|The agony was too much. I never cried so hard, my thoughts were scattered, I was confused and angry all at once.
I knew about the outcome of this but yet I was obstinate and had to have my own way. I sat at the edge of my bed with tears flowing down my pale cheeks; the sun stood still with it’s gleaming glow. It was as though it was punishing me for what I had done. The world scorned me.
Tim and I had been married for several years. Together we started our family, little by little we built ourselves the perfect home or so we thought. As the days went by, "Tim was forced to work out of town to help feed and support the family". Like any wife I supported him and his decision. The nights seemed endless and the days kept crawling. I was forced to spend my lonely nights crying the dry tears. I miss my husband so dearly, I longed for the kisses and the tender touch.
A typical day out with friends changed my mind about everything I once felt for my husband.
“Mark,” the voice said softly.
I turned slowly with a question written on my face.
“I beg your pardon?” He looked straight into my eyes; I could feel the stare piercing my skin.
“Mark,” he repeated. My name is Mark, I live just a few blocks away from you, and I’m sorry if I stared too hard but I was taken back by such radiant beauty.”
I blushed, with a smirk on my face I got up and introduced myself,
“Elizabeth,” I said.
I still couldn’t believe it. I was already lost in his eyes, and his smile made me tingle all over. We spent the rest of the day lost in our passion and satisfying our desire.
Before I knew it Mark and I started hanging out together, he knew I was married but we both enjoyed each others company. We spent days together; thoughts of my husband barely crossed my mind. I was dangerously hooked on Mark. Nothing seemed possible without him…we had endless pleasure together. This was an affair that I was determined to live with. I was willing to give up my entire family for this man.
After a few months Mark decided he wanted to end this ‘fling,’ he wanted out. I was shocked I had already given him the best of me and now I was left heartbroken and befuddled. A few days later my husband returned home, I felt reprehensible, I was scared but I vowed not to let my guilty conscience ruin my marriage.
I spent most of my time longing for Mark; I rejected my husbands’ embrace I only wanted Marks’ touch.
The doorbell rang and I walked towards the door,
"It had been a telegram, and it was from an uknown name but it was address to me"
Who? I thought to myself.
It read, Mark died. Stop. He died peacefully. Stop. Package to follow.
“Mark died,” I whispered to myself.
I felt my stomach growl, suddenly I felt dizzy. I became instantly dumb, the walls looked as though it was closing in on me. I was spinning helplessly.
The package that followed had a letter from Mark, I made it up to my room with the aching pain ripping my organs out, the letter gripped tightly against my chest, my tears rushed helplessly down my cheeks as sat at the edge of the bed. He had left because of his illness an illness that killed him, he regretted every hurt he caused me but was happy that in his lifetime he met a woman such as me.
As I read the letter my husband came in only to find me slumped on the bed in tears, he took the letter from me but I was too ashamed to fight it back. He read with disbelief, his anger grew faster; he too broke down with tears of betrayal and hatred.
“Forgive me,” I pleaded with him.
The scornful look he gave me made me realize that our vows ‘for better for worst,’ were all just a sham. He hated me no less, I made him cry, the man I once loved I compared to a man I lust for.
I was alone and scorned amongst everyone. "It had been an excruciating affair. My rotting remains were a disgrace."
"Now I have to live with the guilt of what I had done."