The Inner Mutilation

All about the pain I cause myself, due to my past...

The Inner Mutilation

Countless nights of not sleeping
Abusing my body in my own way
Lack of what it needs to survive
Self mutilation is overrated.....
I've made my own way...

Why put a razor to my skin?
When I can kill my body from the inside,
Every night wasting myself away
Each night more pain and torment
My mind has become a scary place

Should one fear themselves in such a way?
Is it right to look yourself in the eyes...
And say I'm gonna kill you,
Then laugh hysterically with tears in your eyes?
I think I've finally gone mad...

There's only one thing I need...
Yet it's so complicated, no one could help,
Everyone may think they know,
But only I know what it is I lack
No one else sees through these eyes....

One day I will share my soul...
Spill my darkest secrets and fantasies
... Only to the one I deem worthy
To the one I know can give what I need
... What I need to be sane....

Until that day... More suffering will come my way...