The story of my life, coming unglued and finding out what it takes to hold on.
| I remember laying on the ground next to Eric. I could feel him breathing in to my hair. Feel his hot breath, moist on my bare neck. In the distance, I could hear talking. It sounded rushed. Scared. Dire. It had come, Brian was gone. Eric sat up and asked what time it was, 2:02 am. My world seized to exist as "normal". My best friend and the one man who I knew loved me for me as me. Was dead.
Time became irrelevant to grief. The only thing that I understood is that I would never see him smile again. I would never see him walking towards me on the way to work. He on his way to Fantasy House and me on my way to Old Chicago. He sold porn and I served beers and pizza. Rarely did we speak on those early mornings in south Minneapolis. Mostly we passed and winked. Maybe when I had a little too much coffee I would wave my arms like a lunatic. Trying to get a smile out of someone who really didn't like the cold or morning. I got a kick out of him.
I met Brian several years before those early morning run ins. In fact, we met because of rock and roll. And yes, I lost most of my soul in rock and roll. Most of it, not all. I was able to hold on to a small piece of it.
Brian was the new basist in town. He came from Wilmer and he had this amazing long, curly blond hair and he was so all. I walked in to the 7th Street Entry to say hello to Rich, who I worked with at the club. An equally hot scene guy. Brian was setting up his base on the stage. Lanky, tall and so damn fine. I caught my breathe in my throat and elbowed Rich. Trying to breathe and talk at the same time.
"Who the hell is that with Bone Club?" I pointed at the stage. There was Brian, over 6 feet tall on his own. Standing on a three foot stage. He stopped my heart and I got a good tingle every where.
"Thats Brian Hinnenkamp, the new bassist for Bone Club. You think he is hot don't you? God, what is with you women?" Rich laughed and walked in to the booth. Passing Randy as he came out of the booth.
"Are you working tonight?" He asked me as he walked towards the stage.
" Yeah, I am Mid, Molly is closing. Hey Randy, do you know that new guy from Wilmer?" I motioned over to Brian. He was now sitting on the edge of the stage tuning his bass.
"Brian? Yeah, seems cool. " Randy is a man of few words, great words, but few of them.
"Oh." I tried to sounds uninterested.
I was so brave in those early days. I had no fear and no idea that life could be so cruel. I marched over to the stage and put my hand out right in front of Brian. Brown eyes looked up to me and that was it. He was spectacular. He smiled this huge grin with white teeth and a scruffy face.
"Hi, I am Sarah. I am one of the managers here. What is your name?" I looked him right in the eye.
"Hey, I am Brian. How's it going?" He continued to play his bass.
to be continued.....