love, family, loyalty, caring, survival, a daughter's love
| She started looking out for her mother when she was five years old. She is now thirty and things are pretty much the same. She loves her mother with all her heart and has finally come to terms with who her mother is as a person.
Her mother has struggled with many demons in her life and is now experiencing some calm in what had otherwise been a tumultuous journey. Although she had suffered from Bipolar Disorder most of her adult life her real problem came in the form of "Crack" cocaine. When she was four her mother and father separated and her mother decided to move back to the city which was where her family was and where she had grown up.
From what she had been told her mother grew up as a snob, having attended private school all her life, and did not socialize with the kids in her neighborhood, nor did she make too many friends at school. Mother did not smoke, drink, or drug during her early adult years and always associated with the right people. Mother was very attrractive, as she still is, and was never long without a male companion. She, Mother, married not too long out of high school to a "bad boy" by all standards but he was "fine" and had the gift of gab. He could really charm the pants off of anyone and he is still the same person now that he was then. Anyway they married. Mother loved his "street smarts" and rough around the edges persona. Once married, they waited three years before having a child, she was the light of their lives and they doted on her hand and foot. She was beautiful with quite a sunny disposition, rarely cried and laughed all of the time. She was precious, a definite joy.
Mother's reasons for having a child when she did was to save her marriage that was deteriorating rapidly. He was who Webster used as an example of what was meant by the word "narcissist,' today they call them "metro-sexuals." He never passed a mirror that he did not look at, always admiring his own reflection. He talked a lot and he smiled a lot, it was nauseating. He did more communicating with Mother's friends than she did and that created all kinds of problems. Plus, he could not keep "it" in his pants. He would cheat, get caught, cry a lot and then go out and repeat the same behavior again and again. It wasn't the cheating that bothered Mother so much but the realization that he would never be able to love another as much as he loved himself. That Mother couldn't live with. When he brought the new, two seater sports car that was it for her. He had a wife and family who would never be able to go anywhere with him in that car. What could he have been thinking...thinking of himself as usual. So Mother left him. Left a note on the credenza, got in her car along with her precious daughter and all that she could pack into it and drove back home to Mom and Dad. Mother picked up a six-pack of Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull, 24 ounce and thus began her drinking career so the story goes. Mother's arrival at her parents home came as a complete surprise having had no advance notice that she was coming for a visit, let alone to stay. Mother had never mentioned that they were having any problems at all, so of course, they thought that Mother had done something to him and for a long time did not belive the things that Mother was telling them about him.
Mother arrived at her parents house before they had gotten home from work and not having a key to get in and being drunk as hell, she plopped down on the chaise lounge on the porch and passed out. Mother had on a pair of cut-off shorts and a tank top, and there she lay sprawled out on the chaise with her little girl, who was four at the time, playing around in the front yard. She was very familiar with her grandparents home because that was where she spent every summer that she would remember. She began screaming and shouting when she saw her grandparents round the corner and begin to park their car. She was so excited to see them, she had lots to tell them. She had just been on a fabulous adventure with Mother. She told them how Mother drove fast, allowed her to eat fried chicken in the car and she was allowed to sit in the front seat of the car for the entire three hour drive to visit them. Wow, was she excited. Her grandmother tried to get Mother to get up and when she was finally successful, she the first question she asked was where was her husband. Grandmother proceeded to call him and ask him when did she start drinking, he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. All he would do was cry and say he had no idea why she had left, but she had better come back immediately or he would not take her back because she was not going to keep leaving him. Grandmother was startled and asked had Mother left before, he replied "no" but he didn't want to set a pattern. He was, in essence, an ass!