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Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Satire · #1162921
Republican running for re-election and trying not to be associated with the President.
Reporter: I have with me US Representative John Howard running for reelection in the 8th district.

John: Hi.

R: Do you believe the President's low approval ratings hurt your chances for reelection?

J: If the President and I were in the same party it might, but we are not.

R: You are a Republican.

J: Yes.

R: And so is the President.

J: Yes, but I am a member of Republican party of Rhode Island and he is a member of the National Republican party. Besides, I consider myself a member of no party.

R: You are running as a Republican

J: I had to. Independent candidates never win. I would have run as a Democrat, but they already have a candidate.

R: You are the incumbent. You've run as a Republican in the last four elections.

J: Look, at one point in time in my past, way before I ever heard of George W., I had to choose a party. I happen to like red, so I registered as a Republican. A member of the Republican party of Rhode Island I might add. I have no connection with the national party.

R: Your bumper stickers all say Paid for by the Republican National Committee.

J: Typo.

R: I pulled it from a box with the Republican National Committee listed as the return address.

J: They submitted the lowest bid.

R: And the RNC fund-raiser you went to last night?

J: I wondered in accidently. Rhode Island is a small state. I inadvertently attend almost every event in this great state.

R: And the fifty-thousand dollar contribution you received at the event?

J: It was a door prize.

R: A fifty-thousand dollar door prize?

J: I was at the right place at the right time.

R: Moving on. I cannot help noticing in your campaign picture, there is an arm around your shoulders, but the rest of the other person has been cut off.

J: Bad photographer.

R: We found a copy of the original. It's the President's arm.

J: Where did you find it?

R: It is on the White House Web page.

J: Damn. It means nothing. Just a photograph.

R: It seems to be a sign of support.

J: No, it's not. My shoulder caught on fire and the President put it out. He did nothing more than any other stranger would do for another stranger.

R: He used his right hand instead of the glass of water in his left hand?

J: His right hand was closer.

R: Neither of you seems to be in pain.

J: If you look really close, you can see the tears in our eyes.

R: Lets move onto your voting record. You generally voted with the President.

J: Just a coincidence.

R: 99.99% of the time?

J: It cannot be that high, I voted against his wishes many times.

R: Once.

J: But it was a very important vote. I stood up to the President and said this Representative is not a yes man to you.

R: The vote was to celebrating June as the national dog month.

J: How dare the President discriminate against the cat owners of Rhode Island.

R: And your campaign literature?

J: Highlights my difference with the President. My television ads will be coming out next week giving my reasons for voting against the Presidents dog month despite all the pressure from the White Hose. It shows I am an independent thinker and not part of the President's political machine.

R: This is reporter Joan Groves from the campaign headquarters of John Howard in the Cat Emporium.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1162921