This is simply a sample out of a story of mine, and I'd like to have some critique on it.
|Necrozix smiled as he traced his claws past her wrist,cutting the ropes that had bound her hands together. When her gaze turned up to him, a malevolent look appeared in his eyes. He watched as a shiver wracked her body while he pulled her roughly toward a stone block that served as a table.
"No need to worry my dear..." He laughed lightly, and bent her over the table, pushing her down against it. "I'm sure you'll enjoy this..."
He kept one hand on her back, and reached the other toward her leg, tracing his fingers lightly across her skin.
Ryspiel trembled lightly at his touch, taking a small breath as she felt his hand stop on her undergarment. She bit her lips, clenching her fists as she gazed down at the stone before her. She felt the garment being pulled down, then dropped down her legs.She bit harder on her lips, her ears flicking back as she heard the sound of cloth against skin: the sound of him removing his pants. She felt her dress being lifted up, and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt his body closer to hers. She could taste blood.
Dasphril looked on with disgust at his new master's actions. His single working eye narrowed as he watched. Perhaps he should have stayed with his previous master, he certainly would reach his goal faster. He growled lightly, and turned his gaze away, flattening his ears back against his head to shield his hearing from the woman's screams. He began to stand, his form seeming to be nothing more than a wolven shadow. As he made his way toward the door, he stopped for a moment to gaze at the woman again.
She gazed down, but saw nothing, her sight blurred by tears. Her nails broke as she scratched them on the stone she was pressed up against. "...Fin...ral... Help me..." Her words were barely a whisper.
He flinched lightly, then turned and his form passed through the door. On the other side, he sat, closing his eye. "...Her eyes...looked dead.."