This Side of Death

6:00 AM Wednesday Morning November 29, 2006. "Another day," Lori silently
murmered as she stumbled to the alarm clock.  "Lord, thanks for this day," 
She mechanically muttered.  "Thanks for my kids..O God! The kids!  Practice
is early today!  Shit!"  "Dylan!  Get up! We're late."  "God, When can I get
a break?"  The phone rang expectantly as it  did every morning.

"Good morning"  sang the beautiful baritone voice of her 38-year-old single
brother just checking in.

She breathed in deeply trying to match the warm tone, but it fell flat. 
"Hey, Bruce.  What's up?"

"Getting ready for school?"  His attempt at engagement.

"Yea, but we're running late. Do you want Mike?"

Disappointment hid in his reply, "Yea, sure."

Why was there always so much to do?  Would there ever be time to breathe? 
"Stage 4; Phase 52" was the code she shared with her husband, Michael.  It
was their humorous way of acknowledging the fast lane they had chosen for
themselves.  Well, not exactly chosen; they had always lived by chance, and
their chances had eventually found them here: 4 kids, 1 mortgage over their
budget, 4 used cars, 3 pets, and hundreds of obligations later.

Sawyer, the youngest padded softly into the masterbath.  "Morning, honey,"
Lori smiled.  Sawyer was 7 with soft blond curls which framed her pale sky
blue eyes which never ceased sparkling. Lori could not but help soften the
tension she had been fighting within herself.  Sawyer cozied up to her
mother and the hug healed years of self-loathing.

Lori's mantra had always been to be anything but her father.  She was
determined to not bring the fear, hatred, anger, bickering, and paranoia in
which she had been raised to her own family.  So she kept it locked tight
inside herself, careful to not expose any of it, yet it seemed to still be
evident in her own offspring.  Perhaps the heavy exhales let out more than
she realized.

Kelsey, the 16 year-old redhead never worried about time.  She had spent the
last 15 minutes straightening the same piece of hair.  Her music had been
blaring from her basement bedroom, and now 6 songs later, she had not yet
emerged.  "KELSEY!! You're late!" Lori yelled down the stairwell.  Kelsey
was Lori's project.  Being the oldest, Kelsey was always under the
scrutinizing eyes of her mother.  Nothing seemed to be good enough, and
Lori's stories to friends and families always included Kelsey as the main
character.  Lori had been extra careful with her oldest.  She had big plans.
  Kelsey was no ordinary girl, and Lori was hell-bent on ensuring Kelsey's
realization of that.  Somehow, it had backfired though.  Kelsey had also
heard the silent messages of self-doubt and internal warfare unconsciously
given off by her mother, and because of the unclear delivery, Kelsey was not
sure quite what to do with them but to merely take them on as her own.