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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1220813-The-Butt-Kap
Rated: 18+ · Other · Comedy · #1220813
A comedic INFO-mercial of a Medical Miracle
Butt Kap

The embarrassment of passing gas in public has been an age-old problem since civilization began. Whether it is the ‘silent but deadly’ type, or the rip-roaring fanfare of a robust bowel current, breaking-wind is a smelly intrusion to anyone in close proximity.

What if there were a product available, to not only disguise the odor, but to mask the noise as well?

Well, let not your heart be troubled, because here it is—the revolutionary new, Butt Kap.

The Butt Kap is a modern technological miracle, no bigger than a bottle cap, and one size fits all butts for long lasting relief from public flatulence.

And here’s...how it works!

[Cut to diagram]
When offending gases are released, the Butt Kap goes to work immediately, filtering the bad smells out and replacing them with a fresh fragrant scent.

And what about those bothersome noises, you ask? Well, let me show you.

[Hold Butt Kap toward camera]
When a strong blast is detected through these tiny little sensors here, the Butt Kap automatically initiates a prerecorded sound.

[Hold Butt Kap to lips and blow.]
(The beautiful chime of a cell phone is heard.)
Is that not truly remarkable?

But don’t take my word for it, let’s ask some completely satisfied customers just what they think of the new innovative, Butt Kap.

[Camera pans in on a fat Mexican guy]
“Hi, my name is Juan, and I love Mexican food. With the Butt Kap, I can eat spicy food all day and never have to worry about unexpected surprises. In fact, now I can just let ‘em rip without ever a thought of embarrassing odors or sounds. Thanks Butt Kap!”

[Camera zooms in on a beautiful woman and her boss]
“Hello, my name is Lisa, and the Butt Kap saved my job. I was in a crucial meeting with my boss when all of the sudden, I realized I had eaten something that definitely did not agree with me. With the Butt Kap, I was able to crap all over myself with a big smile on my face without him ever knowing.”

[Pan in on boss]
“Hey, Lisa, your cell phone keeps ringing, aren’t you going to answer it?”

[Close up of woman with big smile]
“Thanks, Butt Kap!”

[Show boss]
“The Butt Kap is truly amazing!”

Sound incredible? You bet, but wait—there’s more!

For just the low cost of $19.99, people will actually tell you just how good you smell. What could be better than that?

When you order the Butt Kap for the incredibly low price of $29.99, you get a one months supply of Butt Kaps, plus, an assortment of six different fragrances.

But wait—there’s still more!

For just $39.99, you’ll also receive three different prerecorded sounds: the Ringing Cell Phone, the Pager Beep, and the Screaming Police Siren.

Why hesitate? Get yours today!

[Announcers very fast voice]
Butt Kap is a product of the Ex-Lax Corporation and sold in fine stores everywhere.

Butt Kap—a name you can trust.

© Copyright 2007 W.D.Wilcox (wdwilcox at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1220813-The-Butt-Kap