was the little light at the end of this very long tunnel and I looked on. I battled the excruciating walls that kept coming in, closer and closer and closer. In one final lounge, I sprang to the light, only to fall midway. And then, there it was…I started fading…fading back into the darkness. My heart ripped out of my numb body as the world came crashing down on me…Their faces blocking my entrance, them…

The drugs eventually kicked in from the dart they shot at me. My head still felt woozy as I woke up to the bright light shining on my face. I had no recollection of where I was or what I had been doing. “Don’t try to remember anything. It’s futile at this point,” came a raspy voice across from me. And the voice belonged to none other than Adam. “We erased your memory as far back as it would go. But you’re a hard little thing. Your mind kept tugging and tugging on your memories and wouldn’t let go, so you will still have knowledge of your past. You will only have fragments though.”

“Wha-” I started as he continued.

“The scientists here have decided to take you in to take, to test out Inzabam. It is a drug that comes with side effects, but a good girl like you can handle anything,” he hissed emphasizing on anything. I bit down on my lip as my hands went instantly to give him a whack in the head or a good kick where the sun don’t shine. But he was a smart one, he actually toke advantage of the chains that were on every wall here.

“What’s the side affects?” I bit down through gritted teeth making a few drops of blood trickle down my lip.

“Ah, now we’re talkin!”

“I’m not gonna ask you again! What. ARE. The. SIDE. AFFECTS?”

“Now, now, you must’ve forgotten who’s in charge here. In case you’re mind’s still woozy, you’re the one in chains and I’m the one laughing at you,” he snarled starting to laugh. Mocking me, but I didn’t give a care. I just hang there patiently trying to suppress my anger. My anger that I kept within me deep down at the core of my existence was about to explode, but I couldn’t do a goddamn thing.

“OK, let’s just leave the side affects a little surprise for you considering I don’t wanna spoil your fun,” he said getting up to leave. I normally would’ve stopped him but the lil dude and dudette in my head puzzled over life and what was just about to happen…

Dude: LILY, don’t let your anger get the best of you!! Adam’s justa idiots and there’s probably NO drug at all so just be a-

Dudette: DUDE, DID YOU HEAR HOW THAT GUY SAID SURPRISE! AND FUN!!!!!!!! It’s something BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude: Jeez, you’re so clueless. Didn’t you hear all of Adam’s hints?! This is all a dream….so go back to sleep!

Dudette: I’M clueless. Talk about you! This isn’t a dream, it’s a nightmare! She’s trapped and in too deep. Oh! How I miss my friends! An-

Dude: YOU’RE friends?! I think you mean MY friends.

Dudette: NO, I don’t recall Cal ever being YOUR friend!

They started fighting and rolling around in my brain which didn’t help my dizziness one bit.

I just hung there totally confused and dazed by the light until two men all in black unlocked the cell door and undid my chains. I wanted a good fight, but my body was completely against it. I mind lolled around in the back of my head as they dragged me past countless corridors all with steel black doors. This was the west side of the Fuschia…and who knew what lay beyond the walls. Well, I knew, but knowing isn’t the same as remembering.

They dragged me into the lab and sat me, threw me upon the cold marble floor. Man, I was treated worse than an animal these days. With all these tests and experiments, I would eventually die, and no one at all would give a care. I started to move around in the dark so my hand started hitting random places in the room. It wasn’t before long before the world started literally closing in. The walls were all coming closer and closer and closer…

And then with one scream or release, I took off. I had no idea where I was going or what in the world I was doing. But I kept on going and going until dizziness kicked in. I had always admitted defeat to dizziness, but I wouldn’t let it get the best of me this time. I rounded the corner clutching my head, battling my own private fear. The virus in my head was quickly spreading. It was chewing me inside and out. The little dude in my head was arguing with the lil girl in my head and they were causing my system total chaos and pain. I went absolutely numb as a lay squirming on the floor. My whole body couldn’t move, but the little people in my head kept fighting and fighting until I heard a scream of agony pierce the glass up above. It wasn’t before long that I realized it was my own and my dizziness faded into the deepest depths of my brain. I didn’t surrender to the virus…but I didn’t win the fight either…

I kept my eyes open like they wouldn’t close and felt the world’s darkness all caving in upon me drowning me in it’s foul twisted misery. All the mixed feelings were overwhelming. I wasn’t sure why I still existed. All I knew was that I was looking for paradise. Paradise…happiness…the very far light at the end of the tunnel. A way out. Out of this hellish foggy pit of eternal blackness. For quite some time, I’ve tried to thrust out to no avail. It was all the same people and faces that stayed and stayed. They never changed and I just dared to break free. Free of the sameness that clouded all around me. Acting like I should become one of them.

They thrust me down and chained me up. Stopping me from destiny. Stopping time. Stopping differences. Still carrying the weighted chains, I walked day after day toward the light which is pretty well guarded. Putting up a fight, I knocked them out one by one still having my destiny ahead. Who knew if it was fate. If I did die upon reaching the light, as least I’d be away from these freaks and all the sameness. Upon the last road, there were two notes: GO LEFT and surrender to death said one. GO RIGHT and follow the light said the other. I started to follow right and the light was overwhelming and was so new it knocked the daylight out of me. I started seeing two angels…then triple…then quadruple…5...6...7...8...the dizziness mixed with light was so new and yet so similar to the darkness…

Light hit every patch of my body, and yet I felt to broken. My parents sent me…ME…to test out drugs?! Is that how they intended me to live my future?! Ok, so I had no idea where I was; just that there was a guy walking a lonely dirt path up to me. The words upon his forehead seemed to practically scream “I walk alone…”. In fact, I couldn’t remember much, but this guy looked an awful lot like Cal. Cal, wow I hate him sooo much. Maybe he’s why I’m here in the first place. Then why does some lonely part of my heart still love him? After all the pain and guilt? But how? HOW?!

This guy kept walking and walking as if nothing else existed. I just sat there drowning in his deep blue eyes and felt more lost than I have ever been. He kept on walking and I just kept on losing myself. “Cal?” I whispered hoarsely as he approached.

He just kept on walking, like I didn’t exist. After walking a few feet past me, he spun around so sudden it caught me off guard and his eyes shot daggers in my eyes. They looked so much like Cal’s, but the spark soon faded like the spark of lightning. He turned back around with his blank eyes and walked towards me, then just went through me. I was so dazzled by it at first, but then pain kicked in. I had absolutely no idea what was happening, but one more look at Cal and his eyes were completely gone…

“Dude, Lily!” shouted my friend Ryan as I instinctively leapt up from m chair in the room.

“Miss Synx, would you care to tell us all what has been so fascinating in that head of yours?” hissed Mrs. Grar.

“Um, sorry, the-it must’ve been the new drugs they injected,” I started. “Last night…yea. Sorry,” I finished up hesitantly as Ryan tried to contain his laughter from spilling out.

“Thanks a lot,” I whispered over at Ryan as he just sat there with his idiotic smirk.

“No problemo, that’s what friends do right?” he laughed.

“Third time this week…” I mumbled as I started to copy down the notes from the whiteboard. Ok, I know I shouldn’t have been dozing in a mental hospital school. It’ll be longer till they let me go I guess. Jeez, I’ve been getting so accustomed to this place’s freakiness it’s freakin me out.

States of Mind
1) There is no life beyond here.
2) You are completely normal.
3) You are just here to find your inner spirit.
4) There is no falling out of line here.
5) We watch every move you make here.
6) Obey or be severely punished.
7) Don’t think… it corrupts the mind.


Ok, so I tried not to think, but it was so hard to follow the rules when they kept telling you to not think or anything. It was so weirdly confusing. So I kept copying these boring lectures without trying to think. Mrs. Grar kept talking and talking and I kept doodling with my sharpie. I even started writing little things on my pants since I ran out of paper.

"Attention class! I will be right back. I must pick up a new student whom will be joining us," Mrs. Grar stopped to say. "The monitors and mind controls will be watching your every move, so don't try anything stupid. Got it?"

Everyone just nodded as they all continued to go about their own thing. But once she walked out the door, the class became a party. "Um, Andy, shouldn't you turn the controls off?" I whispered to him.

"Nah, doesn't matter anymore. The people that watch over us are idiots and don't even give a damn about what we do. They're all programmed wrong," he replied hastily as Mrs. Grar returned trailing a guy behind him.

"Everyone, this is Blaze. Blaze, meet...everyone." All eyes immediately fell upon Blaze who had black spiky hair with red tips and deep blue eyes. All the girls suddenly started drooling over him. It was sucha messed up sight to see. "Will anyone care to show Blaze around?" Mrs. Grar asked the class.

All the girls' hands went flying up like the world was gonna end. I just went back to doodling as I heard the Graranator call my name. "Mrs. Synx, since you don't seem so busy, will you care to show Blaze Repin around?"

"Um, I am kinda busy..." I started.

"Doodling I suppose?" she asked wickedly as her mouth went into a nasty turned up line.

Defeated, I got up and started walking to the front of the room as I felt all the girl's eyes on me. "Have fun!" my friend Cassi whispered over to me as I just smirked.

"That's more like it Mrs. Synx. Since this is the last period of the day, would be ever so kind to show Blaze after his dorm afterwards?" I just nodded as I started walking out of the classroom motioning Blaze to follow suit. Wow, she seemed really happy to get rid of me.

"So...how'd you find this place?" I asked after awhile of awkward silence.

"I dunno. I saw some light after riding with my friend to his house for a party some night ago. It was really weird. This whole place is weird...I think-"

"Hold on," I hissed at him as I led him by the arm and pulled him into a nearby closet after checking to see no cameras were buzzing around nearby.

"Um, do we have to hide out in here or what? It's a little too close for comfort," he smirked.

"Wait, so there's-"

"I know I am irresistible, but is hiding out in the closet really necessary?" I just rolled my eyes at his stupid remark.

"Dude, I don't fall for jerks like you," I glared at him as I kept going on with what I was saying earlier. "So there is an outside world?"

"Well, this place isn't even on maps so how the hell am I supposed to know if this is some twisted version of Heaven or something. My friend could've got us into a car accident or some other-"

"Alright, I'm gonna show you around this place, but be careful. They're watching you always," I warned him.

"Who's they?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Um, them. That's what we've been calling them since..." I said peeking out of the closet one more time.

"So...do you plan on showing me around this place today?"

"Oh yea, that. Sure. Not much to show though," I said as I cautiously pushed both of us back out. "Don't trust anyone here," I whispered to him as I started leading him around the school.

"Not even you?" he asked catching my arm as he caught up with me.

"Nah, I can barely trust myself anymore these days. The drugs are wiping my mind away. But I don't wanna say anymore. They're watchin. Um, so here's the laboratory," I explained pointing to a locked door at the other side of the school. "You want to avoid going in there unless they tell you to."

"Why would they tell us to go in that place?" he asked curiously.

"Well, you'll find out soon enough," I grinned proud that I knew more than someone else for once in my life.

"Yea, sure whatever you say Lily," he said as he plopped down on the floor. "This is so boring."

"Here, your dorm's across from the building over there. Ok? If ya need anything else, PLEASE don't hesitate to call," I bite down as he went on his way.

"Why do you hate me so much when you've only known me for ten minutes or so?"

"I don't hate you."

"Yea, you do."

"I DON'T"

"Sure, but we both know the-"

"If you keep insisting that I hate you, then I DO," I said before turning back to go to my locker to grab my books.

"Wait, you're not gonna assist me back to my dorm?" he asked looking at me with those sad blue eyes.

Sighing, I walked out into the pouring rain with him following close behind. I dropped him off at his dorm and went back to get my books. Classes were all supposed to still be in session, but it seemed like I was the only person actually there. Hmm, it must've been the loneliness in the hallway...Wait, could it be the drugs again? How did the dream thingy seem SO real? How did it know? Wait, do you think they know? About Cal, about my past? Are they THAT smart?

Thoughts ran through my head as the bell awoke me and I continued walking cautiously to my locker.