Someone dear

an experince of losing a member of my family, a very dear one and I kenw latter.

It was so clear,
and everyone could see,
that I was losing someone dear.
At first, I wanted to keep it a secret, as it should be,
but on my cheek, it came so fast, that tear.

I told myself, "he's ok now, better and free.
I'll always miss him, but he's partly near.
I have to be strong because that's how he wanted me.
I can see his picture, so nice and clear"

But the problem is that I'm still so worried,
I don't know how I should think or feel.
I hardly believe that this has happened,
but I know it isn't a dream, it's real.

I don't know if I should think I'm stupid,
but I can't forget what they did, as it's a big deal.
And I can't say what I expected, as everything was rapid.
I try not to blame them, but I hope my wounds will heal.