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Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Ghost · #1256684
Based on one of my own stories.

Cast of characters:
• Seawillow “Billy” Tully, female, late teens-early twenties
• Tinne Miller, male, late twenties-early thirties
• Manta Kamahl, male, late twenties-early thirties
• Chris Hammer, male, mid-late twenties
• Danny Bronze, male, early thirties
• Oz Boehme, female, late thirties
• Tamera, female, mid twenties
• Astounding Bob, male, early-mid fourties
• 3 girls, mid twenties
• Volunteer, female mid twenties
• A bunch of extras to play audience members, crowds, etc.

Track is “I’m Just A Kid.” Billy is walking around a downtown area attempting to find good locations to approach people for street magic, but it seems that all the other big-deal magicians have beaten her to it. At one point, she gets so fed up that she gives one of her trick decks to a magician’s assistant (Tamera), and storms off. As the song ends, Billy is seen about to flop over onto her bed when she realizes that something strange is happening…she did not fall, but is in the process of levitating. The credits, by now, are over, and she is seen the next morning storming out of her house much earlier than any of the other magicians are even waking up. She finds a place, finds some interested people, and as the song concludes, she begins an illusion, and the dialogue starts.


BILLY: Fall back into that place…(Volunteer bends backwards hypnotically) Fall back into that warm summer place you were focusing on. (Billy nudges both of the Volunteer’s feet out from under her and lets go, leaving her floating in the air.)

GIRL 1: How…the hell…are you doing that?! (Billy slowly raises her arms high above her head, and the Volunteer follows them up. Billy steps slowly towards the group of girls.)

BILLY: When mind, body, and spirit work together…(Billy bring the Volunteer back to a standing position and awakens her.)…anything is possible. (Billy takes a bow for the group of girls, and then takes a bow for a clapping and whistling crowd that had formed behind her during the demonstration. Then the crowd and the girls begin to disperse.)

VOLUNTEER: That was amazing—thankyou so much—I have no idea—I—

BILLY: Think nothing of it! (She grins and watches the girl follow her friends, and then she continues down the street half-humming/half-singing to herself. Tinne Miller and Manta Kamahl come running down the sidewalk after her.)

TINNE: Excuse me, miss, do you have a moment?

BILLY: Of course! Let me guess: you’re looking for a hot young magician to book for your business party where eventually, my clothes will magically disappear—

TINNE: What?!

BILLY: --and then, I’d treat each of you to an enchanted lap dance!

MANTA: How old are you?

BILLY: (Starts walking away, shaking her head incredulously) Too young for you, boys, I’ve heard it all before—

TINNE: That’s not what we want you for! Wait! (He tries to follow her, but trips over a fire hydrant. Manta runs to his aid, but falls on top of him, and Billy stands there giggling until the two men finally regain their composure)


TINNE: We only wanted to say that we saw your little performance back there and that we thought you were maginificent…especially because you just look so young.

MANTA: You’re like another Chris Hammer! Only younger, and…well…you’re a female.

BILLY: Chris Hammer..? No way. He’s not even an illusionist—he’s like a god!

TINNE: Indeed…(notices that Billy is spacing out)

BILLY: Oh, sorry. My name’s Seawillow Tully. Except, just call me Billy, ‘cuz I kinda hate Seawillow.

TINNE: Tinne Miller. (Shakes Billy’s hand) This here is my comrade in hysteria, Manta Kamahl.

MANTA: It’s a pleasure, Miss Tully (bows slightly instead of shaking her hand).

BILLY: Likewise…(looking around clueslessly) So, I guess I’ll be seeing you boys around? (The two men aren’t listening—they’ve been murmuring to eachother, and then suddenly, Manta takes off running and out of sight) What the hell--?

TINNE: Here. (Hands Billy an invitation) You deserve to come. Just meet me here in this exact spot no later than five o’clock.

BILLY: (Reading from the invitation) “85th Annual Black Ball Gala and Show”? But—(When she looks for Tinne, she finds that he has vanished. She continues reading) “A magical masquerade you could only envision in your dreams. (Black-out, but a man’s voice is heard instead of Billy’s)

VOICE: Come to the Houdini Estate Mansion just off of Old Mill Road. Drive until you see it—(cuts to a close up of the speaker’s eyes)—You’ll know what it is, we’re sure of it. Present this invitation at the main entrance. (Blackout, but the voice is now shouting) NO GUESTS PERMITTED BRING ONLY YOURSELF…and a lot of nerve. (END SCENE 1)

(SCENE 2 opens upon Billy seated on top of her duffel on the street corner, glancing at her watch, tapping her foot, etc. Soon, a car pulls up, and Manta rolls down the passenger-side window and leans out.)

MANTA: Want a lift?

BILLY: Just pop the trunk, okay? (The trunk opens, she shoves her bag in, and slides into the back seat. Inside the car already are Tinne, Manta, Chris, Danny, Oz, and Bob. Bob is curled up in a corner by the window, fast asleep and snoring loudly. Tinne is driving, and Manta is practicing a card levitation trick. Chris is lethargically passing a nail through his hand over and over again, and it is obvious that this trick has become a complete bore to him. Danny and Oz are trying to figure out a Rubix cube. The only open seat is beside Chris, and Billy is doing everything in her power to keep herself from going completely starstruck.)

CHRIS: You must be Billy. (He extends a hand, which has a nail sticking through it. It does not phase Billy)

BILLY: Yes, it’s nice to meet you. Chris Hammer, right? (She accepts his handshake, then, pulls her hand away from his showing that the nail was now penetrating her own hand instead of his)

CHRIS: You got it!

DANNY: (glancing up from the Rubix cube) Just what you need, Chris—more competition!

CHRIS: Shut your mouth! (Oz gives Danny a little whack upside the head, and Danny snatches the Rubix cube away bitterly and continues working on it by himself)

OZ: It’s wonderful to have you joining us, dear. (Reaches towards Billy and they shake hands) I’m Oz Boehme. I’ve been came to my first Gala seven years ago for my thirtieth birthday, and I’ve come every year since!

BILLY: Wow…you don’t look a day past twenty!

OZ: (grinning and blushing) How old are you, dear?

BILLY: Eighteen.

DANNY: Damn, baby, you’re gonna be the youngest one there!

BILLY: Mentally, or annually? (Chris stifles a triumphant giggle, and Danny chucks the Rubix cube to the floor and just pouts)

OZ: What’s your costume like?

BILLY: Wait—what?

OZ: For your demonstration? You do have a costume, don’t you?

BILLY: I guess I’m wearin’ it…

DANNY: Oh, my God…

MANTA: (Quietly to Tinne) She’s joking, right?

OZ: Dare I ask you about your gown? (Billy shrugs) I’m guessing you’re not very familiar with the concept of “masquerade.”


CHRIS: Okay, Phantom of the Opera, it looks like we got some work to do. Oz?

OZ: One step ahead of you, bro. Hey, driver! (Manta laughs)

TINNE: What is it now?

OZ: Leave Billy and me at the mall. We gotta sort this chick out.

TINNE: You got it. (Fades out.)

(Scene 3 opens upon Billy and Oz searching through Hot Topic for skanky “magician’s-assistant” attire for the demonstration. Billy is looking through a rack, and Oz just walks up to her and shoves an item into her hands.)

OZ: Hurry and try it on, we gotta get you a proper gown!

BILLY: Hold on a minute—

OZ: Nope. It’s perfect. It’s just what you need. Go!

BILLY: Whoa, alright! (walking off) Jeez…watch the hostility! (Black out as Billy tromps into a dressing room and slams the door.)

(Scene 4 opens upon Billy and Oz walking through a department store towards the section full of all the elegant ball gowns, prom dresses, etc.)

OZ: Now, that wasn’t so terrible, was it?

BILLY: Are you kidding me? I’ll look like a prostitute!

OZ: No, you won’t. And even if you do—(stops right in front of the elegant-dress section)—afterwards, you’ll have plenty of time to redeem yourself!

BILLY: (Incredulously) No…n-n-n-n-no-Hell no!

OZ: You accepted the invitation, didn’t you?

BILLY: Well, yeah, but—

OZ: Then if you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna do it right! (Lifts a dress off of a rack and hands it to Billy. Cut to Billy strutting awkwardly yet stylishly out of the dressing room
Soundtrack is ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” At one point, both Billy and Oz are donning ghostly white ball gowns and decide to levitate down an isle, scaring the hell out of two middle-aged women shopping together who run off screaming, and Billy and Oz run and hide from the store employees, laying low in the dressing rooms for a bit. They have a great time all around. Cuts to a bunch of the guy magicians standing at a register in some higher-end thrift shop.)

CLERK: Did everything fit alright?


CLERK: Yes…you know, these are quite expensive items…

CHRIS: Yeah?

CLERK: You tried everything on first, I’m sure?

TINNE: What, all this? We were only in here for like, ten minutes!

CLERK: I know…(long pause
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