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Rated: 13+ · Interview · Satire · #1231457
Will we find out why Colin did a runner? Bill Payer interviews.....
Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to The Deadbeat Dad Show, my name is Bill Payer and our first guest this evening is Colin, how are you today Colin?
Colin: Knackered, had to get up early to come here.
Bill: Never mind, this show gives you the opportunity to put your feelings across on how being described as a Deadbeat Dad affects you.
Colin: Doesn't affect me at all actually.
Bill: Why is that?
Colin: I'm too wrapped up in myself to notice anyone else.
Bill: Do you notice your children, you know the ones you abandoned all those years ago?
Colin: I didn't abandon them I know where they are. At least I think I do..
Bill: Why did your ex partner kick you out?
Colin: Not sure, I did say I was going to get a job. Just haven't found one I like yet.
Bill: Are you working now?
Colin: No, I am on Disability Benefit due to the stress of life.
Bill: Can you explain further?
Colin: My ex girlfriend upset me, asking for maintenance all the time ,I got headaches over it.
Bill: So for seven years you had a headache?
Colin: Yeah, I have suffered a lot more than she has.
Bill: But your ex partner has two children to bring up alone, do you think her life is easier than yours?.
Colin: Definitely. She's not suffering migraines is she?
Bill: I mean't the children, they are a lot of responsibility.
Colin: I know, I sent her a tenner to help out.
Bill: That isn't much is it?
Colin: She hasn't spent it already?, Blimey ! I thought she would make it last.
Bill: Tell me why you haven't bothered to get in touch with her and find out how your children are?
Colin: Was hard, after a few years I forgot what they looked like so didn't bother. Water under the bridge.
Bill: Do you think that statement is unfair?
Colin: No, life goes on dont it?
Bill: When you began to receive letters from The Child Support Agency, what did you do?
Colin: Binned them at first, then i noticed a damp patch in the bathroom they covered them up a treat.
Bill: What would you say to your ex girlfriend now if you met her?
Colin: She aint here is she?
Bill: No she isn't. But if she was do you think she deserves an apology?
Colin: What for? I aint done nothing wrong, My headaches are serious, most of the day I have to lie in a darkened room to get over it.
Bill: So it wasn't you in that nightclub last night then?
Colin: No.
Bill: Are you sure? We have some video footage to show you.
Colin: Oh that club, yeah popped in to use the loo.
Bill. And you were dancing on tables singing Money! Money! Money! were'nt you? Colin: What's the big deal, I'm entititled to have fun you know!
Bill: What about your headaches?
Colin; Funny you should mention that, got a migraine coming on now.
Bill. I see, well Colin since you abandoned your children all those years ago what are you up to now?
Colin; I did try to work, for a month. But had to leave.
Bill: Why?
Colin: The CSA said they would take my money, thought it a cheek so I left. Not paying a penny to my ex girlfriend she's money mad.
Bill: The money is mean't for your kids.
Colin: They manage. Fresh air is free.
Bill: Your now living in a luxury flat and have a car given to you by the government is that correct?
Colin: I'm entititled to it all, it's my right.
Bill: And do you have any more children?
Colin: Two more but they don't live with me.
Bill I think I know the answer but tell me why?
Colin: Wish I could mate strange how life goes isn't it?,
Bill: Well thanks for your comments today Colin, we all know why you are a deadbeat dad.
Colin: My pleasure.
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