Just what WOULD happen if we let kids eat what THEY wanted to eat?
A History for Finicky Eaters
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What would you do if your parents said,
“Don’t eat those peas, have these brownies instead,”
and then all of a sudden your peas disappeared,
and right in their place the brownies appeared?
“Jump for joy!” you say, or "Kiss mom with glee!"
Don’t be quite so sure. Come along, and you’ll see.
Many years ago, a long time whence,
this parents' idea had made so much sense.
For every time a dinner was served,
children’s faces would wrinkle at what they observed.
“Potatoes? Blech!” and “Broccoli? Yuck!”
How could parents expect them to eat all this muck?
Whine and grumble, grumble and whine,
the children often made it quite difficult to dine.
All they seemed to do during dinner was complain,
‘til one day parents said, “That’s it! We've had it! We’re going insane!”
“Forget the broccoli, the carrots, potatoes, and meat.
From this day all you’ll have is all that is sweet.
Just eat candy, cookies, brownies, and cakes.
We beg you, be quiet, for all of our sakes.”
The kids were so happy they let out a cheer,
“No more lettuce, tomatoes and corn on the ear!”
The decision was easy, for the reward was quite quick;
the children stopped fussing “Mom, peas make me sick!”
Protests then ceased with mouths stuffed with cake
and crunches of cookies which mom had just baked.
Boys and girls cheered, “Mom, you’re the best!” and “Dad, can’t you see?
We were right all along, now we’re as happy can be.”
Laws were then made to make parents comply,
“Don’t serve your kids veggies, you might make them cry.
No child under the age of sixteen
shall be served food that’s healthful, especially greens.”
There were drawbacks, of course, from the sugary deal,
as kids were wound up after every meal.
They jumped on their beds and bounced off the walls,
spinning around crazy, like wee human squalls.
But the parents knew they soon would be blessed;
later sugary treats caused the children to rest.
Many aches there were in their tummies and such.
All the junk food they ate was entirely too much.
Years later, though, the problems grew worse;
the weight of the children became quite a curse.
Large heaps of ice cream and mounds of moist cake;
ingredients to elephantine kids they did make.
Chairs at the schools were then made so much bigger,
as the old chairs had broken: children’s weight, the trigger.
Such games as dodge ball were no longer easy,
for children tried moving, but always felt queasy.
Sports were then outlawed, for there’s not much to do
when you try jumping on trampolines and always fall through.
The Olympics were cancelled when the marathon race
had a winner that won with a twenty-days pace.
Hips through the doorways they always did brush.
All schools were then closed, and brains turned to mush.
When the children arrived at the age of sixteen,
they were eager to try all the veggies they’d seen.
Quite sick they were now of cakes, cookies and all things like that,
but quite addicted they were now to foods that made fat.
Something had to be done, there was no longer doubt;
parents had to serve veggies, potatoes and trout.
So return to the grimaces and gripes parents must,
or all civilization was destined for dust.
Oh yes, it was far from an easy transition,
back to days kids had eaten their veggies and chicken.
Though parents again dealt with whining and pouts,
slumped shoulders of children, and unending shouts;
the children felt better than ever they had,
as waistlines grew smaller on each lass and lad.
Sports then came back with many great kicks.
And on again, at last, triumphant Olympics!
So the next time your mom serves up peas, don’t complain;
she does it for love and to save you from pain.
For those who enjoy parenting humor: