alone, i shall break

i freewrote this poem during a long period of sadness and depression that overtook me.

Who do you want me to be?
Without a face, without a name
A shadow in his darkened doorway
The reflection in your bathroom mirror
The shattered bits of a memory long forgotten
What do you want me to say?
That I was wrong, that you were right
That I’m sorry for being who I am
For standing up for what I believe in
For letting you crush me into the dust
How do you want me to feel?
That I’m worthless, that you’re God
That nothing I’ve ever seen was real
Nothing I’ve felt was worth your time
Everything I once believed was a lie
What do want me to do?
Act like nothing’s wrong, like everything’s okay
Forget my emotions and cast them away
Give you the upper hand, the key to my demise
Just sit here while I divide and you conquer
Why do you want me to be this way?
Clinging to the little hope I have, feeling faithless
Searching for an identity, some shred of a being
Tormented everyday by the bitterness of time
Wondering whether I’ll ever surface again
But until I can find my way down this dark path,
Alone, I shall break
Evermore